Daddy

Daddy is mad again. He got mad last night when he came home and I made them both sad, and I think he’s still mad at me now ‘cause he’s not here and all of the other Daddies- well, Mommies mostly- have come already because they’re happy like Tabbitha and don’t let each other spill cups all over the place and on Daddy’s new shirt. Mommy said it would come out, but that’s what she said about the tomato sauce, and it is all orange down my front now and I remember when it was red, and before that it was white.

He is Mad mad, and that’s why he won’t come, and Tabbitha’s gone. Daddy gets mad at me so much that Miss Stacy and Missus Thompson don’t even notice me any more, but talk a lot about Carl and the “Fine Nances”. Well, I don’t know what those are, but they’re something bad and it sounds like they are going to attack pretty soon because everyone is worried.

Tick Tock, Mr. Clock. It’s six o’clock because that’s the only one that makes any sense when the hands are pointy up and down. Our Mr. Clock has actual people hands, too. Red ones and not the stick little ones that Mommy has in the kitchen clock. The kitchen clock is only pretty though, because it won’t stay on by itself and never tells anybody anything, not even Daddy when he turns the back.

But I like to draw when Tabbitha’s gone. She takes the red and that’s the best color and she takes the black even though it’s dry and makes green instead. Everyone would steal black if it wasn’t green, but I don’t ever steal any of Tabbitha’s colors so I wish she’d stop.

Daddy’s here! Oh, but he’s still mad in his eyes and wants to carry my Simba lunchbox with the icky sandwich left-over, and I hope he doesn’t see the sandwich ‘cause he will be more mad and tell me about Africa again. I don’t want to go to Africa, I just want to see Mommy and the yellow butterflies again who are never mad and sad and just beautiful.

But Daddy’s not talking about Africa or butterflies or anything except to himself and doesn’t see my picture with the red even all over it. I think it’s pretty because it’s of me and Mommy and Sissies and Daddy and he’s big and has the most red because I’m sorry that I make him so mad all the time and everybody else gets sad. But he won’t look and now we’re in the Little Car and the picture is on the floor and I stepped on it.

We’re going to the Store. That’s my favorite place with Daddy most times, because I get to walk by myself after we go through the slide door. Most times there are cookies by the baker man who will give you one if you pretend to be really little and not actually old and as tall as Mommy’s tummy. But Daddy never takes one because he’s an actual grown-up and knows where he’s going anyways. I don’t take one today because I’m not hungry and no one’s even there.

Daddy lets me pick a Treat, and I don’t want one. Last time I got a pinto horse and I know the real word because his name is Chester and that’s my horse from The Ranch. Now Chester plays with Barney and I’m sorry because Sissies hate him and I chewed on his tail because I hate him too and he is on TV for babies. But he’s mine because Nancy gave him to me special at her party and that’s real nice.

But then I remember that maybe Chester doesn’t like Barney either and that’s why I even look at the other horsies even though Daddy said only one dollar last time and almost made me put him back. I’m glad Daddy’s easy to find. I go down the long row and he’s usually in one of them and getting ro-tis-ry chicken for dinner or a box of stuff that isn’t anything but Daddy has to have it all the time. No one’s ever in that row and Daddy doesn’t let me hold anything because I will drop them and at least he doesn’t look so mad anymore because he smiles with his big box and even says Yes when I want to get my yellow horse. Because yellow is really the best color and my horse knows it because she is happy and has her leg up in the air.

So Daddy gets his big box and I get my friend horse and the curly hair lady at the line knows me because she is nice to Daddy and me and she’s here. Daddy’s eyes are crinkly now and he’s happy when he says OpenSaysMe and the doors are magic like Aladdin, even though they’re not really magic but I point at them anyways and then I’m magic.

And it’s seven o’clock news time when Daddy turns on the car and the big loud radio music comes on to tell us about Mr. Bush and the golf contest that is far away. But I don’t ever want to play golf like they do over there because everybody’s dying, and that’s sadder than all the baby birds or my kitty Chippy. Daddy looks a little sad too but that’s okay because I take out my pretty yellow friend horse and her prancy leg just to show how much I like her and Thank You and I say she’s real pretty and he says she’s a Palmeeno and that I better pick up my picture from the floor because I’m getting feet all over it and Mommy would be sad if she couldn’t see.

We are Home! I run up the steps before Daddy with his big box and paper dinner bag and the door only opens because I’m tall enough now, and our house is happy to see us. Mommy is inside with Sissies and I give her a big hug and she gives me one back and says how was your day and I tell her and show her the picture. Then Daddy comes inside and Mommy changes and says Were You Late Again and Daddy doesn’t answer and I want to say NO he wasn’t! And I like it when everyone’s gone! Because Daddy’s been so nice and he wasn’t even mad anymore. But instead I don’t end up saying anything except for real small and inside, and playing with Honey’s hair- and that’s one of my Sissies.

