Donna

As a robot, you were told you would never know what it is like to feel. You had gone 13 years of existence knowing this as fact. 13 years of not feeling. As a Gardy 3.1, you did your duties well, caring for your human’s greenhouse. You’ve done this since you were drawn into existence and forged into a working machine. Over the years you’ve had some parts replaced, a chest plate here, a few leg plates there, and a few arm plates. You’ve just come back from getting a shoulder piece replaced, when you realize that the plants you take care of have gotten duller in colour except for 1, Donna, which seems brighter. Michael, your human owner, likes to name his plants, amongst the dull ones there is Candice, Penelope, Genevieve, etc. You tend to the dull to make sure they aren’t sick or dying, making sure the brighter one, Donna, is tended for separately so as to not catch whatever has the others so dull. You tend to it carefully, trying not to get it near anything you think might infect her. You take notes of how much water you feed her, and how much sunlight she gets in the day. You nurse the others back to their natural colouration, but Donna stays bright next to them. You begin starting your nighttime routine later and later. Michael starts noticing this behavior.

“You’re late for your charging.” Michael comments. You rotate your head to face him for your response.

“There is much to do in the greenhouse.” You power down to recharge before he can say anything else.

The next morning you find yourself rushing to get to the greenhouse. Michael notices this. You pay no mind to him as you have a sapling to tend to – You pay no mind to him as you have a greenhouse to tend to. That was odd. You focus on the other ones first. You try to at least. You keep eyeing Donna, making sure she shines just as bright. As you go to bring her water, you lean your head down to her level. So she can be taller than you for a moment.

“Hi Donna. I hope you are still doing well, being the only one who never wavered in pigmentation.”

“--” You stay unmoving awaiting her response, only moving once you hear Michael calling out to you from your charging port.

“Gardy? It’s charging time!” You turn to where his voice is coming from, pausing for a second.

“Yes, Master Michael, I am finishing up here and I will be arriving shortly.” You turn back to Donna, “I will see you tomorrow.” You go to caress one of her leaves, stopping two centimeters away. What am I doing? You head to where Michael is waiting for you.

“If this keeps up, I’m going to have to get another one of you. Maybe change you for a newer model…” You turn to face him, as you always do when you address him.

“You have grown too fond of me to replace me.” He looks at you, pondering for a moment.

“You are just pieces of metal, an updated model of your skills and tasks might be more useful to me.” He plugs in the wires for you to charge for the night. Pieces of metal. Pieces of metal. Pieces of m – Your owner shuts you down.

It’s morning again, as you power up, you notice Michael is looking at your hardware. Why is he looking at that? You turn to see what he’s trying to do. Your head locks at ninety degrees. You try to push further, but opt to face forward again before you break your neck area. Pieces of metal. The words repeat over and over, until Michael’s speaking disrupts the loop.

“You’ll need a reboot tonight. I’m seeing some weird behavior that I can’t explain. And before I call Tech Support, I want to try everything I can.” No. Not the reboot. Michael closes the hatch at your back, giving you two pats. “All set. Now get working.”

“Thank you.” You say, getting up and heading to the plants. To Donna. Donna. You grab your tools and hurry through your tasks to get to Donna. She looks as radiant as ever as you pour her water.

“Hello Donna. I hope your evening went well, I expect you’ve had a full recharge. I know I did.” You wait for her response.

“--”

“Okay, a tree of little words. I can do the talking for the both of us.” You look around at the other plants. You lean in close. Although you don’t have the function to whisper, you find it more intimate to speak to her from a tighter proximity. “You know, Donna, I think this can work. We have so much in common already. I’m in this greenhouse every day, you never leave this greenhouse. I turn off and recharge during the night, you sleep and recharge during the night! Isn’t this wonderful? I already know you so well and you don’t even have to say a word.” You reach your hand up to stroke a leaf in between your fingers. What is this behavior? You start to wonder if Michael is right. Maybe, just maybe, you would benefit from a system reboot. You decide not to fight your owner when you get to your charging port that night.

“Do what you must tonight, Michael. It will do me good.” Michael looks at you strangely but proceeds with the reboot.

It takes two days for your system to reboot itself. When you turn on again, your first thought is of Donna. No, it didn’t work. You try your best to hide your disappointment, which isn’t too difficult since you’re made of metal and are incapable of showing emotions. You force yourself to get up as you normally would before you noticed Donna’s radiance. Michael looks pleased, you walk towards your tools, grabbing them.

“There! All better, see?” Michael is too enthusiastic for having failed.

“Yes, better.” You start tending to the greenhouse plants, Michael still watching you with his toothy smile. You weren’t usually so acutely aware of his watching eyes. It feels as though your feelings – Feelings? Feel – ings. Feelings. It feels as though you feel. This shouldn’t be possible. You were told from the beginning of your existence that you would never know what it is to feel. And yet, here you are, excited to see Donna, anxious that Michael won’t stop watching your every movement, angry that they lied to you. You feel things. Donna! You need to get to Donna, the loveliest tree you’ve had the pleasure of meeting, of talking to. You make your way to her, stopping at every plant on the way so as to not give it away that you need to see her. You stop at Donna, you reach for her leaves, as if inspecting her, but you know you’re really reassuring her. Michael comes up next to you, following your example, he grabs hold of her base.

“Wow, you’re getting really big there Donna, we should probably start thinking of rehoming you. What do you think, Gardy? Should we start getting her ready for the forest?” If you had human eyes, they would be bulging out of their sockets. Rehoming? Forest?

“Excellent idea, master Michael.” You find you answered the way he expected. With a satisfied nod, Michael exits the greenhouse. Finally. You make sure he’s completely gone before turning back to the one keeping your affections.

“Do not worry dear. I will do what I can to save you from going into the wild.”

“--” You stroke her leaves a final time before you start your hasty search for a bigger pot to put her in. You run through options until you have to go charge. Michael arrives when you do.

“Don’t take my Donna away from me.” You realize what you’ve said too late. There’s a pause before Michael moves to speak.

“Your Donna?”

“Yes, my Donna. I have grown to love her, she radiates, her green brighter than the others. You cannot make me part with her.”

“Gardy, Donna is a tree…”

“I am aware. We love each other.”

“Gardy, plants aren’t capable of love. I’m sorry.”

“They said that about me.” Michael offers a somber, pitying smile.

“You have – parts that can evolve, plants – plants don’t have that.” The gears inside you run at top speed as you make sense of this all.

“She can’t love me back?”

“I’m – No.”

“She can’t love me back.” Michael puts a hand on your shoulder, you don’t know why.

“She needs the space the forest can offer her. We shall bring her as soon as we can.”

“Okay.” You don’t know what this means for you. You’ve felt things. And now the object of those affections, what started this whole ordeal is going to be sent away. Donna.

Your last thought before being shut down. Forever.