Delusion

A locket. A fucking heart shaped locket.

It's worthless to anyone except me. Pictures missing and it’s faded to shit, but it’s all I have from before. My name, John, is written on the front, even though it is starting to wear off. I know it’s super important to me, but all memories are jaded living in this new world. After who-knows-how-long, I’ve forgotten who I used to be. But still, you gotta take it one day at a time. Survival ain’t what it was like before. When the end started Mother Earth went haywire, plants erupted and over grew everything. Earthquakes changed the tectonic plates. Mountains were formed that never should have. Oceans levels rose super high, to the point where everything that once was, could be no more. But now, the world has dried up, everything is dying rapidly. It’s the end for not just us, but earth herself. Those of us still alive are seeing what’s really at the end. Just more death. Maybe that’s what we are all looking for, peace before we die. Hope is starting to flee more and more. Oh well. “We make the best of it, don’t we Ben?” I ask the man sitting behind me. He’s just out of sight, but I know he’s awake like me, he always is. At least I’m with the person that’s been with me since the end started, Ben. I follow what he tells me, it’s kept me alive for this long. He knows what to do.

“.....”

No response. Probably deep in thought like me. Trying to remember. Best to leave him to his own. Tomorrow all of us pack up camp and move somewhere else. I need some rest.

I awake from the sounds of gunfire and screams.

“They’ve found us again! It’s too late, fuck, fuck, FUCK! Get up! Fucking run!” Ben yells at me.

Fuck, where is he? Whatever, it’s too late. I’ve got to try and escape. Where do I go? It’s as if anywhere we run they’ll find us. Gunfire erupts. Screams go silent as others amplify. It’s worthless to fight them. They have the weapons. We don’t. We’re stuck running. All I know is they’re out to get us, and we can’t let that happen. Then it’s over. It can’t be just yet. I have to remember who I was before. I have to.

I pick a direction and run. I don’t think about anything, I just go.

I’m still running. I’m not shot. I’m still alive. That’s good. I take a short glance behind my back, and I see nothing , except for destroyed buildings overgrown with dead vegetation. I listen to the wasteland, it sounds normal. It’s an ambience unlike any other, quiet but loud. You hear the wind whistling, and whatever’s still alive scurrying around. Nothing unnatural. That’s good, I’m out of breath, I have to stop for a second. Shit. I can’t believe they have already caught up. I have to find the others. At least someone, hopefully Ben. But for now I’ll hide. It’s too dangerous.

Fuck! I hear someone coming. It could be anyone, even one of them. I try to be as silent as possible, moving into an alleyway, to avoid detection. A voice echoes from somewhere. “Hey, is that you John?”

It’s Ben, I know it is. That voice with grit could only be him. I’ve felt like I’ve heard it my whole life.

“Ben?” I say out loud. I’m glad he’s ok. I’ve found someone, at least not everyone is dead, there’s hope.

“Yes it’s me, I’m behind this wall. I’m glad you made it alive.” Ben utters back. I can’t see him, but I know he is there.

“Me too. They attacked us out of nowhere, how could they find us so quickly?” I speak out loud towards the direction of his voice.

“Who knows, but now it’s irrelevant. We’ve got no time. They’re still right behind us. What you’ve got to do is find the sign that reads E, L, P, R, A, D, O. It will point to where all of us are heading. Something called the San Diego Zoo. I’ll be right behind you to make sure they’re not too close to us. I’ll see you there.” He speaks urgently and fast, but I registered everything he said. I’ve learned to just trust him. Like I said, it’s kept me alive. I hear footsteps pattering off. I guess he’s gone. Time to find that sign.

I found the sign. But as I approached it, I see one of them. The uniform gives it away. They wear black and have a marker on their clothing, some sort of organization thing. All they seem to do is kill. Fuck, what do I do now? I need to get a good look at the sign, but one of them is in my way. I hear Ben from behind me.

“You’ve got to take him out, it’s the only way. I’ll distract him while you steal his gun; then shoot him. You have to, to save both of us.”

Huh, I wonder when he got here too, but I’ll take his word. Fuck it, all of them will kill us with no hesitation; why shouldn’t we do the same? I wait for Ben's distraction.

There’s a loud noise that distracts the man. It’s the signal, I’m sure of it. I walk as quietly as I can, and when I get close enough, I knock his pistol out of his hand. We both jump on top of the gun. But I managed to grab it. I point the gun at the man and shoot twice into his chest, without hesitation. The man looks deep into my eyes as he is dying and utters,

“Why John, why? Now they’re just going to kill you.”

I shoot him once more to shut him up. How did he know my name? They know who I am? Why? What’s so special about me? That’s not good. Whatever, I can’t waste any time. I'm sure they heard the gunshots and are going to converge on me. I get a clear view of the sign, and it has an arrow after it says ‘San Diego Zoo.’ I start running in that direction. I’m wondering where Ben went or if he already got a head start. I hear this loud noise. It’s them, it’s like a horn blaring over and over. I hate it, it’s the most unnatural sound I’ve ever heard. It’s what they use to rally all of them up. Now I have to get to this ‘zoo’ no matter what.

I made it! Somehow I’m here. I don’t see anyone else yet, so I guess I’m the first. It seems like a good enough place to stay at least for a while. Wait. Oh no. I hear the horns closing in on me. They found me. Ben must've fucked me over. God dammit. I thought I could trust him.

“Fuck you, Ben!” I yell as the horns start to blare right beside me.

“I’m sorry.” I hear Ben's voice as if it’s right next to me.

“Where are you?” I yell and start breaking down. Where was Ben? I need him now. I swear that was his voice right next to me. I know I heard it, he needs to tell me what to do, how to survive this nightmare.

There’s no response, I yell again. Nothing. I’m losing it, crying and sobbing. I can see them now point their guns at me. I’m going to die. This is the end.

One of them yells “Police! Come out with your hand up and throw the gun towards us, we do not want to kill you!”

Police huh, that’s their name. I wonder what it means. No time though. I know they’ll kill me either way, might as well kill some of them with me. When I’m about to start shooting, I hear a lady’s voice say my name, “John Demens! I am detective Sarah Fides. We believe you are suffering from a delusion. We will get you the help you need. Just please come out with your hands up.”

“What the fuck are you trying to say, that I’m insane?” I yell back.

I don’t know what they’re trying to pull on me. What the fuck is a detective? She starts to say something else, “You murdered your wife Puella, two days ago and have been on the run since. Today you killed a police officer. We believe you are a paranoid schizophrenic, not in reality, and making up your own world to deal with what you have done. Please listen to me and come out with your hands above your head.”

What kind of horrible game is this? Do they get satisfaction from toying with their kills? I hear Bens voice yet again, “They’re fucking with you, and you know it.”I don’t how he could be talking to me or where he is, but fuck this.

I yell, “Bullshit!” as I pull up my gun and start firing towards them. I see I strike Sarah and one other ‘police’ as they call themselves. As that happens, I hear the gun fire. I've been struck more than several times. I fall. I see my blood. I grab my locket and look one last time. As it all starts to fade, I open it once more. There’s a picture in there now. A picture of a beautiful woman I loved more than anything in this world. It’s Puella, I remember now. Everything goes black, at least I remembered........

—

The very next day news all across the United States came out with this headline; ‘Schizophrenic delusional man murders wife, then kills three police officers in the span of two days before being caught and killed in a standoff with the police.’

......what is real?