Creed (2015) AKA Rocky VII (Review)

All the animation for the New Line Cinema and the Metro Goldmeyer logos are top notch. Now they have a scene where it appears to be a juvenile detention center though it looks more like a prison. They seem to be escorting the children to another part of the facility.

Now these kids are literally kids. They can't be any older then 11 or 12 years old if that and yet these so-called officers are treating them like they're Butch and the Sundance Kid. These are kids fools; Not Al Capone and the Chicago Outfit in the 1920's or Jared from Subway. By all means, do what you feel with those types.

Apparently, there's a "riot" in the lunch room, oops I mean juvenile cafeteria. They must've ran out of Lunchables and Capri Suns again. Don't you hate when that happens. Good grief! Shawty got hands. He beat the crud out that youngin.'

I bet ya that he won't take his Teenage Ninja Turtle thermos or his Grandma Cookies anymore. Phylicia Rashad is in this movie. Now when you talk about the most incredibly, beautiful women of Hollywood, Claire Huxtable should be on everybody's list. 

The young man with the fast hands is Adonis Creed and Phylicia Rashad must be like his stepmother he never knew he had. Wait one damn minute! They ended up replacing Apollo Creed's wife from the earlier "Rocky" films. Now I'm ticked off. I am flabbergasted. Goes to IMDB. com to confirm the situation real quickly. 

Well, I'm not as mad anymore. Sylvia Meals, who played Mary Anne Creed, from Rocky II to Rocky IV passed away back in 2011. May she always rest in power.

Come to find out, there was another actress that played Mrs. Creed in the first Rocky movie named Lavelle Roby. You know I never even caught that. I just always assumed that it was just one woman cast as his wife throughout the franchise. 

So if anybody was perfect to play his wife after Mrs. Meals' passing then Ms. Rashad is the perfect choice. They did get that right. Now back to the movie. Michael B. Jordan looks like a fighter. The cat really hit the weight room for this role indeed. Plus, he has the temperment of a fighter down to a sweet science.

You like that last pun? You get it? Boxing is sometimes referred to as "the sweet science." I am getting so much better at this writing shit. Pats self on the back. Self high five in a DDP font. BANG!!!

Hold up! This dude is some sort of stockbroker. Either that or he works for some financial group so that means he's rolling in the ducats already. Shiettttttttttttttttttttt!!! (In a Clay Davis font) If he's doing that then that means he's making some beaucoup bucks. 

The only fighting that I would be doing would be on the Sega Dreamcast with those Ready to Rumble folks. Speaking of that, why was Shaq so damn hard to beat in that game! Okay, back to the film.

Oh snap! Another "Wire" alum. Brian Anthony Williams, who portrayed Det. Vernon Holley in the critically acclaimed series, is also in this film. He plays Michael B. Jordan's, also from The Wire, boss.

He ended up resigning from his job. I understand his passion but I might've stayed on a few more years and banked a little more capital just in case the boxing shit didn't go as planned. 

Another "Wire" alum, it's Avon Barksdale up in this piece. Wood Harris is a helluva actor. Shoutout to him but he's a bit of a prick to Adonis in this movie. He's just looking out for him I would assume. He doesn't want him to end up like his father. 

Adonis challenges any fighter in the gym to a bout. He ends up disposing of the first challenger in record time. Oh shit! It's Andre Ward who steps up to a plate. This can't be good for ole Adonis. 

Damn! Down goes Creed; Down goes Creed! (In a Howard Cassell font) Damn! Phylicia Rashad said that she had to wipe her husband's ass. Now that's some serious love right there. 

In this scene, he heads to Philly to a place called Adrian's where he asks for Rocky to train him. This scene was superb. Jordan does wonderful work as the proverbial "fighter with an edge." I always wondered who won that fight at the end of Rocky III between Balboa and Creed. Now I know. 

They have an HBO sports special in this next scene. Remember when HBO had boxing? It was such fun times. God, I miss those days. Whoever did the narration for those fights did an awesome job. He had the perfect voice and everything. He really told the story of each of those fights from back then.

Ole fine ass Tessa Thompson in this film too I see with the absolute, worse fucking Philly accent in the history of Western Civilization. They couldn't have got a sista from Philly to portray his significant other. 

Andre Ward got his comeuppance because he just got clocked by another fighter during a press conference. Tessa playing that music sky high. She ain't fooling anybody. She's just doing that because she wants to go a few rounds with Adonis herself. Not before the fight, bro!

Tessa's braids are looking real nice. I bet she smells sweeter then Heaven but her Philly accent is atrocious but everything else is quite lovely. Wow! Shorty has progressive hearing loss which means she's eventually going to go deaf completely.

She's been learning sign language and threw up a sign. It's supposed to be a bullshit sign but looked more like a I-wanna-jerk-you-off sign. Damn, they killed Paulie out this movie too. Damn bastards! First, they took Adrian and now Paulie. Smh! This make-believe world just ain't the same without those two. 

Man, I had to catch a chicken back in the day and that shit is no joke. Plus, those mofos can fly. I just set up a trash can with a board so that the chicken can use it as step to fly back on top of the trash can and over the fence back to where it came from. 

