Days of Future Past

For this Story-a-Day, January 22, 2024, I wrote it (will write?) on January 23, which on January 22, is (was?) the future. I had hit writer's block. I was empty.

And I was frantic. I had been doing so well. But a story a day is a bit of a challenge (hence, it being a challenge).

So, here I am, on the 23 day of the challenge, writing for the 22nd. As if I really did. Who can I fool with this slight-of-hand cardshuffling anyway?

Here goes... and remember, it's today, not yesterday, written tomorrow as if it were now, back then. Whoo, I'm a bit dizzy.

There was a man who lived in Massachussets who had missed his deadline. Being the conniving type, he wracked his brain over and over on how to sidestep his shortcoming.

"If only I had a time machine!" he grieved.

And then it occurred to him. You're not a flat-Earther; look at the globe, stupid!

And so he did. He had a globe in his study and gave it a spin. He noted that the good down-under folks in Australia were on the other side of the Intational Date Line.

Why, they're in a different day, he thought.

He consulted his computer and searched for newspapers in Australia. Settling on the Sydney Morning Herald, he clicked the link and quickly subscribed. After all, it's a free trial. How can I lose?

He found a clever, witty, even satiric item in the newbriefs and blocked and copied and pasted it into his word processor. He whittled it down to the requisite 360 words.

It was a tragic story about a baby. Oh, how horrible and tragic it was! And how nasty are dingos! Sure to get readers engaged. He heard Top Story chatter in his mind. And since it was a story from a whole different day, who could cry foul in the USA, today? Was plagiarism that hadn't happened yet plagiarism?

He posted it. SUCCESS! He was back up-t0-date. Then he saw the comments.

Did you think that going to tomorrow got you off the hook for yesterday? Which direction across the Date Line did you think you were going? Now you're two days behind. Idiot.