Don't you Remember?

The warm hues of gold and fiery orange cascaded across Adeline’s plump cheeks causing her hand to wipe the whisps of hair away from her eyes. This small stir alerted her body to slowly wake from its slumber. First came a big yawn followed by a long stretch. Then her eyes started to flutter open and shut. Open and shut. It took her eyes a minute to realize that everything around her was moving. There was a fast commotion outside of her window, which startled her. Where was she? Her relaxed state was smothered by waves of adrenaline urging her to wake up. She bolted upright and slammed her hands on the windows. The blurs of the outside world made it difficult for her to decipher where she was.

She whipped her head around to find an old woman wrapped in an off-white fur coat. It wasn’t like Adeline to talk to people she didn’t know. She was very brave when it came to things she could do by herself like climbing rock walls or jumping off of the roof into the pool, but when it came to others, she shut herself off like a clam. Her confusion, however, was leading the show and panic held the reigns.

“Ma’am, where are we going?” The woman’s head slowly turned and she let out a laugh that bellowed through the car.

“Oh dear! Oh my! I’m so sorry dear. I just…I just laugh when I’m nervous. The truth is that I also don’t know where I am or where we are going or what is going on. I’ve been sitting here trying to remember. I am old, so maybe I don’t remember things so good.” Adeline looked around for others. Near the back of the train she saw a man with his son sleeping in his lap. She looked back at the woman who was now flapping her hands in Adeline’s face, “Yoo hoo. Little girl! I said, little…”

Adeline jolted, “Oh um what did you say?”

“I said do you have your ticket? I tried finding mine, but I can’t seem to find it anywhere. Oh no! What if they come to stamp it, and I don’t have my ticket!” The woman frantically dug through her coat looking for her ticket. Adeline, too, ran back to her seat with urgency combing through the seat pockets, under the seats, between the seats, and anywhere a ticket could have fallen. With no luck, she searched her own body, but her shorts and jacket came up empty.

Adeline’s father—a chief of police—always taught her not to panic. With this piece of advice in mind, she pushed the urge to scream down into the pit of her stomach and ran to the back where the father and son sat fast asleep. Adeline debated whether she should simply start with a tap or just start with a good shake. Her father’s voice swayed her to tap. Gently she poked the man in the shoulder and whispered Sir. There was no reply. This time she dug her finger into his shoulder a tad more aggressively and raised her voice: Hello Sir? Neither stirred which raised some concern. She placed her hand under the man’s nose and felt the hot air sliding out onto the back of her palm. This time her panic swayed her to shake the man awake, so she grabbed both shoulders and began to rock him back and forth. To her surprise, the man only slowly began to open his eyes once she let him go.

“Oh thank God! I was beginning to think you were dead!” Even with the violent movement, the son lay sound asleep in his father’s lap. The father looked confused and wrapped his son up in his arms.

“Who are you?” The father looked at Adeline to assess the situation. Her Bermuda shorts, turquoise shirt, and white and yellow rain jacket with tiny rainbows put him at ease. She had two stringy braids that hung down from her bucket hat, which for some reason he couldn’t explain made him feel sick in the pit of his stomach.

“My name’s Adeline, but I don’t know how I got here or where we are going. I don’t know where my family is. I don’t remember. I can’t remember,” Adeline’s eyes fixated on the man’s son who was still lying in his lap, “Is he okay? Why isn’t he waking up?”

The father squeezed his son tightly into his chest, “I…I’m not sure. Anthony. Anthony wake up, son.” The man gently shook him. When he didn’t wake, his urgency grew. “Anthony Robert you open your eyes right now, son!” He gripped his son’s chin in his shaky hand and squeezed firmly.

“Check to see if he’s breathing! Maybe he’s not breathing!” Adeline knew her father would be disappointed that she couldn’t seem to keep her wits about her, but her heart was betraying her with every frantic beat. She was ready to run down the train screaming. Why couldn’t anyone remember why they were here? Where were all the people. In her car she saw one more woman at the front whom she hadn’t spoken to. She waited to see if Anthony was breathing, which his father confirmed, and then she marched to the woman seated at the front with her blonde hair nestled in a well-placed messy bun. With each step, her legs hastened launching her so powerfully towards the woman that when her little hands latched onto the woman’s shoulders she nearly ripped her out of the chair.

The woman caught herself on the seat, but when she craned her head to look at Adeline, Adeline fell backwards letting out a yelp, “Your face! What happened to your face!?” The woman patted at her skin which was mangled and littered with dirt and debris, “Don’t! Don’t touch it!” The woman flung herself towards the window to try to catch her reflection and then screamed herself. As she stood up, the whole train could see her exposed skin and tattered clothes all along the right side of her body. Pieces of asphalt sprinkled throughout the torn flesh.

“What happened to me?” she cried out. She couldn’t bare to look at herself and so she crumpled herself up in her chair and sobbed frantically.

“Anthony! Oh thank God! Anthony!” Adeline whipped her head back to see the young boy had woken up. Before she could make her way to the back of the car, she felt the train begin to shake and gain speed. She slammed her hands on the window to see the train climbing a mountain. The speed alarmed her.

“Why isn’t it slowing down?” she screeched. Anthony’s father grabbed her and sat her next to him and his son who was still in his lap.

Anthony could see her chest heave in and out and hear her breaths heavily announce themselves, “What’s your name?" He shakily squeaked. Adeline ignored his question until he grabbed one of her hands and pulled it closer to his chest, “Hey, I asked a question.”

