Dark and Deserted Places

The staircase creaked under her black buckled shoe. She froze despite the blood and illness swimming through her. The young girl's weight betrayed her, and she waited for the attack. Clutching her stomach, she reached out to balance herself on the adjacent wall. But this action did not help, for the whole house was in motion—drawn-out moans and lifeless rasps emanated from the walls and rattling floorboards.

Nevertheless, she dared to pause, trying to remain in her body. For there, not five steps away rested the second floor's landing. A knowing voice whispered inside, "The boy is there, the chosen one. The one they love most." 


She continued her climb as her wet hair prickled the edges of her cheeks like icy fingertips, reminding her of how she came to such a place. Trying to muster up what little will she had left, she mouthed to herself with blueing lips, "Make no sound, make no sound." Until finally, she reached the landing where a wall faced her, a hallway tempted her, and a small window bathed her in creeping light. Before continuing, she nearly turned to check the staircase, but if the man were there, he would kill her on the spot, and his eyes would be the last thing she would see. The eyes the girl loathed most of all. So instead, she peered to her right, where the long hallway opened before her like a gaping throat. 


"If death comes, let it come as a surprise," she thought. "May my love be the last thing I see." 


She closed her eyes, waiting. The dripping of her soaked clothes gathered at her feet into a puddle. She shivered as her eyes opened. The sound of each drip grew louder the longer she stood transfixed by a set of doors at the dark end of the hall. Then, to her surprise, she found herself walking. As she did, she noticed the marbled eyes of multiple life-like forest creatures stuffed and displayed on small shelves lining the high walls. All frozen in moments of panic, cowering in fear with mouths agape. She could almost hear their cries and screeches. She nearly began to cry herself until she reached the center of the hall where the head of a lioness lay mounted. The creature's eyes remained transfixed, as if on its prey, jaw clenched, and face wrinkled with rage. Here, the girl stood, tears running but without a single whimper. She became aware of how cold she felt as her hot tears fell. 


Stepping back from the bust, she felt the dance of the house and its shifting scratchy walls once again. A sickly warmth in her stomach caused her to stumble, but she managed to steady herself, for something caught her eye. Like a wreath, the body of a bright green serpent adorned the base of the lioness's bust. The girl reached out and ran her fingers across its scales until she found its head, which lay tucked behind the right ear of the beast. The snake's expression was noticeably calmer than all of the other creatures. Its fixed eyes focused intently on the dark end of the hall. Suddenly, the warmth that once made her feel sick spread to her ears and toes. Newfound courage guided her to follow the serpent's gaze. Resting in the shadows, the girl could make out three doors occupying different walls. One of them held him, the boy. She looked straight at the snake and pressed her cheek against the wall. Its head sat at a slight angle. As she turned back around to face the hallway, the door on the far left seemed to be exactly where the snake was facing. She stole one last glance at the green serpent's eyes before pursuing her destination. The girl thought about how furious her parents would be if they knew she followed the guidance of a snake. Gripping the doorknob, she whispered, "But they are not here." And with that, she pushed the door open.


As it swung inward, the door did not make a sound. Peering inside, she remained unmoving under its frame. The space, lit by a single dying candle, was dense with a speckled blackness. The only thing she could make out was a copper tray the candle rested in, which sat on the floor in the center of the room. Not even the light from the hall seemed to shift any shadow. A tremble ran through her as she stepped into the space. Taking each step with care, she gritted her teeth to stop them from chattering. Refusal to turn back knotted in her chest despite the feeling of being surrounded. The darkness appeared textured and alive as it brushed the tiny hairs on her arm. She felt as if it watched her loop her fingers through the handle of the polished tray. The flame danced as she held it up.


A worry crept over her as something blinked at her from the dark. "Did the serpent betray me?" As soon as it vanished, her ears sharpened to the silence, which was loud and restrained. "Did the beast tempt me to fall into the man's clutches?" She turned, seeking the 'something' as a warm pressure settled in her ears and nose. Pain shot through her head, causing her to stumble. She leaped back, immediately startled by a sudden presence. Turning, she illuminated the figure by candlelight, and to her horror, a human face looked back at her, still and unblinking.

