Deep Breath

Deep breathes. That’s what people tell you to do when you’re feeling stressed. When you need to calm down. For Shauna, this is a luxury that she hadn’t known for as long as she could remember.

It wasn’t that she’s the sort of person who needs words of reassurance, but taking a deep breathe, it just didn’t feel good.

The air, despite being constantly filtered, just didn’t seem to refresh her body. Not in the way that those older would speak about it. Not that she could remember either.

It had been 20 years since they had fled underground. She was barely a child when it happened and the only memories of the life before are false ones. Like those flashes of images and feelings akin to a parent encouraging you to remember a time before adolescence.

But life in the Compound wasn’t bad. It was routine. Safe. Predictable. Planned. Boring .

It was just that every time she approached her parents or any of the Elders about those fuzzy memories that plagued her mind she was shut down by glaring eyes, generally accompanied with mutterings of “It’s safer this way”.

It seemed that the only person that she could share this so called dangerous obsession with was her friend Philippa. Unlike Shauna, she didn’t share that same feeling. More importantly, unlike the few in the Compound their same age, Philippa never rebuked her for it. Instead she would happily sit and listen. For Philippa, she just felt it was important to let her friend vent. That’s what friends are for after all. Yet like no matter how many times Shauna vented, it was like an itch that wouldn’t go away. Why were they living underground? Why wasn’t it safe? Why was it wrong to ask questions about the time “before”?

Those younger than they were, those that were born in the Compound, they knew didn’t ask. This was the life they were born into, but to Shauna, everything seemed as artificial as the grass they had played on as children. The water tasted stale. The food tasted like cardboard, even the air seemed to be bereft of life.

Yet so many around them seemed content for this existence. “The Walking Dead” Shauna had called them . Shauna had found a book in her father’s locked draw, like no book she had ever seen before. Instead of pages and pages of words and no pictures, this one, not only was it thin and flimsy, but it was exploding with images. Drawings of people that were decaying, yet still somehow alive and attacking people. Ten year old Shauna had nightmares about it . Was this what had happened to their world?

12:15pm sharp.

Lunch break.

Shauna sits in the mess room. Stark white walls. Lifeless florescent tubing illuminate the room. Shauna stabs away at the carefully measured out and sanction servings of what her existence classifies as food. The stainless steel container with its precise amounts of proteins and carbohydrates that each person must consume, more and more unpalatable with each growing day. Philippa slides in beside her, she’s quiet, but unlike Shauna, she seems to be enjoying her food.

Shauna leans in closer to her friend. “Are you sick?”.

Philippa gives a sharp reply, “Nup”.

Shauna spears some of Philippa’s rations and takes a bite. She twists her mouth at the taste.

Philippa feigns being upset at this .“Hey! Eat you own food!”.

Shauna takes a healthy swig of her water. “Thought it may have been your food. That boy who helps in the kitchen, I know he likes you. I thought he might have spiced your-”.

Philippa sternly interrupts. “It’s not Richard”.

The cold silence between the two friends is broken as Philippa leans in, “Eat quickly and meet me beside reclamation unit three. There’s something you have to see before we start the afternoon cycle”. She finishes the rest of her assigned food portions and leaves the table.

Philippa waits at Reclamation Unit Three, using the rock face it rests by to stretch her legs. One of the oldest buildings in the compound, it’s noisy, but it serves the Compound well. Shauna arrives; she’s not excited about this, guessing that another of the Compound’s more eligible bachelors has pledged their undying love. Shauna would feign being happy, again. The constant pattern of their lives. Philippa always had more attention than she did when it comes to this sort of thing. When they were younger it really didn’t bother her, just, these days, it seemed to get more annoying. Shauna was blessed with a more naturally muscular physique, her features, not as refined. Philippa on the other hand, slender arms and legs, long legs, fine cheekbones. Yeah, Shauna is pretty sure this was going to be another one of the boys professing their undying love.

“What is it Philippa?”

Philippa’s response, short, sharp and not what was expected “Stretch with me.”

“What?” replies Shauna.

“Just do it”. Philippa’s tone is abrupt and sharp.

Now Shauna is intrigued. This tone doesn’t indicate a new boy, it’s a Philippa that’s completely foreign to her. Shauna complies, stretching, warming up her limbs as if they’re getting ready for a run. Philippa takes something out of her pants pocket and palms it to Shauna. It’s a locket. Silver, clean, shaped like a heart broken in half with a smaller, golden, fully shaped heart in the centre.

No, it’s a boy, thinks Shauna. “Which one now?”.

Philippa’s demeanour doesn’t alter. “Read it”.

Shauna rolls her eyes, but still turns the locket over. There’s writing engraved on the back. Worn, but visible.

“Follow the path. Veritas Liberabit Vos”. Shauna furrows her brow . “Which boy gave you this?”

Philippa takes back the locket. “None of them”.

Now Shauna’s interest is piqued. Philippa continues, “My father gave it to me. Veritas Liberabit Vos. The truth will set you free.” She hands Shauna small scrap of paper, a neatly handwritten note with a small map, appearing to be details of a pathway past one of the Compound’s ventilation shafts.

