Death and Beth

I remember thinking about death alot when I was a kid. Maybe it is because I grew up watching..."it"...all happen. I suppose that thinking about death wasn't all that uncommon before the great calamities. Hell, you read Shakespeare and you think everyone had a boner for death.

But, I like to think-really I like to pretend- that my thoughts were different somehow. That I had a more realistic perspective on it. I thought about death but always in a romanticized sort of way. I imagined that I was there during the great earthquake of '34. That I heroically gave my life to help as the nation literally split in half. Or that I was there as the Great Flames burned up the wheat fields. Sometimes, I'd even imagine that I was there at the Genesis event. I thought how great it would be to fight and die as one of the first soldiers in the war for humanity. So, you know, a normal teenager.

I never wanted to die in a bar. But here I am.

I clicked on my Omni-watch. 22:30 popped out of the holographic screen along with a basic display of my vitals. My radiation levels were higher which ordinarily would have frightened me. But, I was going to die anyways.

"Hey, Al, you want anything or you just gonna keep staring at the beer?"

I glanced up at Ol' Moria, the proprietor of this, the only bar in the entirety of Sector 3. Sector 3's regional governor was a real tight ass when it came to booze, sex, basically anything. Can't save humanity with a hangover was the old motto. Still, Ol' Moria managed to slip by. Maybe, she got a sympathy pass, since she was infected and all.

The right side of her face looked normal enough, kinda pretty I supposed. The left side was all over-grown with growths and splotches of pale white skin. A sure sign she'd been infected with the Genesis Virus. In earlier generations, people like Moria would have been thrown into quarantine and burned alive. But enough activists raised enough of a racket that the infected were allowed back into society.

When I first met Moria, I was scared and disgusted. Now, she's the closest thing to a friend I have. Besides, I'd seen enough disgusting shit outside the Sector wall that Moria looked positively beautiful to me.

"No, I'm just...I don't...I'm sorry," I muttered in response. Moria stopped what she was doing and came closer.

"You went outside the wall today, didn't you?" She asked, a sympathetic look in her remaining eye. "What happened?"

"It was a drill...'supposed to be anyways. We got jumped by a..." I paused for a moment. It was hard talking to Moria about my job. Technically, I was a soldier, defending humanity from the horrors beyond the walls. But that also involved hunting and killing the Gene-Zombies: the final stage of Genesis Infection. Moria was one of the lucky few who managed to get the Genesis vaccine before the reserves were destroyed. Still, I hunted and killed creatures that were once people, just like Moria.

"You were doing your job," Moria said for me.

"Y-yeah. Anyways, we were losing...bad. So, I ordered a retreat. Sergeant Gearson disagreed and tried to get the men to keep fighting. I ran and most of the others did too. Now, Gearson's not happy," I explained. I left out most of the sordid details: namely Gearson promising to kill me before the day was over.

"Hey, what the hell do you have to do to get some service around here!" Came the call of another angry patron. Moria unleashed a volley of curses before turning back to me.

"Hey, don't let it get under your skin. You made the right call and that blowhard...well he'll just have to get over it," she said, giving me a reassuring smile. I took a swig of my drink in order to hide my grimace. She didn't know Gearson like I did. I'd be dead before the night was over. I was sure.

"Hey, is this a bar or a therapy parlor!" Came the voice of the other patron, this time much angrier. Moria rolled her eyes before leaving me to tend to the other patron.

This is how I'm gonna die...in a bar...listening to someone yelling about alcohol...hurray.

I allowed my eyes to wander over to the other patron. Her radiation coat was black, which took me off-guard. Most radiation coats were either white or blue. If you worked in the wall guard, your radiation coat was camo, like mine. But her's was pitch black.

Aside from that though, she was, all things together, attractive. I had been saving myself for Marjane when I eventually got back to Sector 4...but that wasn't going to happen. I would be dead by the end of the day; I was never going to see her again.

"Hey," I said, giving a small wave.

"Hi," she replied, mimicking my gesture.

Musting up my courage, I shifted closer to her.

"I'm Al," I said, extending a hand. She gave me a weary look before slipping the drink which Moria had recently placed in front of her.

"Diana," she replied, taking another drink. I lowered my hand but managed to put up a pleasant smile.

"Nice to meet you," I cleared my throat searching for another topic. "So, what brings you to Sector 3?"

Diana took another long sip of her drink.

"What makes you think I don't live here?" She asked.

"Well, no offense but you don't come to Sector 3 unless you're a soldier or an organ harvester...and you don't really look like an organ harvester to me," I answered, trying my best to sound charming. Diana looked me up and down for a moment before speaking.

