DEATH

The most confusing moment of my memories is just after death, I remember very well having died. I was 23 years old, I wasn't very sociable but once you knew me, you would like my company, at least that's what I thought. Anyway, I ended my life, I cut my wrists, I could no longer bear the suffering, the rejection and contempt. Nobody appreciated me, I gave everything for everyone and nobody sought me out, they preferred the friendship of others to my friendship. Whenever they needed me, I was there and I always aimed to please and ended up being rejected when they no longer needed me, so I decided to take my life.

I cut my wrists.

At first I had mixed feelings, anger, sadness, pity for myself, then I was scared thinking that hell would be worse, an eternity of torture for not staying here on earth suffering for a few years. In panic I tried to hold the flow of blood but I was losing a lot and very fast, I was getting weak. I begged God for forgiveness, then I let go and died.

There the confusion begins, I felt that all the air left my lungs and my mind was light, my body was light, but it was not my body, it was me leaving my body, there was no pain, I felt as if I was drugged. Millions of images bombarding me at the same time, I have no control of my thoughts, little by little the images were diminishing. I began to experience my whole life at the same time, I was in the present, past and future. Time ceased to exist, I traveled through time as if I was walking through the rooms of a house. But I couldn't do anything, I couldn't interact with anyone but I could see and hear. I don't know how long I was like this but overall, time was irrelevant.

I saw my friends crying at my funeral. . . hypocrites My mother was inconsolable, sorry mom, you would not understand, you always told me not to pay so much attention to these matters but you did not know how much I was suffering, perhaps now you do. I decided to travel through my life and see everything that made me make this decision, I saw how each one was more interested in another person than in me and how they looked for me only when they needed me, it was not fair. I relived those moments of my life over and over again, to justify the decision I made, but I didn't realize that I was doing it to other people too. I had friends who looked for me and helped me but I rejected them for seeking attention from those who did not deserve it.

I'm sorry that I didn't realize it earlier and that I was so selfish with them but, the most I regret is how much I rejected my mother even after my father abandoned us. I didn't talk to her when she asked, I locked myself in my room without talking to her, focusing only on my problems while she went to bed crying. She was suffering longer than me and it was a greater suffering, mine was childish. I would like to go back and amend all that, give value to those who deserve it and be by my mother's side again, but it is too late. I repeat the time was irrelevant, I did not feel tired, hungry, thirsty or sleepy, which are some indicators of the elapsed time.

I decided to clear myself and thought that I always wanted to see Japan, suddenly I started moving at an extremely fast speed and appeared in Japan in less than a second. I was able to experience humanity from the beginning to the end, I do not know where I am storing information since I do not have a physical body, I mean, I do not have a brain to store information, but I do not forget anything that I see or hear, I can relate human life from beginning to end.

A buzzing sound is heard.

There was no final judgment, apocalypse, ragnarok, or anything like that since in all human history I did not see a single deity. I am no longer that human being who committed suicide, now I am a totally different being, I learned to manipulate time, space and matter. I know how to decompose matter to its simplest form and create new matter out of that. I understand all the secrets of the universe, I know the name of each one of the human beings that have existed, each one of the stars and planets, I know all the inhabited planets, I have seen their creation and their destruction. I can see the moment of my death I can avoid it but I do not do it because that would cause me to disappear and I would forget all this also I no longer feel anything for any of them and the reason for my suicide is nothing more than a necessary act for me to become what I am now. I am sure that a simple human brain cannot withstand a thousandth of the information that I have.

I was able to witness the beginning of the universe, since there is no time I can see the beginning and the end of the universe, the curious thing is that once one universe ends, another begins but exactly the same thing happens and I cannot alter its course. I have traveled the entire universe I have traveled so far that I can see the universe from outside, from nowhere. So I call the space outside the universe, nothingness. I have traveled faster than light through nothingness and nothing follows. The microsecond that the universe ends and it will begin again, what there is, is nothingness.

I am alone.

What is that murmur I hear?

There is no other being here. I have noticed that I do not have all the answers. Where are the other people who die? Every second on earth people die. Where are they? Every second on every habitable planet people die. Where are they? Because I'm just watching this. Will I be invisible to others and they invisible to me? Why can't I manipulate nothingness? Am I locked in the universe? Is it a punishment for committing suicide? If so, where are the others who have committed suicide? I am infinite? Immortal? Is there anything after this? I have seen the beginning and the end of the universe, I have been in and out of black holes, I have created stars and planets. I need to avoid my death, I don't know what would happen. I will leave these memories engraved on a steel plate in the room where I committed suicide, leaving clear clues of where it is and what it is, I will avoid my suicide and I will know my adventure after death.