Philippa takes the note and starts to walk away. Shauna, stunned for a moment rapidly catches back up as Philippa continues “This place is a lie. Our lives, all of our lives are built on lies. The map leads to a way out of here, to the surface.”

Philippa stops the both of them. “And that I have to find my mother when we get to the surface. She has the other half to this“.

Shauna is stunned “Huh? Find your mother, but-“.

Philippa interrupts “Yeah, my mother isn’t even my real mother, nothing here is real. You always said this place was wrong, but I never truly believed you-”.

Two stop their conversation as two Elders pass them by. The girls throw awkward happy greetings to the Elders as they pass. Shauna picks up the conversation first “What changed? Why did your dad … he is your dad?”

Philippa nods, relieved at that, “Yeah, he is.”. Philippa’s tone darkens, “But he told me because I’m to be married off, start the next generation. My mother gave me the happy news three days ago, she said it was going to be announced at the start of the month and I was to keep quiet”.

Some clues start to dawn on Shauna .

Philippa starts walking again, taking Shauna with her “Dad said after mother decided to marry me off, he couldn’t take it any more.”

Shauna shakes her head, something doesn’t seem to add up . “Sorry Pippa, but your dad stops taking his happy pills because he doesn’t want you married off?”

Philippa stops dead in her tracks, emotions starting to overcome her. “Dad never wanted to be here. Some of the Elders kidnapped him. They needed him to help start a new world. I was the insurance to make sure he cooperated, so he’d stay”.

Shauna is stunned “Jeez, Pippa-”.

Philippa continues, determined. “All that matters is we get out of here. Tonight. Just after power down, meet me back at the reclamation unit. Til then, well, try to act naturally”

“Act naturally, yeah right!”

The girls part ways.

Philippa’s family domicile is as homely as a habitation dome can be. Simple chairs and tables, it’s quite spartan. Philippa and her father, Andy, a kindly man, greying, slightly overweight, finish a small meal at the main table. Philippa’s “mother” Beth, a tall, gaunt, yet imposing woman enters the room. She drops the note with the map on the table.

“Where did you get this Philippa?” Beth’s tone is as sterile as the room.

Philippa is about to answer but her father interrupts. “I gave it to her” Andy stands, placing himself between Philippa and Beth. “It’s over Beth”. Andy turns to Philippa, pushing the note into her hands. Gritting his teeth he whispers to her “Go!”.

Philippa sprints from the domicile, knocking chairs as she goes. Andy, resolute, stands in the way. Beth, her eyes almost devoid of life simply removes a gun from her jacket , her finger calmly tapping on the cool metal of the weapon.

Philippa runs at full speed to the reclamation unit. Shauna is waiting there. She can see that something has happened “Pippa” . Shauna looks over her shoulder “Where’s your dadl?” Philippa is shaking in panic, but resolute. “We have to go. NOW!”.

Philippa and Shauna make their way to an old ventilation grill. It’s loose and able to move just enough for them to squeeze through. Philippa holds the grill. “You first”. Shauna squeezes through, as she gets to the other side, they spot flashlights coming towards them.

Shauna starts to push the grill open “Come on!!”

A light hits Philippa. She knows she’s caught.

Beth’s voice booms, false sweetness poisoning her words. “Philippa, darling. I’m so glad we found you. Your father and I were so worried”.

Shauna whispers desperately “Phill! Come on, we can make it!”

Philippa passes the map, necklace and two glowsticks to Shauna behind her back “Take it, they don’t know you’re here, find my mum, get help”.

Philippa is persistent “Take it”.

Philippa drops the items and cautiously walks to Beth and the group with her, Shauna stays in the shadows.

Shauna can see Philippa marching her way to the figures. Beth, men with guns and Andy, his hands on his head.

Beth’s tone is cold and in control. “You didn’t tell anyone else now did you?”.

Philippa raises her hands in surrender. “No, it’s just me-“.

Philippa is shot clean in the chest, her now lifeless body slumps to the ground. Shauna covers her mouth to supress a scream as her eyes begin to blur.

Beth turns to one of her soldiers “Him too”. Andy shares his daughter’s fate. Shot. “Take their bodies back to the domicile, burn it, make it look like an accident. I have a family to grieve”.

The soldiers drag Philippa and Andy’s body as Beth issues more orders “Check the vent, that’s where she was. If it’s loose, seal it up”.

With trembling hands, Shauna picks up the map, necklace, glowsticks and scrambles away. Fumbling in the darkness, she rounds a corner and snaps a glowstick. The feint glow of red illuminating just enough for her to see the crude map and the rocks around her.

The surface, night time. Covered in dirt, scratches on her bloodied hands, Shauna makes her way out of the cave system. For the first time, she takes a deep breath. The sweetness of the fresh air fills her lungs, the tears that blurred her vision finally spill, everything overwhelming her.

She looks to the sky in wonder. Stars. So long in her memory, but still holding such beauty to her eyes and heart. She clutches onto the necklace, it’s edges digging into her flesh. Her friend must not have died in vain. She spies lights below. Street lights. Civilisation. She knows that everything is about to change.