Dinner for Two

Dinner was something Beth and Jim had planned to do earlier that week. It was just supposed to be a simple dinner at their favorite place. A quiet little Italian restaurant on the out skirts of town, planning the rest of the details of their wedding and enjoying the evening with each other away from the worries of the work day. But Jim had called and said something had come up and he would not be able to make it. After some lengthy powers of persuasion Beth was able to get Jim to come to dinner despite the happenings. There was too much on her mind to call off dinner no matter what Jim had going in his work life. A little veil parmesan and a smile from his future wife would brighten his day she thought.

On the drive over to the restaurant Beth noticed that Jim was preoccupied with something other then her and their dinner ahead. He was having enough trouble keeping the car on the road appearing to be in thought over something else. Several times she had to grab his arm to get his attention as he was driving the car off of the pavement towards a ditch. Once they pulled into the parking lot and into a spot he seemed to come out of his trance like state and came around to her side of the car to open the door.

“Sorry about that baby, been a bit preoccupied with work today.” Jim said to Beth.

“Yes, I could tell honey. But some how we made it safe and sound.” She replied as the two of them walked hand and hand into the resataurant.

Inside the matradee seated them at their favorite table out on the deck overlooking the wetlands. He knew them well as they generally came there at least two or three times a month. With no hesitation he told the couple he would bring their normal drinks and that it was a beautiful evening. They should enjoy a gorgeous sunset as he pointed across the water towards it. Both of them smiled and looked off towards the setting sun and then back at each other.

Dinner continued on as usual. Jim ordered a light appetizer which Beth didn’t want and Jim had the veil as his main course while Beth had the lasagna. Throughout the entire meal Beth still sensed the mindset that Jim had had while they drove over. She knew something about work was bothering him and she was going to take second fiddle to that unless she did something about it.

So as the two of them sipped their after dinner coffee she eased into the subject she had wanted to breach for awhile now. “How have you been feeling Jim?” she asked him as she placed her cup of coffee on the table cupping it to keep her hands warm.

Jim replied, “Oh I have been fine dear. Nothing wrong here.”

Beth poked a little harder, “I see, nothing bothering you physically like before?”

“Well, you know just those getting older problems. Nothing to worry about babe.” Jim said and then turned away from her stare.

“Are you going to let the doctor know!” she said rather quietly but sternly.

“Oh it is nothing why bother him?” He said.

“Why bother him?” she exclaimed in a softer voice trying to keep from others hearing her. “Jim there might be something serious going on with you. People don’t just cramp up, and fall down, or feel fatigued and weird like you do at your age for no reason.”

“Baby calm down I’ll be fine.” Jim replied while he held his hands up with a stopping motion that seamed to steam Beth’s emotions more then simmer them down.

“Calm down. Jim do you know that my mother told me that there were no signs that my dad was sick and he just died. You on the other hand have all kind of things happening to you and you just keep ignoring it.” She said to him.

Looking at her he could see the concern in her eyes and tell that she was upset and worried about the situation. He tried to put her at ease, “I really don’t think it is much. Probably just need to get into better shape. These last few months I…”

Beth cut him off, “No way. You are a strong man in good shape and these kinds of things don’t happen to men who are just a bit outta shape. Please Jim tell the doctor about this this is important not just to you but to me!”

Jim hesitated for a second looking for another excuse then he said, “But, but what if it really is something bad? What will I do for work? What will I do for us? I don’t want to live with that looming over my head.”

Elisabeth jumped in and told him, “Jim, we are getting married as the saying goes for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. I would rather know about it now and start taking care of it then wait and wait and wait till it gets terrible or even worse kills you. We didn’t see my dad dying; we might be able to prevent you from doing it. Cant you see my fears?”

Jim’s toned changed to a very serious and somber one, “Yes, but I’m scared too. I have been seeing whatever this is get worse for a few months now. Hideing it from others. Laughing it off when someone notices and wondering if it is something horrible. I am a young man. I am not supposed to get sick. I am supposed to be hear, to support you, not be in a hospital bed somewhere with you taking care of me.”

Beth reached across the table and put her hand on his hand and said, “Jim, I truly believe god put us together for a reason. That reason might be to fight some disease or ailment you have, together. Not by yourself and not if it is hidden. We can’t take care of it if we don’t confront it in the first place.” She paused and said, “Tomorrow you have your physical. Will you tell the doctor what has been happening to you?”

With a smile Jim replied, “Yes I will take care of it. But I am wondering. If you believe god is putting us together, why is he doing this to me?”

Beth had a quick and sure response, “Jim, god has a reason for everything. He made some things very hard on you so that you would have to stick with it and learn discipline. He tried to make you humble be letting you win in some aspects of your life. He puts you in situations like that spot the other night when you saved that little girl for reasons you may not understand. I know you didn’t think it was that big of a deal. But saving that girl touched many people not just the little girl. Somehow and someway god had a plan in that too. You may not see his plan now, you may not see it tomorrow, but the plan will come alive to you someday and you will see it for all that it is.”

Jim again felt something as he had felt something that night he was saving the little girl with Bill. He asked Beth, “You know I believe in god. But I am not sure if I believe in him like you do. How will I truly know he is real?”

“Deep inside you will feel it. If you truly are believing, then you have probably already begun to feel his warmth, his power, his love. Your probably not sure what it is but your sure it is different and your sure it is good.” She continued on, “I know you do not believe as strongly as I do but I do know you are growing in your beliefs and I am growing even stronger in mine. God does not expect us to be perfect in every thing we do. That is also true in our faith. It will grow and it will nurture with time. Don’t be afraid to let it expand with me by your side. I love you and he loves you.”

After dinner during the drive back Jim reflected on their conversation and felt a bit more at ease with talking to the doctor the next day about his problems. But he still disapproved of his feelings about his faith in god. Did he believe? Why did anyone believe? Of course he believed. Elizabeth believed. Did everyone think the way he was? This was all so disconcerting. Questioning his beliefs only brought a negative aspect to the situation and with his life being torn in fifteen different directions at the moment, he needed as much positive power as he could get.