Crab and Bull

(Claws, Sea, Shell)

Being a Dove, people always ask me about true love & the secret to a perfect relationship. I look every one of them in the eye & say ‘There is no such thing as a perfect relationship & the only way you find true love is to love truly.’ I explain that it is simply impossible for it to be perfect but that doesn’t mean it can’t be amazing. No one will ever be able to love another exactly the way they want, the key is to just try.

I usually use Crab & Bull to illustrate because they love each other more than either had ever thought possible. Crab loved the way Bull would move with such fierce finesse & how Bull never backed down when charging on something. The conviction & passion Bull had made Crab look at Bull with deep admiration. Bull had never met someone as compassionate & caring as Crab. Even with claws Crab was so gentle & patient. Bull felt safe & loved by Crab.

Not many would have ever thought about Crab & Bull being in love. Neither was perfect but they were perfect for each other. They came from very different worlds. Bull was raised in a world of discipline, structure, training & competition. There was consistency in Bull's upbringing, a support system Bull could count on, support in almost every way except emotional. Bull didn't know how to control emotions too well due to this, especially the pressure & stress they had put on them. Crab lived quite the opposite life. Left on the beach to find the water on its own. Always moving from place to place with no real sense of security. The constant change in Crab's life led to not really believing in permanence. As a result Crab was constantly fearful of losing the things they loved.

The two would spend hours sharing their stories & learning each other's history. Both taking notes on how to better love the other. Crab learned that Bull needs to be petted more often & taken out to Show semi frequently to feel loved & appreciated. Bull came to see that Crab gushes with gratitude when Bull is helpful & thoughtful. Crab's favorite thing though was when Bull would talk about how much Crab was loved & how happy Bull was with Crab. Both did their best to communicate their love in the way the other wanted.

Being from different environments each had a certain way they were accustomed to living. Bull was used to stables & secure fences. Space to run & stretch Bull's strong beautiful legs & the privacy of an individual stable. Crab came from the where the tides were always shifting. There was no one sandy shore Crab called home, the only sense of ownership Crab had was with its shell. When they decided to build a home together they did their best to compromise on their habitat. Bull had plenty of Arenas nearby to go to Show. Crab was happy about being near so many lakes and having the ability to feel the water. They both loved living together & how they had a place to escape the world with each other. But neither was completely satisfied. Their home, while beautiful, was too small for Bull & too stationary for Crab. Bull kept craving more Shows due to the lack of space to run and jump. Crab often felt overwhelmed & stressed with so much more to care for besides its shell. Yet, the way they felt when close was worth any discomfort caused by making space for each other. It was an easy decision for the two & one they made daily through all their compromises & tailored affection.

Just like the habitat not being a perfect fit, there were times each exhibited behaviors that would cause tension in the relationship. Little or big things they did that the other just couldn't understand. It wasn't for lack of love or effort. Crab strained its little eyes to see things from the grand perspective Bull had with its strong stature & big brown eyes. Bull struggled to perceive the smaller aspects that Crab was close to, being so little. They both tried as hard as they could to see things from the other's point of view, but simply couldn't due to their physical, emotional & mental differences.

Bull was able to wade into the water but could never feel what it was like to be carried away with the tide. Because of this Bull had a hard time sympathizing with Crab's flowing emotions & how the smallest shifts would make Crab insecure. Everything in Bull's life was reliable & dependable, making it hard for Bull to understand why Crab needed to be reassured so often. Crab never had a lot to count on and always had to take what the current brought its way. So Crab couldn't comprehend why Bull would get so upset & stomp around throwing dirt & dust whenever it was displeased or just sulked in the stable. Show was exciting for Crab & sharing it with Bull was the most fun Crab had ever had. However, Crab could never feel the rush of competition & how it felt to be declared special like Bull who has always had the pressure to have to prove itself. Therefore Crab could never see it as a necessity the way Bull did nor share the degree of disappointment when unable to attend.

No matter how hard each tried, there were just some ways they let each other down. Not often but on occasion these shortcomings led to arguments & disagreements. It was at these moments that their love was tested. Remembering that it was their differences that made them fall in love always helped. Crab might like for Bull to be more tender & empathetic, but it was Bull's unrelenting passion that captivated Crab in the first place. Bull would certainly care for Crab to be more decisive, dominant & confident. If that was the case though Crab would lose the sensitive sweetness Bull fell in love with. It was impossible to have it both ways. Imperfections are what makes it perfect.