I am seeing that moment just before committing suicide I appear before me and tell him not to do it, he sees me and drops the knife, but falls dead to the floor of a heart attack. I go back to that moment again, I appear in the form of my mother to avoid suicide, I am scared when I see her stumble and fall to the floor, my head hits the edge of the bed and I die from the concussion. I have seen my death in hundreds of different ways, apparently I have to die. I don't understand what is happening, I can do everything except this. It is true that nobody is ever satisfied, I can do everything except manipulate nothingness and prevent my death.

I have already seen everything I have already tried everything, I have visited the earth trying to avoid certain events and they are inevitable, I have visited other planets alive to do the same and it is useless. Time is not a straight, but it is unchangeable, you can travel through it but you cannot change its course. I thought I was omnipotent and having this kind of power would be great, but I'm not omnipotent since I can't do more than I have done so far and I don't know everything either.

How do I get out of this existence?

The hum that became a murmur now seems like distant voices.

I was completely insignificant when I was human, what made me become what I am now? I don't have a body, I am pure consciousness. I do not know how long it will last but if time existed I would say that millions of years have passed. I travel through time, I am a being from the fourth dimension, I manipulate time, will there be beings from the fifth dimension? The voices! I use my full concentration to eliminate all sounds other than voices.

Nothing

The voices are no longer heard

I already know how to get out of this existence, I will stop being a conscience. I go to the microsecond between the end and the beginning of the universe, I enter the exact point where the big bang will begin and I will accelerate the time to be one with the explosion and that my consciousness is spread throughout the entire universe. In this way I will not be anything specific but at the same time I will be in everything, I will have no conscience, in a sense, I will commit suicide again.

Ready

* BANG *

Impressive, I thought there was no more, that no more could be done.

I am the universe. No, I am the laws that govern the universe, now I am the one who decides what happens, when it happens and how it happens. I am beyond time, beyond the fourth dimension. I know all the possible conclusions of each event, no matter how minimal. I just started as a universe and I already know how I'm going to end. Billions of years have passed in a second, I know the actions of even the smallest fly on a small island in the Caribbean, I know how all their possible actions are going to affect the whole world.

While I was in the fourth dimension I could see myself in the third dimension, but while I was in the third dimension I had no idea that I also existed in the fourth dimension. I don't see myself in the fourth dimension, wait, yes, I see myself, I am like a small almost invisible cloud. While he was in the fourth dimension, he had no idea that he existed in the fifth. Not only can I manipulate time, I can also manipulate events to my liking I can see all inhabited planets at once, I am omnipresent. I can avoid wars, I can even manipulate the free will of living beings. I am more inclined to humans because I was once human.

The voices have returned.

I am everything except the nothing, maybe nothing will be the sixth dimension? How many dimensions are there? I have fallen into the same dilemma again, I still do not have all the answers. I have already tried everything except to prevent my death and now I have the power to do it, I know all the possible consequences of each event except when they have to do with my being. I want answers, what if I do? I think this is about finding the answers, will I continue to grow as an entity, will I cease to exist or will I continue my life as a human?

Do it

Says a strange voice

I do it, I decide to intervene at the moment of my death, I commit suicide in the third dimension, I cease to exist in the fourth dimension and now I am about to destroy the continuity of time and space. The moment I am going to commit suicide, I stop time and take the knife from my being in the third dimension and I leave a note telling him what I am now and what I am trying to do. I beg you not to commit suicide to see how all this unfolds. Time runs again, my being in the third dimension is surprised not to have the knife in his hand and finds the note. While he is reading it I begin to have the same bombardment of thoughts, everything begins to shake, the universe begins to behave out of my control I have no control of my being, I am no longer the universe. When my being in the third dimension finishes reading, a very bright light begins to come out from the center of the, also within the center of my being in the fourth dimension and also from the very center of the universe. The light begins to grow rapidly, the light is nothing, nothing is consuming me. What did I do? Nothingness keeps growing until everything is nothing.

