Dixie

Entry 27: Fleeting

“When This all started, I was optimistic. I still had those who loved me for support. They gave me the strength to keep fighting, even when I couldn’t do the same for them. Now… Now I just want it all to be over- whatever that means. I don’t care how this ends, I just don’t want to have to run anymore. Ever since Jupiter, I haven’t been able to think. She was my rock. The one constant in this world of chaos. I feel so alone and lost and unstable. Nothing is for certain. We were sure that the hospital would be our light in the dark, but never...

Last night, I saw what had become of my home. I witnessed fiction become reality, the world caving in, colors unimaginable, I saw life and death for the constructs they truly are.

Nobody saw this fate. They all believed in happy endings. If I’m being honest… I did too. But I see the world for what it really is now: A hopeless realm of constant disillusion. One with infinite outcomes and pawns who believe they’re in control. There is no control. There is no truth, or deception, or love, or hate. There only is. There only is.”

Becket shut his journal and looked down at the locket Jupiter had given him. That was the day before the Split. A time where everything seemed so much simpler, one where people were free to be ignorant, blissfully unaware of what awaited them.

Becket opened the locket, revealing a photo of his daughter.

“It looks like a heart. That way, when you put someone’s picture in there, they’ll always be close.”

The father’s restless eyes swell up with tears. He let’s go of all the anguish he’s felt in a blood curdling cry. He snaps the locket shut and curls up beneath his thin blanket. Becket’s eyes shut as he attempts to sleep, but his thoughts boom through his brain, memories of the past six months flooding through every vein in his body.

Entry 1: The Split

“We’ve had to stay out of town for a few days now. They had a really bad quake in Seattle, so naturally we could stay in Dixie. All this commotion is nerve-racking, but I’m sure it’ll all blow over soon. A few of the nutjobs from town stayed around in their “doomsday bunkers” but I honestly feel safer out here. Plus, I’ve got Jupiter. In the end that’s all that really matters. As long as I can keep her safe, I know we’ll make it through this.”

“Dad, whatcha writing?” Jupiter ran up to Becket, halting his train of thought. He’s sitting with his back against a pickup truck.

“Ah, nothing… just keeping track of what’s happened so far,” Becket responded, shutting the journal. “It’ll be a good story for you to tell your kids. Figured this’ll help keep the facts straight so you don’t go too far off the rails!”

Jupiter laughed. “What do you mean? I’m honest!”

“Yeah, but you’ll exaggerate all the details.”

Jupiter sat down next to her dad. “Whatever you say.”

Becket tilted his head up at the night sky. A comet soars through the stars, bursting apart in the atmosphere. “It is beautiful don’t you think?”

“Depends on your perspective,” Jupiter muttered.

Becket looked down at her, concerned. “Hey, you’ve gotta keep your chin up, okay kiddo? Everything will work out.”

Entry 10: Perception

“They’re calling it ‘The Split’ now. An enormous rip from the crust down through the lower mantle of the Earth. Been about a month since the first one, the rest still seem centralized in the same spot. A lot of heat’s been escaping out in Seattle. The humidity doesn’t help either, all these toxins are getting carried through the dense air. People are sick. So far we haven’t been exposed, but we have other problems.”

A group of four young adults hiked up the hill where Becket and Jupiter sat. They looked starved and sleep deprived. Becket stood up, ensuring a barrier between the group and Jupiter.

“Can I help you?” Becket saw a knife on the nearest man’s hip.

“Just passing through. You know where we can get food or water… really anything?” The man looked down at Jupiter who was drinking from a canteen.

Becket took a step closer to him. “What’s your name?”

The man paused before answering, “Solomon.”

“Solomon, I’m Becket. Unfortunately we’re right about at the end of our rations ourselves. We’re hoping to hike to the nearest town tomorrow morning.”

A woman walked up past Solomon. She was clearly intoxicated with something. Becket looked into her eyes, pupils the size of small moons.

“What’s she on?” Becket asked, taking a step back closer to his daughter.

“Nothing,” Solomon replied. “She’s infected.”

The realization hit Becket like a train. The toxins were spreading so much faster than he had anticipated.

“I’m sorry, we can’t help you,” Becket stuttered as he continued backing up.

Solomon took a few steps toward Becket. “Please, at least give us directions towards the town.”