Tessa and Michael have great chemistry. That's wifey right there, homez. She's in the industry so she understands the complexities of what you all do and go through. Go head and get your nuptials on, bro. 

Lawd hammercy. Tessa Thompson's shoulders look so delicious. If Adonis don't want her, I'll take her. Lol Rock. Women do weaken legs just like Mick told ya but Tessa Thompson can have me weak at the knees anytime.

"You can't learn why you're talking" is one of the realest quotes you will ever hear. These training scenes are epic. Almost makes me want to get my lazy behind up and start doing some sparring sessions of my own.

Now nothing tastes better then the thrill of victory then some good coochie. And that's exactly what's about to happen on ole Rocko's couch. Smh at the turtle watching though. Rock has to get that turtle a girlfriend or something. 

This video keeps buffering. I wish I would've kept that Creed dvd my father let me use even though I couldn't use it at the time because all my dvd players were on the fritz.

Rocky gets a call of a lifetime to set up a superfight with the champ. I can dig it. A plot that's very similar to the first "Rocky" film. Obviously, not very creative but the dialogue is pretty damn spectacular. 

Now here goes the Hollywood bid'ness. They got Adonis braiding Bianca's (Tessa Thompson's character) hair. Now any man with a woman that fine in bed is not going to be braiding her hair; They're going to be too busy trying to mess it up. 

The big fight is all set up. Adonis is FIGHTING RICKY CONLAN and he said it twice and rather loudly I might add. I'm so thankful that I don't have my surround sound turned up to high or my ears would be ringing like Balboa's after that fight against Ivan Drago.

Balboa passes out and is taken to the hospital. Looks like he might've had a heart attack. That's a little ass hospital bed. They must not have any beds for a grown ass man. Mini Me couldn't fit in that bed. 

Rock is taking a phone call presumably from the doctor about his test results. And the results are: YOU ARE…….NOT THE FATHER. No but seriously, Rocko has cancer just like Adrian did. 

Adonis discovers that Rocky has cancer and is confronting him about it. Sylvester Stallone and Carl Weathers should have won so many Academy Awards for their portrayals in those "Rocky" films. They probably gave it to Dustin Hoffman or somebody like that. These guys really not just "bodied" but embodied their roles. Buffering again.

It feels like I'm back in the AOL days. YOU"VE GOT MAIL. Adonis gets into a scuffle over a couple of cats for being disrespectful. Fellas, when a human being asks you not to call them something, please respect their wishes. And don't go talking that tough guy talk especially with a boxer who's really skilled with their hands. 

More about the man code violations in another post. Now I have a little bit of problem with this next scene involving Bianca. She's upset that he messed up her show but she's not blaming that clown for talking out of the tattooed-up side of his neck. 

That has to be the woman in her because any logical person would have understood the plight and what the real truth was but she's just like another girl all up in her feelings on that "what about me" tip. Motherfucker, the whole world does not involve around you and your fake ass homies.

All those cats want to do is hit it if they haven't done it already. That other guy actually cares about you. Sure, he had a bad day but he had a lot on his mind and those clowns deserved it. 

So they recreate the "iconic" scene where Rocky is running thru the streets but instead of the people being on bicycles, they have them on four wheelers and motorbikes. I guess they're paying homage to the times. 

Rocky got his girl to come back to him. That's awfully cool of him. His mother gifted him his father's old boxing trunks. See, I knew there was a reason that I always had a thing for Claire Huxtable. 

Shit, I'm getting antsy at awaiting the big fight. There's nothing like the feel of a good ole prizefight as my grandfather would say. Let's go! It's showtime, folks! You can feel all the nervousness in the air but nothing clears up nervousness like Makaveli's Comeee with meeeee, Hail Mary.

That's the music he chose to come to the ring with and the song is somewhat censored for whatever reason. Oh! It's because of the "N" word reference. They didn't want any extra added controversy. I'm with it.

I see they have Michael Buffer as the special guest ring announcer to add to the effect of a big time fight. I read somewhere that he was making something like 250 grand per fight. Now that's great work if you can get it.

And you can't have a big fight feel without the big time announcers. They have Max Kellerman and Jim Lampley on the call. Conlan looks doughy as hell. Has the motherfucker ever heard of an ab roller?! Lol. It's Hollywood! Have them draw on some abs for him. Geez and crackers!

One thing about Bianca though; She is ride or die! I can hear that in the way she screamed out, GET YA HANDS UP! Now if that doesn't inspire you then I don't know what else will. Now they could've gotten a better ring girl. One with more assets. That's just some technical advice from a rabid fan of the film. 

Oooh! They're getting some very gruesomely, bloody shots. I like it though. I don't don't think it's overkill in the least bit. Oooh at that gruesome right hook that Canlon just gave Creed. Homie went down like a sack of Idaho spuds. 

Let me guess! Conlan gets up and wins the fight by decision. Patiently awaiting the decision. Yep! Conlan won by split decision. Smh! Now Conlan wants to show respect after all that disrespect but I guess it's just a show business.

Now Conlan, please don't drop the soap in the pokey, champ. I see ole Max Kellerman negotiated a rather nice deal because this dude got more air time then fighters did during the bout. As far as the movie goes, I'm going to say the same line that they used to end the movie. Not bad; Not bad at all.