I am the nothing, the name could not be more wrong, I am everything, everything comes out of me. I am the infinite space beyond the universe, I can create universes within myself, wait . . . that’s it, I have created myself in all the previous dimensions. I have the power to create everything, if I was the universe it means that I myself was created by me. I have the power of the third, fourth and fifth dimensions in addition to the power of creation. I have created thousands of parallel universes at the same time and see how each one ends up changing tiny events. Before I could manipulate matter and create matter from other matter, but now I create matter from nothing. I can manipulate time and events like I did in the fifth. I have more answers than before but I don't have all the answers yet, because only I died to become this? Where is the conscience of other people who die?

Everything indicates that this is the last thing, there is no apparent evidence to get out of this existence and I have no reason to get out of here. I have infinite power and wisdom, I am going to create a universe in my own way, I want to make a universe where peace rules and create a land to inhabit it when they need me, as a leader of peace but active. Every time you need me to be able to answer your requests with wisdom and omnipotence, using a criterion of peace and harmony. I will allow and make interplanetary travel accessible, I will have a personal relationship with each of the living beings.

I have been doing this for millions of years, humanity and every other being I created, has never prospered in that way, there are no prejudices, there are no wars, it is a paradise, each of the habitable planets is a paradise. I have given the inhabitants the option that when they die they can be reborn with the same knowledge they had when they died, or be born in another country. I have managed to make living beings consider themselves equal. No planet has borders, everyone can call any place their home. I also don’t want them worshiping me, I do this for them, seeing everyone at peace is my reward.

The voices

The voices are many now, I thought that the voice I was hearing was mine in the other different dimensions but no. There is something else, I hear them more clearly, they are saying that it is time. They call me by my name softly. The same thought bombardment again and they call me back I suddenly feel like I’m falling really fast then a light, very bright, now darkness.

I feel a slight breeze. How can I feel the breeze if I don't have a physical body. Was I asleep?

The voice tells me, "Open your eyes."

I open my eyes, I can't believe it was a dream, I'm in a field, the sun, the breeze, everything is perfect. The strangest thing is that I remember the whole dream, how is this possible, I remember the millions and millions of years that I spent what I did, what I learned. Could it be that I was born in one of the worlds that I created? It cannot be, it is not possible that a simple human brain has the capacity for so much information. No, I am not human, I am not breathing my eyes are adapting to the place and I begin to see the vegetation and the view is spectacular. I begin to hear the wind moving leaves from the trees, waves crashing against the stones, a melody. I can't move yet, I want to move my head to look at my body.

Some beings approach me but they do not seem human, it seems as if they are floating in the air, when I see them more closely, I notice that they have a human-like face with different features, especially the lack of a nose. They do not appear to be dressed but neither do they appear to have genitalia, none appears to be a male or a female, they have bodies similar to human but with some animal characteristics. As they both approach, they are smiling and without moving her lips, one of the beings say,

"welcome."

I can't speak, I can't move my mouth or my lips, what's wrong with me? What are they doing with me?

One of them tells me "don't try to speak with your mouth, you don't have vocal cords" organize your thinking and express it. "

"Where am I" I manage to say with a little effort. "In your new home, you have just been born" He tells me subtly. I am trying to analyze the situation but I cannot understand and I ask him "How can I just be born if I have been traveling through dimensions and creating for millions of years?"

“Yes, that is the natural process of a fetus, I poured a little of my creative energy next to this tree and some others poured out a little of their creative energy too and the result was a new life. . . you.

Each fetus begins like this, develops its mind little by little and has to go through six dimensions. This process can be repeated over and over again until the fetus achieves real peace and benevolence. Once the fetus becomes a benevolent entity which can treat the tiniest part of its creation with affection, then it is born. What were millions of years for you, were mere instants for us. "

Now I understand, that's why everything seemed unreal since I went through the human process. "What is our purpose?" asked. He answers me, "To be happy, we are creators, you can create whatever you want, talk to anyone, do whatever you want, this is a place of pure energy" At that moment their physical body disappears and they are like spirits. He tells me “come, you just have to think about traveling and you travel, you can create a planet for yourself, a body and enjoy a swing like when you were a child, recreate your mother and live happily with her, your friends, everything you experienced. you can experience it again. "

I ask both of them "Are you my parents?" she answers “yes, we are all your parents, but that does not mean that what you went through in your human stage was not real, it was.

Now, you are free to do what you want. Enjoy.