“You know I can’t do that. If the infection spreads…” He grabbed Jupiter’s hand.

The man pulled his knife out of his belt. “Give us the directions. Now.”

As Solomon prepared to charge at Becket, the ground between them began to split. A noise like a thousand sirens pierced the air. The ground shook like an earthquake, opening up a trench that must have gone on for miles. Becket pulled Jupiter with him and they sprinted into the woods, leaving the travelers…

Entry 17: Peace

“We’ve reached a point in this journey where the future seems clearer than air. This world is unforgiving- it always was. But now… now it is slowly eating all of its occupants alive. Jupiter’s sick. I’m sure those infected bastards polluted her health. I’m not sure how much longer she has. They say there’s a hospital in Montana where they can slow the effects, but I’m not sure if we’ll get there in time. We just crossed Priest Lake into Bonners Ferry and we’ll cross the state line in a few hours. I just want this all to be over. We had to steal a car from a couple. To be fair they’d already pulled a gun on us, but it still felt wrong. Everybody’s just doing what they can to survive, which means you find out how dirty you’re willing to get in order to keep the people you love safe.”

As Becket closed his journal, he felt the weight of the world crash down on top of him. He looked in his rear-view mirror at Jupiter who was curled up in the backseat. She let out a small cough. Becket tried to suppress his tears so as to not wake Jupiter, but it was all too much. He opened the door to his truck and kneeled down on the ground. Putting his head in his hands he screamed at the night. Becket wasn’t sure what he planned to achieve by doing this. Nothing about it should have been helpful. But as his cries died down, he found some form of clarity. He just had a feeling that this would all be over soon. He felt a sense of comfort and resolve that he hadn’t felt in weeks.

Becket stood up and climbed back into his truck. He looked to the backseat again at Jupiter, peacefully dreaming in another world. He settled into his seat and, for the first time in a long time, fell asleep.

Entry 19: Lost

“She’s gone. She’s actually gone. How was I so ignorant? She was right here and I lost her. I could feel Jupiter in my arms this morning like she was still here but it took her. Now… I don’t know. What should I do? I have no purpose. There’s no reason to keep going when she’s all I’ve been fighting for. She was my purpose. And now I have nothing.”

Becket looked at Jupiter and tried to pretend she was still sleeping. It was no use. He howled a visceral cry of anguish into the world around him as he accepted this fate. His daughter was dead.

“I could have stopped this,” He told himself. “I knew she was sick and I could have saved her. I never should have rested, I should have kept going until I reached that hospital. They could have saved her!” He stopped as he saw his reflection in a puddle on the ground.

In his mind, this was the man who took his daughter. Becket stomped on the puddle once he couldn’t stand the sight of himself anymore.

It was all over. Everything he had been fighting for had come to an end, and he was still here to deal with the repercussions. He was still here despite giving everything he had to protect the one he had lost. He would have died to save her and yet he still couldn't keep her alive. No matter how selfless he tried to be, it was never enough. He was lost, and knew it was all over.

Epilogue: Time Moves On

Jupiter sat with Dedrick, stroking her son’s hair. She thought of the sacrifices made by so many. They were the only reason this life could keep going.

“Will I ever see him?” Dedrick asked in a somber tone.

“Maybe one day bud. I hope you will one day.”

Tears welled up in the boy’s eyes. “How did he die?”

Jupiter paused. “Well… your grandpa was brave. He put himself first. By the time I knew what had happened to him, I could walk to the hospital. When I woke up, he didn’t. So I ran as fast as I could to get a doctor and they rushed back to get him. They gave me a shot because I was pretty sick. They were able to help out grandpa too, just not as much. He actually held on for another few years. It was sad to see him the way he was. I would catch little things he would say and… well I don’t think he ever left the reality we’d been in. He thought he’d lost me, and blamed himself for it.”

“Did it hurt?” asked Dedrick.

“Did what hurt?” She replied.

“Losing grandpa.”

“Yeah, bud. It hurt a lot. But, I know where he is now and that he’s happy.” Jupiter stood up and opened the door. She paused on her way out. “It may hurt, but I’m always able to remember him for who he truly was. Even in his final days when his head wasn’t all there... his heart stayed the same. And he had a good heart”

She left the room and shut the door quietly behind her.