Diary of the Lost

The cabin in the woods had been abandoned for years, but one night, a candle burned in the window.

That’s all it said. Nestled between the standard, boring, everyday kind of comments you read in a guest book. 

We had a lovely time. So beautiful. Deb and Bob, Mason City Iowa

Glad I came in the fall! I didn’t know tress turned so many colors. Rebecca, Tennessee

My wife made me come and write in this. Which was lightly crossed out, and underneath was written, We loved every minute. Sandy and Doug, Plano, TX

“Anything good?” 

Startled, I squealed and jerked back.

“Jeez, sorry, Taylor. We haven’t even gotten into the forest yet, and you’re all jumpy.”

One of my best friends, Ruby Washington, had come up behind me. She was chomping on an oversized wad of fruity-smelling bubble gum and taking photos of everything with her new iPhone, one of many graduation presents from her family. 

“It’s just a weird entry in the guest book.”

Ruby inspected the page and snapped a photo of the writing, “It’s probably some kid being dumb.”

“Who’s being dumb?” My other bestie Jasmine Bear emerged from the park’s visitor center restroom, wiping her hands on her shorts. She stretched her long tan limbs and secured her even longer raven black hair into a beautiful clip. Her grandmother had made it for her graduation, hand carving a bear into the recycled leather for her namesake. 

“Someone wrote a weird entry in the visitor book thingy.” Ruby slid her phone into her back pocket and grabbed the pen. “What she would we write? I lit the candle, love a ghost.” 

“Love the ghost.” I corrected, laughing, “Ghosts are solitary.”

Ruby, Jasmine, and I had been friends for over a decade. Ruby and I met in kindergarten and instantly bonded over hating milk and loving naps. Jasmine transferred to our school in the 4th grade and punched the school bully on her second day. Ruby and I knew right then–she must be part of our squad.

Last month, we graduated from Central Northeast High, home of the Fighting Tart Cherries (something our area was known for and much more innocuous than the previous mascot). Jasmine was already saving the world and working for a grassroots non-profit. Ruby would soon be off to M.I.T., following in her mother’s footsteps. Before we all went our separate ways, we decided we must go on one big camping trip.

I wasn't quite sure what I was doing, although they didn’t know that. It was the only secret I had ever kept from them. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life or what I wanted to do next. That is, except for this trip. This was the first time I had been truly excited about something in a long while. 

“Okay, this is actually weird.” Jasmine was now flipping through previous pages in the book. “That entry is in here several times, in different handwriting.” 

Ruby shrugged it off, “Maybe it’s a local legend, and people write it to be funny. My family and I went on a road trip when I was around eleven. One of the stops was this town in Wisconsin that thought it was famous for some aline encounter. Everywhere you looked, there were there terrible alien puns.”  

“Oh, I remember that! You brought us back shot glasses that said ‘You’re out of this world’ with a little alien on them. My mom thought it was super inappropriate.” My mom absolutely loved Ruby; however, some of her actions added a “but” to the loving sentiment.

Ruby smiled and winked at me, “I mean, are there even cabins in state parks?” 

“I think some have them for camping,” I paused, “But I don’t know about mysterious candles and haunted cabins.”

Jasmine casually chimed in, “All forests are haunted.”

And with that, we all piled out of the center. “Goodbye, last normal bathroom for two days,” Ruby dramatically lamented and waved. She adjusted a couple of her Bantu knots and then bobbed off down the trail. Jasmine retied the rainbow laces on her forest green, purple, and orange hiking boots and followed closely behind. 

I realized I was still standing by the door, watching them go without me. I ran to catch up to them, unsure of how they got so far ahead so fast.

++

None of us had been here before, so we weren’t exactly sure what to expect. We had hiked every trail within a hundred-mile radius of our hometown, but this was our first big several-day hike. Everything we read beforehand talked about how beautiful it was, the trail levels were moderate, and the primitive camping was worth the effort. 

I adjusted my backpack straps, which were already grinding into my flesh. I borrowed this backpack from Ruby’s little sister Crystal. Their family had a thing for gem names. Ruby told me her mom had almost named her brother Alexandrite but thankfully went with plain Alex. I was grateful for the loan but felt a little silly carrying a bright pink pack with pompoms and glittery stars. I was also terrified of getting it dirty. I couldn’t disappoint a nine-year-old, especially one that was cooler than me.

Ruby spent most of the first mile on her phone. I wasn’t quite sure how she could walk and read so well. 

