Daddy's Little Girl

"Hey, Dad's on the phone. He asked if you want to talk."

"About what?"

"Uh I don't know, you're life maybe? Whatever you've been up to the past three months? Or has it been longer?"

"I think it's been six. Haven't talked to him since he came last summer."

"Jesus, it's been that long? What? Don't look at me like that. It's muted.

Well, do you want to talk to him or not? You don't have to, but my arm is getting tired, and this is starting to get awkward."

"Fine, yeah. Why not. Give me the phone."

"Err... Hi Dad. How are you?"

"Wow, you must be tired. Where you at now?"

"Beijing? That's cool. How long will you be there? "

"Ah man, that's too bad. Not much time to explore."

"Oh. Really? When?"

"Last Christmas? I thought you were in Florida for that cruise with Kate's family."

"Right, yeah, your family."

"Our family. Sure."

"Sorry. Well, I guess that's not so bad then."

"Uh, pretty good, yeah, just looking forward to graduation."

"Yeah. I know. Mom told me."

"No, no, it's okay. I know you're busy."

"Of course, I didn't mean...."

"I understand."

"Really."

"No way. Congrats."

"Oh wow, that's a pretty hefty tip."

"How sweet."

"Umm, I'm not sure yet. Maybe take a gap year."

"What? No. I mean, yeah. My grades are fine. I just don't feel like I'm ready to commit."

"That's what Mom said."

"I know, I'm not saying never. Just need some time to figure out what I want, I guess."

"It's not off the table. I just, I don't know, bodily fluids kind of gross me out. And I don't really think I'm the caretaking type."

"Dad, I'm seventeen. If I don't know about nursing school, I sure as hell don't know if I want to be responsible for a kid the rest of my life."

"Right. Sorry. Where are you headed next?"

"Oh yeah, I totally forgot. That's nice you can take some time off. How old is she turning again?"

"Five? I can't believe it's been that long..."

"Oh sorry, the call must have cut out. I said wish her happy birthday for me."

"Oh... umm... I don't think I can, with school and work and all. That's sweet though. Tell her I said thanks for the invite. I really wish I could."

"No, it's not that, I promise. I'm taking a lot of AP classes this semester and working doubles every weekend at the diner. Trying to save as much as I can so Adrian and I can get an apartment this summer."

"Not a boy, Dad. Come on, you remember Adrian. She's been my best friend since like the third grade."

"Oh, yeah, I guess... I guess not."

"No, that's cool."

"Yeah, I get it, no worries. That was a really hard time for you."

"Uh, sure. Maybe."

"Okay."

"Yeah, that'd be nice."

"Well, let me know, but not a problem if it doesn't work out. Our friend has a truck we can use too."

"Okay."

"Yeah, I'm feeling okay. I mean, it comes and goes, but nothing I can't manage with rest."

"Yeah, it was nice to talk to you too."

"Yep."

"Love you too."

"Bye."

"Here."

"You okay?"

"Did you know Hannah is turning five?"

"Jesus, it's been that long?"

"That's what I said. Does Dad ever tell you to watch your language?"

"No. I think he's worse than I am. Does mom know?"

"How could she not? I don't get it. He was never home for ours."

"He was there for your eighth birthday."

"You remember that?"

"Uh, yeah I remember it. Come on, you were so happy to see him. You wore that daddy's little girl shirt for months after he left."

"You're making me cringe."

"Sorry. You wanna go get ice cream? I'll pay."

"God, yes. And let's grab mom that triple chocolate ice cream cake."

"But she's on that new diet?"

"She deserves a goddamn cake."

"You're not wrong. He really can't make it for graduation?"

"Zoe?"

"Yeah?"

"He's taking Hannah to fucking Disneyland for her birthday."

"Shit."

"Yeah. How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Talk to him? He doesn't even call me anymore."

"I think he can smell your sadness through the phone. What? You reek of it. Honestly, we really don't talk about anything real. Just like, movies and stuff. And I guess I've just accepted that's all he'll ever have to give."

"Not for her."

"You really think it's that much different? He's always been the fun guy. I think that's all he knows how to be."

"He left when it stopped being fun."

"You have to stop blaming yourself. You got sick."

"Yeah, well, hospitals aren't fun to work in when someone you love lays dying in one."

"He's a coward. And I'm not so sure it won't happen again."

"I hope for Hannah's sake, it won't."

"He's in Beijing right now! Five days ago, it was Nepal. And the week before that, Canada. I think it already is."

"How do you know where he is all the time? I feel like I know nothing about him."

"Instagram. He takes pretty cool pictures."

"Does mom still frequent his page?"

"I wish she wouldn't."

"Yeah, she's really got to stop torturing herself."

"Ha! Says you."

"You know what he told me? He got a raise after hitting 150 five-star reviews. And his last patient slipped him a hundred-dollar bill for how thoughtful he was."

"Wow."

"AND? He asked me if Adrian was my new boyfriend."

"New? You've never even had a boyfriend."

"I don't want one."

"Never?"

"Never."

"You can't let him ruin your whole life."

"You sound like him."

"What do you mean?"

"He said, you can't let what happened keep you from living your life. Mom said the same thing."

"About what? Nursing school? God, even I can see you would be a terrible nurse."

"Thanks. I think he wants me to follow in his footsteps. Use what I went through to help someone. Be like him."

"Viv?"

"Yeah?"

"Look at me. No, seriously, look at me. You are nothing like him."

"If you say so."

"I mean it. I mean, yeah, you can be a bit aloof sometimes. But just look at your friendship with Adrian. You were there for her when her grandma died. You brought her food and flowers and slept on her floor, even when you were sick! Dad came to your hospital room once and then took that month long homecare gig in Memphis."

"I don't think I'll ever understand that."

"I do. It's easier. And taking care of others soothes the guilt."

"How are you so wise? I'm supposed to be the wise one."

"Me? Wise? You really think so?"

"Ha! Don't milk it."

"Oh, there she is! I thought I lost you for a second."

"Screw this. Come on, let's go."