Daddy starts making the chicken, which is easy because there’s nothing to do and we can eat right away. So Sissies set the table and Mommy thinks I’m sad so she sits with me and asks me where I got the horse. Daddy brings his big box with the gold stuff in the see through cup on it and opens the box and pours the box out into another cup from the cabinet, and I don’t like the sound and the cup he has looks just like the one on the box except smaller. He isn’t so happy anymore and comes to the table, and he brings the chicken and Sissies come and then Daddy goes back because he forgot his cup and that’s the most important.

Sissies talk about Big Girl School and people names Missus Green and Mario. I wonder if she’s actually green, and if she is could she tell me how to be like that. And I think that Mario is a funny name to have because people would get confused all the time, but I think that this Mario is not the one from Tabbitha’s TV because he sounds like a regular boy except for bigger, and so he probably isn’t fighting turtles all the time.

Daddy talks about Work and Mommy talks about the Bookstore, but I don’t talk about anything except about chicken because it’s in my mouth because drumsticks are hard to eat. And when I’m done Mommy tells me to eat more bites but I don’t want to because it’s too big and I’ve already eaten three and that’s more than two! But Daddy is done with his chicken and so he can get up and get more juice and there’s the sound again. No one else can have any juice unless they’re big except Daddy lets me taste it sometimes and it’s nasty and that’s why Mommy never wants it.

I’m finished and Mommy says Time for Bed but it’s not fair because no one else has to and I’m not tired! So I stay out and Mommy asks me again and it’s not fair and I’m not tired! And Sissies are being silly and I want to be silly with them too. And she says again and then Daddy cuts in and yells and Oh No. I go right to bed and wait for pajamas. And I wait a long time but Mommy never comes in and later Sissies do but they aren’t silly anymore but they help me get ready for bed. Then they tuck me in but I wish someone else would.

Then there are sounds and it’s scary and dark and I’d be even more sleepy if it wasn’t like that! Sissies are talking in the bunk bed even though it’s black in here and we all can’t see. Mommy and Daddy aren’t just talking anymore, because I think they’re both in the kitchen and I wouldn’t go out there right now. And I don’t go even though I really have to pee and that’s also why I woke up.

They are really mad this time and I don’t want to hear them so I get under the covers and now it’s even darker and also too hard to breathe, but you can always hear them when it’s like this. I know that Mommy is saying something about Daddy’s juice or me because Daddy says something real mean back and Mommy might be crying now and I can’t tell. They won’t stop and I really have to pee and it’s coming up in me in big tickles and I’m afraid I can’t stop it but I have to because I’m too old for accidents and everyone will be mad at me if I wet my new bed. Plus Daddy’s really angry already and I’m sorry I didn’t go to bed when Mommy asked.

Oh Mommy’s crying! Mommy don’t cry! And Sissies still don’t know that I’m awake but I can tell they’re awake because they’re lying real quiet to hear mommy cry in big gulps. Or maybe she’s choking and I wish that one of them would go make sure she’s not dead. Daddy is coming down the hall and I’m scared ‘cause he’s so mad, and none of us want to cry like Mommy is. He is turning the other way though with his footsteps that sound like bears and I hear the light switch click and he is just going to pee.

But I hear his tinkling sound and it’s too loud and it makes the pee in me come out a little. And then a lot and I can’t hold it anymore and then I am crying louder than Mommy because it’s all over me and the new bed with tulip sheets and it’s too warm and Sissies are up and they turn on the light and there I am all over everywhere making everybody a mess. And Mommy hears and she comes in with her eyes all puffy and runny and she picks me up even with the pee on and everything and she doesn’t say anything but Okay it’s okay it’s not your fault. And I’m trying to tell her that it Is and everybody’s mad because of me and I wanted to go to the bathroom like a big girl but I couldn’t because everyone was mad but when I say anything I’m drooling all down her shirt and my eyes are shut and sounds are coming out of my mouth but they’re not words.

And we stay like that for awhile and then I’m quiet and we stay anyways and somehow Sissies have taken the dirty sheets off the bed and Mommy’s taking off my pajamas. And nobody says anything. And then Daddy’s coming down the hall, but he’s walking careful and I can tell because he stops in front of the door before he walks in, and when he does he doesn’t actually walk in or say anything, his head just comes in to check and it’s quiet but I know he’s not mad anymore. Everybody’s sorry and he knows it and leaves and then Mommy asks if I’m okay and if I can sleep now and I say Yes, even though I want her to stay. And then Sissies are in bed and I’m in bed with clean pajamas and good sheets and we say goodnight and can I have my Palmeeno horse, and I’m glad I don’t have to pee anymore.