“Yas!” Ruby spun around, wild-eyed, jutting her phone out for us to see. It was a black screen with fluorescent green writing in a spooky font. “It’s the only site I can find with any mention of a cabin in this forest.” 

I balked, “Ruby, it’s probably like you said, some kids being dumb.”

“Also, what’s that site?” Jasmine picked up her pace to look at Ruby’s phone again, “It looks like it was made when the internet was invented.” 

“It’s called Buried Myzteries. With a Z!” 

“Spooooooky.” Jasmine and I both said at the same time and grinned.

“Seriously, gals, listen. These original woods were avoided by the native people, so when white settlers came, they warned them, “Maji-maanidoo.”

“Evil spirit, I think.” Jasmine mused.

“Bingo! But, of course, they didn’t listen, and the woods became known as Settler’s Woods.”

“Of course.” I moaned, Jasmine adding, “What an original name.”

“It goes on to say, 'When the white settlers ventured into the area, they tried to cut the trees, but no axe forged cut even scar them. So, they built on the land near the woods. To this day, not one tree in that woods has fallen from the efforts of man.'”

Jasmine and I looked at each other, smirked, and yelled, “Spoooooky,” again. I added a “Crisps” to the end, but I could tell the joke didn’t land. 

“There are many local debates on who built the cabin and when. Many say the cabin was there, long before any person.” Ruby’s made her voice low and menacing, “The speculation is that no human built the cabin.'” 

She did her best maniacal laugh, paused, and scrolled, “A bunch of weird ads... Okay, this dude Walter James Bardingham came from New York after the first group got there.”

“WJB! Way to come late to the party, brah!” Jasmine did a little flailing dance down the trail. “That’s my WJB party dance!” She continued dancing as Ruby read.

“Ooh, they found his diary,” Ruby changed her voice again, doing her best imitation of an old white man, “'Arrived at the camp near sundown. My wayward soul weary for another, but not one in sight. They settled on a fair plot of land, near a river and a forest. The earth here is sturdy, but there is an odor. A mixture of copper and spoiled meat. I feel the metallic scent on my tongue.'” 

“They found this dude’s journal from like the 1700s?” I inquired sincerely. I found having your words immortalized forever fascinating. 

“Yeah, I guess.” She looked for her place in the story and resumed her normal voice, “'They arrived back well after dark. My pocket watch stopped upon arrival, so I am using the sun to guide me. I took refuge in one of their structures for the animals.'”

“So a barn?” I quipped, but sensing I might be irritating Ruby, I muttered, “Sorry, go on.”

“'I heard them first. One of them was whistling, but it wasn’t a tune. It was shrill and filled my head and heart with unease. Then I saw pinpoints of light dancing through the dense woods. I must be candles, even though the lights had an odd red glow, perhaps due to elements in the air. Isabelle Montgomery, the doctor’s wife, came through the trees. I made my way to her.'”

“Baum chicka baum baum.” Jasmine sang and laughed. 

“I fear they have seen much hardship since coming here. The doctor’s wife didn’t recognize me. She couldn’t tell me where the doctor was or where she had been. She was gaunt, yellow, and her eyes were dark and sunken. She seemed hollow, like that of a freshly rotted tree, and smelled of it as well.”

“This guy's a dick,” I blurted out.

Jasmine laughed, “Typical white dude. Hey, sorry you've been out in the middle of nowhere building this town and shit, buuut I’m not finding you attractive right now, sooo.”

We all laughed, and Ruby continued, “The next entry is two days later. ‘In the course of my business here, I have encountered a few oddities. I have known many of these souls for some time. Their decline is evident. I fear this journey has driven them mad. Tomorrow I will venture into the woods to see this cabin for myself. The way they speak of it, surely it shall be a gapeseed.’” 

She paused, “No one is going to comment on gapeseed?" After another beat she continued, “So, this was the last entry in his journal, ‘Then it fell upon me, that the Wraiths here are many. Why am I here? My soul is forever cast, the light no longer dwelling within me, but in a forsaken place I did not seek.'”

“Drama much?” Jasmine bit at her already chewed fingernail.

“That’s pretty much it besides saying that over that last hundred or so years, some people claim to see the cabin, but no one has proof of it existing.”

“That’s a pretty wild story Rubes. Taylor, which way are we going?”

We had unexpectedly come to a fork in the trail. “Let’s stop here for a second.” I had studied the map pretty well before our trip, to an almost nauseating extent. Still, I couldn’t remember this Y. It seemed too early in the hike to consult the map, at least without worrying my friends. 