Like the taxidermy covering the walls of the hall, a child stood unmoving with stuffing falling out of their loosened jaw. The girl covered her mouth to stop her building screams as her candlelit the faces of two more children, then three more. She counted thirteen stuffed children surrounding her. All younger than her, they stood frozen in the moments just before their deaths. Yet, unlike the animals, these children were jovial with wide grins and open mouths not filled with screams, but laughter—statuettes, forgotten in moments of play. Hands once clapping in delight, feet once dancing with joy, now nothing. As she twisted amongst the dolls, there in the corner was the boy. His back was facing her, and before she knew it, her hand was on him, turning him to meet her. It was too late. He fell to the floor with a soft thud, his blank eyes looking up at her. She knelt next to him, setting the candle down and resting her hand against his lifeless face as she spoke.


"Why must we fail each other?" 


Her lip trembled as her eyes blurred with tears. Ceaseless sobs rattled up her throat, and with it came her curses.


"I feel you near, murderer of dreams!"


At this, two eyes opened in the darkness, the whites of them unblinking. The girl lifted her head, looking straight at them. She spoke:


"May you be silenced as I have been! May you be forgotten as I have been!"

The eyes, delighted, sparkled like two pools of lake water, and her heart burned.

"We do not belong here!"

The eyes closed, and a pain like no other coursed through the girl. She gasped and gripped her stomach. Something spread inside her like a climbing flame. Then without warning, it subsided, and she collapsed on the boy's chest. As she breathed deeply, a slow, almost inconceivable sound thumped beneath her ear. She sat up and lifted him into her arms.

"I will keep him alive!" She shouted into the darkness.

There was no use in being silent. The man knew where she was. To her surprise, the boy was light enough to tuck under her arm, so she took him and began to run toward the open door. Suddenly, her throat began to burn as she coughed. But she continued her sprint until the pain shot through her like tiny pins and needles stabbing her insides, causing her to fall face first, launching the boy into the air. His stiff body skidded across the floorboards. She coughed hard as a sickly heat ran up her legs and lungs. Laying there, she waited for the pain to pass, but there was no time. A drawn-out cry echoed from somewhere nearby.

The man was coming. She got to her feet, limped toward the boy, and picked him up. The lit doorway was just a few steps away. Her hair stood on end as she looked over her shoulder to what sounded like soft giggles. Facing the door, she noticed a shadow scuttled past the light in a blink. With a sudden jolt, she ran as fast as she could. The moment she passed through the threshold, something grasped her ankle. She looked down. At her feet was one of the stuffed children, smiling up at her with clumps of glue gathered at the corners of its blank eyes and rosy cheeks. With the boy still in hand, she swiftly kicked the child at her feet back into the room and slammed the door closed. Her heart thumped hard against her chest as she held the doorknob tightly. Cold sweat trailed across her skin from the pain. Soft giggles and the pattering of tiny feet came from the other side of the door. In a moment of catching her breath, she realized the children were not laughing but whimpering. Pity burrowed into her chest. She looked down at her beloved's face and kept moving through the hall.

"The things I do for you," she said bitterly.

Then suddenly, she coughed into her free hand. A splattering of blood and cotton rested in her palm. She tried to swallow, but it was impossible.

"You should've stayed in your room," said a voice nearby. It was the man.

The girl wiped her mouth, not looking at him. Only his shadow moved into view as the man walked closer to her.

"Look at you. You're so embarrassing," he said timidly.

Head still bowed, she remained rooted in her spot, breathing heavily.

"Nothing seems to ever go right for you, does it?" he said. The sound of his fingertips running across the wallpaper rubbed against her eardrums. She winced and gritted her teeth. But she still dared not look at him.

"I've kept you safe for a long time, haven't I? Aren't you uncomfortable in this state? Remember how it feels in your special room? So friendly. So familiar. Why don't you come with me? Look at you. You're already turning back into how I like you."

The girl looked at her stiffening legs and put her hand to her burning throat.