"Alright, you've caught me, soldier boy...I'm here on personal business."

I got the distinct feeling that she didn't want to go into the details of her "personal business”, so I dropped it. I opened my mouth to speak again but she cut me off.

"Look, you seem like a nice enough guy, but I did come all the way here to be smooth talked in a bar...especially by a depressed lug like you," Diana said, before finishing off her drink. She had cut right through all my clout and pierced my heart. I was only putting of the inevitable.

"Sorry," I muttered. I figured I should get out of here before Gearson showed up and made a mess out of Moria's pub. I pulled out about 50 units worth of cash cards and placed them in front of Diana before standing up.

"You should try out the Cagan Pie. One of Sector 3's delights," I offered. Diana looked up at me.

"Hey, you don't have to go," she said. "Besides, I don't like to be in debt to people."

I just shook my head before heading toward the door.

"See ya later," Moria called after me. I would really miss her.

Just as a reached the door, a force threw me back, sending me crashing into the floor. Dazed, I looked up to see Gearson standing above me. My flight or fight instinct took over as I tried to push past him. However, he threw me against the ground with a single mighty blow. Gearson placed his boot on my chest, preventing me from trying to run away.

"Heya Al," He muttered with a sickly grin. He reached inside his radiation coat and pulled out a massive pistol. “You missed the briefing...can't have that kind of insubordination."

"Gearson..."I managed to sputter before he ground his boot into my chest.

"You will refer to me as either Sergant or Sir! Is that understood!" He barked. I was scared-terrified-but I wouldn't let him see it.

"Just get it over with!" I screamed as loud and defiant as I could muster. Gearson replied by lifting his boat before pressing it back into my chest.

"What did I just say, Corporal," he growled. "It's people like you that brought down this great country...with your insubordination and cowardice."

He switched of the safety of his gun before pointing it right between my eyes. I closed my eyes, desperately thrashing my arms and legs.

"Well, no-one will care what happens to one grunt out in the wasteland," I heard Gearson mutter. This was not how I wanted to die but I suppose no-one ever dies the way they want to.

BLAM

I felt the weight come off my chest. At first, I thought it was because I didn't have a body anymore. Then, I realized that I was sore. Opening my eyes, I realized that I was still alive. I looked behind me to see Diana standing there, a small pistol smoking in her hand. Looking back, I saw Gearson clutching his shoulder, blood leaking out from under his radiation coat. His gun had landed next to my foot. I hastily backed up until my head crashed against the bar. I looked up and I realized Diana was smiling. She sauntered forward until she stood over Gearson.

"Who the hell..."Gearson began before he suddenly stopped seeing her face. "Beth."

Diana or Beth looked at him with slight cock of her head.

"Long time no see," she said, keeping her gun level with his head. "You know why I'm here."

Gearson scowled for a moment before giving her a snarl.

"Dunno...maybe your here to enlist. Maybe do something useful with your life, Beth."

She responded by knocking him to the ground with a quick kick.

"Mom’s necklace, now!" She said, allowing her gun to lower until it was pointed directly between his legs. "Or else."

Gearson paused for a moment before reaching under his radiation coat. He pulled out a small heart shaped necklace. It was a simple piece of jewelry which I'd notice him wearing before. He snapped it off of his neck and tossed it to Beth. She grabbed it out of the air and quickly placed it inside her coat.

"You know, you'd make your mother real unhappy," Gearson said, his face grimacing from the pain of his wound.

"Don't talk to me about her...you lost that right," Beth spat back. She fired her gun at the floor between Gearson's legs. With one final look of contempt, she walked back over to the bar. She reached into her radiation coat and pulled out a massive collection of cards. She dropped them on the bar stool.

"Sorry about all this," she said to Moria, who'd long since taken cover behind the bar. Beth then looked down at me for a moment. She looked like she was going to say something but didn't. Instead, she just started toward the door. Just as she reached the door, she looked back down at Gearson with a look of utter contempt. And then, she left.

Silence occupied the entire bar for a moment. Then, I felt this strange feeling, a feeling I'd never felt before. I wanted to be alive. With a lunge, I grabbed Gearson's gun off of the ground.

"H-hey Al...wait...let's just," Gearson began.

"Get out," I ordered.

"Y-you can't do this to me. I'm your superior officer!" Gearson growled.

"Get out now!" I ordered again.

He stared at me with a look of utter contempt. And then, he turned and walked out.

I remember thinking a lot about death. But, whenever I think about death, now I imagine Beth...or Diana...or whatever her name was. But, whenever I think about death, I remember her. And suddenly, I think about being alive. And that's all that matters to me. The world's gone to hell but I'm alive and that's what matters.