We were interrupted by happy, bubbling voices from behind. We met several groups of people heading back to the visitor's center, but none were venturing into the forest. Which at first had made me a bit nervous. But finally, a small group of hikers came from behind. Two women and what looked like twins, one girl and one boy, passed by us. 

I smiled as they went by, and everyone cheered hello. The little boy smiled and waved. He pointed to Jasmine, “I like your shoes.” “Thanks, kid. I like your teddy bear.” 

“Let us know if you find that cabin!” Ruby yelled after them. The family laughed, and the women gave her a thumbs-up as they disappeared down the right fork in the trail. 

I quickly decided that if a family with two small children were going right, we should go left. 

++

After about five more hours of hiking, we finally stumbled upon what looked to be the primitive camping area. I only say that because it was one of the few clearings we saw. There was also a make-shift fire pit in the center. 

I looked around for a sign, but there wasn’t anything. I knew camping in an unauthorized area could result in a fine. I also couldn’t imagine anyone finding us and being angry three girls made a mistake. Plus, the last few hours of the hike had been arduous, and we were exhausted. 

“I’m exhausted.” Ruby yawned, and Jasmine followed with “Same!”

We all plopped on the ground. “I’m even too tired to eat.” Ruby and Jasmine murmured in agreement as we rolled out our sleeping bags. I snuggled into mine, also borrowed from Ruby’s sister. I had the intention of meditating under the blanket of stars. It was rare to have moments of utter solitude, but I was out cold before I could even get comfortable.

++

I had one of those nights where you are so tired you aren’t sure if you are asleep or awake. Imagined experiences ebb and flow through your brain. Is this a dream, or am I transitioning, possessing thoughts resembling a dream? 

I awoke once. A high-pitched ringing in my head, most likely from dehydration. My eyes were heavy, too heavy to open. I fluttered them. And then again. And again. Until I had them open enough to see a blurry, dark mass of trees. The wind swayed the branches in a formal, choreographed dance until one tree seemed to not move at all. 

I focused and opened my eyes wide. That tree was different from the others. It moved as if it were transforming its shape, shifting away from its roots. Its branches moved in the opposite direction of the other trees. Long arms with longer fingers were reaching forward, enveloping and absorbing the dark.

Frightened, I quickly turned my head, only to find Ruby and Jasmine calmly sitting by the fire.

“Where were you two?!”

They looked up at me, unfazed but seemingly bothered that I was questioning them.

“Where were you?” Ruby asked. They looked at each other. Their faces read of pity and disgust. 

Jasmine leaned into herself, wrapping her arms around her knees. A small glimmer of campfire reflected in her big dark eyes. “We asked if you wanted to come, but you didn’t.” 

“I was asleep.”

They looked at each other again, and Ruby poked at the fire with a stick. “You’re always asleep.”

“Do you see the monster in the trees?” I whimpered.

“You are the monster in the trees.”

++

I sat straight up, drenched in sweat. Ruby’s singsongy voice rang, “Gooooood morning!” 

Jasmine popped up from behind me, “Do you want to explore?” I jumped in my skin and lightly hit her for the scare. She stuck out her tongue and wrinkled her nose. 

“Yes!” Ruby lit up. “I seriously want to see if we can find that cabin.”

The cabin again. Ruby was no-nonsense. She scoffed at anything that science hadn’t discovered or didn’t make mathematical sense. Whenever I watched a paranormal show, she immediately tried to debunk everything in it. Why was she suddenly so fascinated with this cabin?

Jasmine was more open. She learned all the folklore of her people but also knew to take most of it for what it was–stories. Even with that mindset, she once told us that she knew magic existed in the world, but very few could actually see it. 

I just smiled and nodded. 

It didn’t take us long to get ready. We decided to leave most of our gear at the site. Finding another place to camp seemed too daunting. Our usual energy was drained a bit, and while we knew someone could possibly steal our stuff, we also knew they’d have to find it, pack it up, and carry it for six-plus hours back to the entrance. To us, that felt too tiring of a crime. 

The woods felt less intimidating this morning. After about an hour of meandering, we stopped to drink water and eat a snack. Ruby and Jasmine went to take a few pictures. I decided to finally look at the map. I was still confused about where we were, but we were on a trail, so did it really matter? But deep inside me, I needed to know. 

I traced the first part of the trail and still could not find the Y. I heard rustling and looked up to see Ruby coming back toward me. I went back to the map. 

“Are we lost?”

“Yep, we are actually in Canada now.”

“Hooray!” After a few moments of silence, Ruby whispered, “Isn’t that the family from yesterday?”