"See? You know where you belong. I am here to aid you. Why don't you let me finish you off and set you back on your shelf? Just look at your friends here."

His shadow gestured to the wall of creatures stuffed and lifeless.

"Relax into my arms, and I will protect you. Your suffering comes from your struggle."

The man sighed and inched closer. "Poor thing. Don't you remember? You're the one who made this mess in the first place."

Then, without thought or reason, she growled at the man. He hesitated before continuing, "Now, now! We both know what happens when you try to resist, don't we? I wasn't the one who made him, you know."

She growled again, louder this time, and wrinkled her nose.

"I'm going to eat you up…" the girl heard herself say, baring her teeth.

There was a long pause. Then the man began to reach out to her. "You are just my doll! You have no teeth to bare…."

But the man was cut off. Instead, the girl heard a scream, then a sputtering sound. She looked up, and what she found shocked her. The mounted lioness head held the man's neck in her mouth. He howled and struggled at her clenching jaw as the girl inched her way past his flailing legs. She peered into the lioness's eyes, which swam with bloodthirst and rage.

How long ago had the man trapped the lioness? How long did she have to wait to have her vengeance? The girl wondered as she began to sprint to the staircase.

The man reached out one of his long arms and caught the girl's hair in a tight grip. She screamed and dropped the boy's body, which tumbled down the stairs. Pain shot through her scalp as the man began pulling her toward him. Suddenly, the man let go, and she fell to the floor with a loud thud. Sitting up, she saw the green body of the serpent wrap itself around the man's arm and bite down hard onto his hand. The yellow eyes of the snake focused on her, willing her to keep going. The girl got to her feet and took in the sight of the convulsing man, whose whole form rippled and wretched as it melted away. With a life of their own, his disembodied legs stumbled into the opposing wall as they ripped from the beasts' mouths. The girl flew down the stairs, picking up the boy as she did. The house trembled and slid under her feet as she ran for the front door. The loud footsteps of the man echoed from the stair. Without warning, she was pushed to the ground by an invisible force. Two small eyes opened up in the space between her and the exit. Screams were coming from all around her, saying:

"He doesn't want to be saved! He chose this, because of you! He doesn't love you!"

The sound of footsteps came up right behind her, and a pair of legs attached to a growing torso leaped over her head. Dancing sand-like particles swirled around the floating eyes whipping through the girl's hair, whistling in her ears and stinging her skin.

"Everything she is is wrong! She has to stay inside! She is scared! Look at her! She wouldn't last five minutes in the realm of the living!"

The eyes moved close to the girl as a face began to stitch together from the particles. So familiar, the eyes, the color of gloom and water.

"You must remain in the dark, or they will see you and hate you!"

A hand materialized at her throat and squeezed.

"You are deserted here!"

The girl screamed. Long and unwavering, her voice traveled through the whole house. She did not cry out of fear but out of anger. Without thought, the girl launched herself forward through the man's still-forming body. Then, with the boy in hand, she twisted and used his body to hit the man to the ground. Taking deep breaths between each scream, the girl cried out again, and again, and again "I will no longer be hidden for your sake!"

Suddenly, a rumbling came from the floors above. Like a stampede, the rest of the stuffed creatures came storming down the staircase, their screeches and the girl's screams becoming one. They swarmed the man, devouring his body and removing his tongue in their wake. The girl turned from the gruesome scene and exited through the front door. She looked out at the world around her as she crossed the steps into the desert landscape. The boy became increasingly heavier in her arms with every step.

A warm wind whipped her hair and clothes as a stiffening pain quivered through her joints, making it harder to manage the shifting sands. But her focus remained on a high point of a tall dune, where the eery light of the dark sky illuminated its surface in a somber motion. A moan rose from the boy's mouth, and he sank from her arms to the ground. The girl grabbed his arm and dragged him to his feet. With her help, they made it to the surface of the sky. She reached out a finger to the hazy glow, and it rippled at her touch. He collapsed to the ground gasping for air. Kneeling next to him, she rested her hand against his chest and said softly, "Breathe with me."