Adeline turned her head confused by the offense she heard in his pipsqueak voice, “My name is…” she ripped her hand out of his. As she stared at Anthony her stomach churned forcing her to cover her eyes. The sheer horror in front of her was impossible, which made her look again at the sight before her. She could only peek through a slightly opened eyelid, and when she witnessed the same nightmarish sight, she sat shaking. Anthony tried to console her only as he reached for her it became apparent to him why she was so frightened. He gazed at his flattened body with fragments of bones peeping out. He did what he could to look up at his father, but that sight was too gruesome for him. The blood spewed down his father’s chin and suddenly he could feel an uncomfortably sharp object pressed between them. He let his body fall to the floor of the train to see his father holding a large piece of metal piercing him in his chest.

Simultaneously, they all heard the cries of the old woman whose neck drooped backwards and dangled from her body. Adeline couldn’t take it anymore, she banged on the window determined to break it. She wailed and cried, and in her unfathomable rage she tried to launch herself over the seat only to find she couldn’t feel her legs. She collapsed back into her seat and placed her hand under her shirt just above her hips to find a large laceration that had nearly cut her in half.

As each member of the train sat screaming and wailing, they heard a rumbling blast from the train and suddenly a black smoke creeped immeasurably fast towards them. As it enveloped the car of the train, Adeline could remember everything. Her reason for being on the train sent a shiver down her spine, and she knew. She remembered a car slamming into her car and multiple other cars. She remembered the slamming, flipping, and crunching of metal. A little boy and his dad crossing the street. An older woman driving next to them. A blonde woman sailing through a windshield.

She inhaled the dark smoke and as she exhaled a white mist filled the train until it was clear again. This time the train glowed with a brilliant white glow. She looked around at the passengers and all was well with everyone. Anthony and his father sat in the back wearing their matching Hawaiian shirts and cargo shorts no blood or brokenness about them. The woman with the blonde hair’s skin glowed a perfect, sun-kissed hue, and the old woman’s neck stood curved, but tall on her hunched shoulders. They all looked around at each other. No one could speak, but they collectively knew they had missed a member of the train. Crumpled in the middle of the train rocking on the floor was a man whose breath wreaked of booze. They gathered around him as he rocked back and forth eyes switching from person to person. He sputtered nonsensical words under his breath, but they all knew the sentiments he was urgently trying to convey.

To the man’s horror, the doors of the car jostled open and two men in uniforms came bustling through. Everyone knew why they had come. A part of Adeline wanted to plead for him, but the memory of her parents cradling her broken body on the warm concrete amidst crumpled up cars and billowing dark smoke motivated her silence. The group parted to let the two attendants through. Large, cloudy tears sat like concrete in the corners of his eyes. He took a large gulp and again attempted to make eye contact with each member, “I’m…I’m so, so-sorry.” His miserable pleas were audible this time and each of the group grabbed the hand of the others. The attendants hoisted the man to his feet which dangled, forcing them to drag him. His sobs eventually became inaudible as they drug him to the back of the train. They couldn’t even hear his screams as he was hurled from the back.

The group continued to hold hands until they felt the train slowing. The father pulled Adeline and Anthony close to him in preparation for the lurch. The blonde woman and the old woman gripped the seats. Slowly, the brakes engaged and eventually the train came to a halt. The doors opened revealing a meadow full of tall grass and colorful wildflowers dotting the landscape. In the distance Adeline could make out a mother deer and her fawn. No one could make a move until the old woman let out a laugh.

“Francis!?” She took quick, wobbly steps towards a man who stood at the doorway with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. He extended his hand to help her off the train and they embraced sharing a sweet peck. Adeline felt a sense of comfort seeing the lovely exchange. Slowly, loved ones came to collect the group. An older man in his 50s came for the blonde woman. He held her close and kissed her repeatedly on top of her head. Adeline believed it was the woman’s father. Then, a beautiful woman in her early 30s holding a smiling toddler came for Anthony and his father. Anthony ran to her wrapping his arms around her legs.

“Mommy! Mommy, I never thought I’d see you again,” he wailed between sobs. After he composed himself she gently lowered the girl to the ground and said, “This is your sister, Genesis.” Anthony had never gotten to meet his sister because his mother and sister had passed away during the birth. Anthony grabbed her tiny hands and twirled around with her while his father exchanged a sensual kiss with his wife.

Adeline inched towards the door wondering who would come to collect her, but before she left, she turned to look out the window behind her. She could see her family—her grandmother and grandfather who she only got to visit at Christmas; her older brother and sister who were always so bratty to her but also would do anything to protect her; her aunt and uncle who babysit her while her parents went out; her classmates from school holding hand made cards and rubbing their eye balls; then she saw her mom who was being held up by her father as they lowered her body into the ground. Adeline felt an urge to stay on the train, to beg the attendants to take her back to her mom and dad, but then she heard a gentle hum. A song that sounded so familiar to her. She curiously craned her neck around to see the source of the humming. Waiting at the door for her was her grandmother Sharon who had died from cancer when she was only seven. Adeline was flooded with memories of homemade forts in the living room, bike rides into town for ice cream, and listening to her grandmother hum her to sleep. She turned her head back towards the window and glanced at the grief displayed outside. Her heart broke for her family, but then she felt a hand wrap around her tiny palm.

“Come on baby girl. I’ve got a bike with your name on it waiting for you.” Adeline glanced up to see her grandmother’s beautiful smile and felt her flowing silver hair tickling her arms. She turned and walked off the train with her grandmother. As she glanced back, the train was no longer there, and as she blinked at the glowing sun, she found she couldn’t remember how she had come to be in this meadow with her grandmother, but she was thrilled to climb on her bike and race away with her.

“Last one to Pete’s Creamery is a chicken’s ugly butt!” She laughed wildly and sped away, grass tickling her legs, breeze blowing her hair. She had never felt more at peace.