I hadn’t heard anything, so I looked back up. Coming down the hill was the same family we had seen the day before. They weren’t on a trail. Instead, they pushed their way through the thick, cluttered underbrush. We watched as they approached and passed us in complete silence, not even glancing our way.

“Did you find the cabin?” Ruby shouted after them. Only the small boy turned around. His stone face was intensified by his cold, glazed eyes. He walked with his family, but his head was turned back, eyes fixed on us. He just stared–right through us. 

“That was creepy,” Jasmine observed as she rejoined us.

“I guess they had a rough night.” I watched as they faded into the darkness of the woods. I swear, for a few moments, I could still see his eyes in the shadows, even though they were no longer visible.

After a few hours, sans help from the map, we found a brilliant blue-green stream cutting its way through the trees. It was fast-moving, whisking small stones away to new adventures. The bigger ones remained to bask in the sun, never quite drying, leaving them glimmering forever. 

A little further down the bank was a small patch of grassy earth perfect for relaxing. We decided to spend the afternoon here. Ruby and Jasmine headed down the stream to take more photos. I felt this was the ideal spot to journal about our adventure and find myself. 

My mom had given me this journal for my 17th birthday. “Use this to reflect and dream about everything you want to be, Taylor.” Besides putting my name into the “this belongs to” space, I hadn’t done much soul searching. When I read through it, it simply felt like the most boring words ever written down. I brought it along in hopes this adventure would inspire me.

I found a large rock and leaned into it. I took off my hiking shoes and socks and stretched my toes in the freedom of the fresh air. A small sunbeam was trying to force its way through the canopy of trees and land on me. The air was warm, but the cool breeze from the stream hugged me. I listened to the birds' songs and the stream's babble. I watched as the shadows grew up the trees, fighting the sun's light but eventually intertwining. This. This was living. 

++

My head fell sideways. My eyes flew open as I slumped off the rock. I must have fallen asleep. Disoriented, I scanned the surrounding area. Trees, trees, and some more trees. Ruby and Jasmine were gone. I yelled their names. I heard a soft echo of my voice bounce off the trees. I knew that was impossible. I shook it off and lightly slapped my face to be fully awake.

I tapped on my old-fashioned analog watch. It was now close to four. Had I really slept for almost two hours? I was slightly irritated they hadn’t awoken me and asked me to go with them. This was not like them at all. Perhaps they thought I needed more sleep. 

All the options whirled around in my head. What if I left and they returned, causing me to become lost? What if they were hurt and I didn’t go looking for them? I slid my shoes back on and started packing my things when I heard the branches break behind me. 

“Finally!” I shouted and turned, but no one was there. 

I surveyed the area, threw on my backpack, and decided I had to find them. I knew that Ruby probably went to look for that damn cabin. And while Ruby and Jasmine were intelligent, creative, and fit, I was still worried.

I tried to think of every show I’d watched about missing people. I looked for footprints and found our set from earlier. But I also found a set leading back to the forest, the same way we came. However, there were three sets. So, it couldn’t be us. That would be only two sets leaving. Unless. My heart stopped. What if someone forced them to leave? 

I raced along the soft impressions in the dirt, leading me up to the main trail. The footprints eventually faded, but they were heading back the way we came. As I hastily made my way down the path, I began to notice the trees didn’t look the same. They were thicker, ragged, and overgrown. 

The trail was sinking into the earth, buried by leaves, bark, and stems in various stages of decomposition. The roots of the trees were tangled on the forest floor, tied up in knots, grabbing at my feet, as if to bring me to the ground and swallow me alive. 

Where ever I was, it was eerily still. I noticed there were no sounds, no birds, no rustling, no insects, nothing. Out of nowhere, I heard whistling. It wasn’t a human whistling, but it also wasn’t a bird. It was unnerving. It reminded me a bit of the train tracks in the industrial part of our town. When the train would slow and grind the track, it filled the air with a piercing sound you could almost see and taste. 

I came upon another soft Y in the path. Another Y that I swear hadn't been there before. From there, I saw an opening in the trees to the right, so I followed it. My gut told me that Ruby would be looking for openings.

When I arrived at the spot where I could see clearly, I couldn’t believe it. The cabin. Sitting there in the middle of this dream-like space. Then it dawned on me. There was a cabin, and I bet someone lived in it, and that someone could be a murderer. 

Heart racing, I made my way to the cabin. The tree branches were overly aggressive, grabbing at me, at my clothes, at my hair. As if they were warning me, begging me to not go further. I could feel the sharp tears on my skin as I fought them with all my might.  