Together they breathed in and out. The girl turned away and coughed. Reaching into her mouth, she pulled out a tangled clump of cotton. She didn't have much time, so, got to her feet and lifted him.

"I'm sorry…." said the boy.

She looked down at his slumped head. "I know. Why do you think I came to find you."

He moaned. "No, I am sorry for putting you there."

She could feel herself become stiffer by the second "You had to."

He began to sob. The girl lifted him to the sky, and his legs floated into the waters above. "I can't go back!" he said. His eyes went wide, and he gripped onto her so tightly. "I can't do it! I can't carry on like this anymore."

Her face moved slowly into a smile as they were face to face. "Then love me and live."

"I'm afraid! I don't know you!" he said to her.

"Those eyes we loath are not going anywhere…." she replied. Tears streamed down the boy's face"…but neither am I."

Her tears suddenly clumped at the corners of her eyes like trails of glue as she released him, and she solidified. The boy kicked and struggled as he plunged into the murky depths. Surrounded by water and darkness, he burst out onto a rocky beach. Flashing lights hurt his head as he blinked in and out. Unfamiliar arms picked him up. A pressure burst from his throat, and everything went black.

Beep…beep…beep…

A soft tickle on their forearm brought attention back to the body.

Beep…beep…beep.

Eyes fluttered open to the foot of a bed and a hospital room before them.

Beep…beep…beep….

They turned to the machine's noise and then to either side of their bed, where a woman and man rested. Focusing on their mother's hand, they felt her thumb gently pet their arm. Light from a large window dusted the two parents in age and sorrow. Feeling the stillness, they decided to observe, knowing the pending storm that would ensue. Then, closing their eyes, they saw her, the girl. She stood full of life before the house he built to keep her inside, hand in hand with a small child and a hunched crying shadow, which blinked tears from its lake water eyes.

"Charlie?"

Their eyes opened at the sound of their name. Their mother hugged them. Their father watched in a teary-eyed temper with arms crossed and chin down. Their mother pulled away, but held on to them still. Her chin trembled—her eyes were framed with joy but full of hurt. The two parents held one thing in common: a question—a question no one in that hospital room wanted to answer. There was a long pause until their mother broke the silence in a shaky voice.

"How are you?"

Charlie said nothing. After another pause, their mother chanced the question, "Why…why did you do it?"

"Stop!" Shouted their father. Their mother burst into further sobs.

Tears trailed Charlie's cheeks as they closed their eyes. The deserted place was all around them, and the shadow's cries grew louder, but the girl was still there.

"We are in charge now," she said to the shadow.

The shadow whimpered in shock. The girl trembled, and the child gripped her tightly. She said, "Go on, my love…Do it."

Charlie opened their eyes to their parents. "I'm afraid that's why I jumped. Their throat and chest hurt as they spoke. "I'm afraid I can only belong if I continue to be someone you understand."

Their mother gripped their hand tightly and said fiercely, "You're our boy!"

Charlie's whole body shook. "I'm not. I'm not a boy."

To escape her parents, Charlie shut her heavy eyelids into sleep. There in her dreams, the house burst into flames, illuminating the desert and those seated near it. The shadow screamed, and from the fire, a green flash launched itself at the shadow. However, before the serpent could reach it, the child snatched its body in midair and held it close.

"It's just Fear trying to protect me, as are you," said the child to the coiling serpent.

Then the child turned to Charlie and coughed up some stuffing before asking, "Are you here to protect me?"

Charlie hugged the child. "Sometimes, but mostly I'm here to listen to you."

The child pulled back and looked at her. "Really? Me?" Charlie smiled, and the child smiled back. "Thank you, Charlie."

"For what?"

"For coming here."

Charlie stood looking over the deserted landscape after squeezing the child's hand and petting the serpent's scales. The once murky sky was now clear and full of stars twinkling down at them.

"Soon, the sun will rise here in these dark and deserted places," said Charlie. "Let's rest before then, for we have a long journey ahead of us."

And at once, Charlie fell into a deep rest, as herself, truly. The flames of the disintegrating house chewed, snapped, and growled into the sky as the silhouette of a great lioness roamed there in waiting.

And so, it begins.