Don't Check Out

Loni was staring at a web that was covered with caterpillars. Expect it wasn’t a spider web, it was a…nest? Some kind of cocoon...egg hatching web thing? Loni didn’t care, only that she wasn’t looking at caterpillars struggling for their lives, just vibing.

She wished she were vibing right now.

Then she could actually focus on the caterpillars.

“Are you sure that isn’t a spider web?”

And not on her.

“I’m sure Belle,” assured Ben.

And certainly not on him.

Though ironically, he had been the entire point of this hike.

Her interest in the caterpillars now dead, Loni walked away and kept going up the trail. The end of the hike wasn’t too far ahead, along with the waterfall and a nice view of the valley. The sooner she got there, the sooner Loni could start liking this hike.

“Ugh, Loni, why are you walking so fast?” Belle called out. Thankfully, since both Belle and Ben were behind her, Loni didn’t have to hide her grimace.

Maybe. Maybe the view would cheer her up.

“Agh, Belle, don’t…Loni! Could you please slow down? I...Belle can’t walk this fast.”

Despite her ire at Ben, Loni slowed down. After all, it wasn’t Ben’s fault that he liked someone else.

Though did he have to bring the other girl along to the hike? That Loni only invited Ben to?

Ever since they met at a country dance hall, Loni liked Ben. He was nice, funny, and he seemed to get Loni on a spiritual level. What more could she ask for?

But even though they happened to spend a lot of time together, it was just hanging out. Not dating, just Loni wondering if he returned her feelings at all. So after weeks and weeks of thinking, daydreaming, and aching for a romantic relationship with Ben, Loni finally gathered up the courage to ask him to hike her favorite trail with her. When he said yes emphatically, Loni had been at the top of the world. So much so, that she was surprised that she actually slept last night.

Only to crash right to the bottom of the world when Ben showed up at the trailhead with Belle practically hugging the life out of his arm.

By the time Ben apologized for just bringing Belle along without telling her, Loni felt her brain checking out. Well, that was a lie. She was more or less aware of what was going on around her, and she could definitely feel her heart breaking. But…

The pain wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be. Like...she was kinda numb. Or in shock. Either way, as long as it meant that Loni didn’t break down in front of Ben, she was fine with it.

She had to be.

When Ben and Belle caught up to her, Loni continued walking though she made sure to keep in front of them. She did not need to see Belle’s hands all over Ben. As the two of them talked, or rather, Belle gabbed endlessly to Ben, Loni stared at the green leaves in front of her. But they didn’t amaze her like they usually did.

Because unfortunately, while Loni’s heartache was numbed, it also meant that the beautiful nature around her wasn’t as bright or eye-catching as it usually would be. She loved nature too, and she especially loved this hiking trail.

So why did Belle have to ruin it?

Okay, that might be a little harsh, but Loni couldn’t help thinking it.

The minutes stretched on like this, in subdued misery and loneliness, until at last, they reached the end of the hiking trail. Loni rushed forward a little, eager to take in all the green trees of the valley and the blue rushing stream falling from the cliff. For the first time since she saw Belle, Loni felt her lips turn upwards.

“Ah, the waterfall is too loud!” Belle complained. Loni’s smile quickly fell.

Ah, forget it. She was naive to think that the hike could still be salvaged. Loni should have just left as soon as Ben brought along another woman, politeness be darned.

“Where are you going? I’m not going near the river! I can’t get my new shoes wet!”

…Maybe she should just leave now. Loni had the energy to keep on going, perhaps even all the way back to her car. If not, at least she can get a head start on the two lovebirds.

Loni turned around, intending to do just that. But as she debated whether or not to tell them that she was leaving, Loni looked at the two of them. When she saw Belle’s hands clinging tightly onto Ben’s arm, she almost turned her attention away until she saw something else.

Ben’s free hand was trying to pry them off.

Loni looked up at Ben’s face and saw the pain etched into his face.

Physical and emotional.

Suddenly, like she was pushed underneath the waterfall, Loni was bombarded with a bunch of recent memories. She recalled that while Belle had always been the one who initiated the physical contact, not Ben. Loni remembered that before she went into shock, Ben said something about how Belle called him because she needed company with someone she could trust. She realized that she had never once seen them hold hands. Loni also recalled not long ago Ben mentioning how he grew up with someone clingy.

“...I’m sorry, I’ve been kinda spacey today. What exactly is your two’s relationship?” Loni asked. Ben immediately lit up.

“Oh, she’s my little sister!” he exclaimed.

...The only reason why Loni didn’t slap herself was that she didn’t want to embarrass herself further.

“Yep, silly! Didn’t you hear me complain about how my ex-boyfriend broke up with me right on our six-month anniversary?” Belle added as she flipped her hair over her shoulder, which was the exact same shade as Ben’s. “The only one who could possibly comfort me is Ben. He always knew exactly what to say when we were kids.”

“I’m glad, I just wish you would listen to me when I tell you to let go,” Ben said as he finally managed the pry Belle’s fingers off his arm.

“Oh, come on! Why?!” Belle cried as she reached for Ben’s arm again. Only to stop when Loni pulled Ben away from her.

“Because it’s my turn,” Loni said as she wrapped her arms around Ben’s arm.

Loni knew that she probably needed to apologize, but right now, she just let herself enjoy the look of pure joy on Ben’s face as he pulled her closer to him.