Once into the opening, my whole body felt heavy. The air was tight around me, holding me back. I was walking through invisible mud, each step more strenuous than the next. Everything around me seemed blurry. But I knew I was almost there. I called out. No one answered. My pleas lost in the vacuum of this forest. 

I finally broke free and stumbled to the cabin's window. Peering inside, I saw nothing but my own reflection. I heard a thud and felt a sharp pain. Everything in the window’s pane moved together to form a dark shadow. Then everything was black. 

++

I opened my eyes. A dusty, stale, pungent smell hit me. It was like a melon rotting in wet dirt, with hints of what could only be described as metallic garlic. I could taste blood in my mouth. I wiped my face and realized I was bleeding. 

Head throbbing, I looked around. Somehow, I was inside the cabin. It was dark, but the window gave me a decent light to gather my bearings. There wasn’t much inside. All I could make out was a window, a door, and some personal items scattered about. It was hard to make most of them out, but near the window, I saw what seemed to be a pocket watch and compact mirror. There was also a teddy bear leaning up against the wall. 

Suddenly, I heard the girls outside. My heart flipped. They were okay! I jumped to my feet and ran to the door. I violently shook the cold, rusty knob to no avail. I’m in here. I frantically tried to scream. Trembling, I continued to pound on the door. In here!

A small cabinet near the door caught my eye. If there was a key, that had to be where it was. I went over and yanked on the drawer. Years of moisture expanded the wood until it was too swollen. I put my foot on the stand and secured it to the wall, using all my strength for another pull. The drawer flew loose, buckling the frame, and items scattered and rolled across the floor. 

I fumbled through the contents–no key–but there were a few candles. I patted my shorts for matches and pulled out the matchbook I knew would come in handy at some point. The first match I struck scratched and hissed but only let off a little smoke. I shakily struck a second. Nothing. I swiped it again. Nothing. It was useless. I tore off a third. It crackled and lit an enormous flame, engulfing the room momentarily but immediately blowing out. I screamed in my head. 

I ripped off another stick, bent down as low as possible, cupped my hands over the matchbook, and struck, igniting a small but steady flame. Thank you! I quickly lit the candle, held my hand over the flame so the light wouldn’t diminish, and went back to the window. 

I looked around, pressing my face to the glass, streaming my neck to see as far to the right and left as I could. Ruby and Jasmine appeared into view, walking from the left side of the cabin, yelling into the air. I pounded on the window, in hopes of them hearing me or in hopes of breaking it, whatever happened first. 

The only thing heard in that cabin was a deafening silence. Surely they would see the light even if they couldn’t hear me. I watched as they spoke to each other and consulted something. What was in their hands? As they opened it, I knew immediately. They had my journal! But how? Wasn't it in my bag? It didn’t matter, I told myself, but deep down, I ached with knowing.

All of a sudden, my skin began to prickle. The heaviness I had felt outside was now weighing down my shoulders. The damp air in the cabin abruptly grew colder as my flame flickered. I heard a slow creeeeak of the floorboards near the door. I turned my head slowly. 

Standing right where I had just been was a dark mass. It was as tall as the ceiling and blacker than the darkest night. It was a figure of nothing I recognized. It slowly metamorphosed, changing shapes as it glided and wafted toward the door. 

I knew it knew I was here. It had no face, yet I could feel its eyes upon me. It had no mouth, but I knew it wanted to devour me. It had no soul, but I knew it wanted to live. What do you want? I screamed, but again, only in my head. All I heard in return was that grinding, unbearable whistle. 

I turned back to the window and started screaming again. Surprisingly, they turned to look. My heart stopped and then started beating faster, and faster, and faster. I could feel every ounce of my blood squirming and thrashing through my veins. Yes! I pounded excitedly on the window again. I watched as they pointed. They must see me! 

Out of my peripheral, I saw the monstrous shadow figure drift through the locked entrance and emerge on the outside. But what revealed itself on the other side was not the hideous creature I had just seen inside. 

I looked toward my friends again. I saw their faces light up. Fear was falling and being replaced with relief. Ruby ran towards the figure. 

I watched as what appeared to be me ran to her. 

I saw us embrace and walk toward Jasmine. I saw them hug. I watched as they turned to look at the window, at the candle. They didn't see me, the real me. I saw the reflection of the beast in Jasmine's unknowing eyes. Then I saw what was now me grab their hands and lead them away. 

Small red reflections began populating the window. I turned and saw a hundred or more candles burning in the darkness behind me.

++