Cozy Animal Friendship Crew

Tony watches the sun dip behind the tree line and darkness begin to sweep in like the aggressive silence that circulates in the front of the car.

Not a single word has been spoken since “is your seatbelt on, Tony?” and the doors were yanked shut, sealing in the discomfort.

Tony picks up his jumbo kid’s sketchpad and flips past page after page of curly haired figures riding scooters, rocketing through space, captaining pirate ships, and so on, as well as a menagerie of silly looking creatures made from ridiculous mashups, until he reaches an empty page, and stares. He presses the soft lead of the pencil onto the page and, after some hesitation, draws a line. Then another. Then, after another lengthy pause, Tony closes the pad and slides the pencil into the spiral binding to be held like a boa constrictor hugging a wild pig.

Tony looks back out the window and loses count of the trees after about one hundred and fifty.

“We’re just going to drive through the entire night?” Mom breaks the silence.

“You’ve got a better suggestion?” Dad responds.

“We could have just stayed overnight. Like we had originally planned.”

“So I could continue to be berated and denigrated by your mother? No thank you. I don’t know why I agreed to this trip to begin with.”

“You know how she is.”

“And that makes it okay?”

“Like your mother’s any better.”

“And when was the last time we visited her? Huh? Oh, that’s right. I cut her off for you.”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“It’s just different.”

Dad scoffs, shakes his head, and silence takes the lead once again.

Tony shifts in his seat and fiddles with the fabric of the seatbelt strap so it won’t dig into his neck like it has started to.

“You could have at least defended me.” Dad starts up again.

“What?”

“Defended me. You know. Your husband. Would it kill you to stand up for me every once in a while?”

“Didn’t realize your fragile little ego was so weak you needed a woman to protect you.”

“My fragile… Jesus fucking Christ.”

“Tony, honey, watch one of your shows.”

Tony had already powered on his tablet and had his headphones on since he knows the rhythm and timing of all this by heart now. He starts up Cozy Animal Friendship Crew, listens as the two-dimensional, anthropomorphic animals sing their theme song, then keeps his eyes on the screen to watch them learn lessons in morality as basic as the style in which they are drawn.

“How much wine did you drink tonight at your mother’s anyway?”

“What does it matter?”

“What does it matter? You drink a bottle every god damn day! You’ll be half a bottle deep when I get home and you were supposed to be watching your son, for fuck’s sake.”

“My son? You mean our son? Though I guess that attitude explains why you almost never show up for any of his events.”

“I can’t help that work always needs me. Someone has to provide.”

“You could make the fucking time if you really wanted to.”

“You just don’t fucking get it, do you?”

Belly-Badger, Preston-Peccary, Theresa-Turtle, and Yaeko-Yak shipwreck on an island.

“And how dare you try to act all high and mighty with me. You think I haven’t seen your search history? Some man you are with all that filth you watch.”

“Well maybe if you’d let me touch you every once in a while, I wouldn’t have to.”

“So it’s my fault you’re a pervert?”

“Don’t fucking call me that.”

“I’m sure you’ll blame me for your relationship with Julia too.”

“Relationship? What are you on?”

“You think I haven’t noticed how you two glance at each other at company events? Read your flirty little texts?”

“Oh, so fucking what.”

“Have you fucked her?”

“What?”

“Have. You. Fucked her.”

“No. I haven’t. Yet.”

“Ohh-ho. Fuck you.”

Belly-Badger, Preston-Peccary, Theresa-Turtle, and Yaeko-Yak sing a song about teamwork.

“You're disgusting. You know that? She’s only twenty-five.”

“And I’m thirty-five. What’s your fucking point? She’s an adult. And I’m not even interested in her. I’m interested in how she makes me feel.”

“And how’s that?”

“Wanted! Attractive. Interesting. All the things you used to make me feel.”

Sebastian-Snake learns that everyone has a talent.

“I think we should take a break for a while.”

“You know what? Maybe we should.”

Tony leans his head against the window and lets the vibration of the car and the blur of the man-planted forest of Longleaf Pines lull him to sleep before he can witness whatever lesson Belly-Badger and Preston-Peccary are about to learn.

"Welcome, Tony," says Belly-Badger.

“It’s been a while since we’ve met someone new,” Yaeko-Yak smiles.

Tony looks around the tree house and stops in front of a set of empty hanging picture frames.

“Those are for your drawings,” Sebastian-Snake informs him.

“Would you like to be friends?”

“You could live here with us.”

“Tony.”

“Go on adventures.”

“Camping.”

“Sing silly songs.”

“Tony.”

Tony opens his eyes in the now parked car, Dad on the walkway, stretching his turned back, and Mom sitting, turned halfway outside, telling Tony to wake up.

Tony slides out of the car, carefully shutting the door behind him, and joins Dad on the walkway.

He glances briefly up at Dad, heavy-eyed, stone faced and silent, and back at Mom, tight lipped and trailing behind, before they disappear into the appropriate restrooms.

Dad enters a stall, while Tony carefully navigates the trickeries of the floor-length urinal.

Hands washed and semi-dried by hot hair, Tony exits and wipes the remaining water on his pockets while he waits in front of the beckoning vending machines and looks over the collection offered.

There are the familiar, the copies, and the local delicacies, though he is mostly fascinated by the names he knows and yet offer strange and, until now, unheard of flavors.

“Time to hit the road, bud,” Dad says. “We’ve got snacks at home.”

Tony nods and trails his father, leaving the mysteries forever behind him.

Mom is already seated and staring out the passenger side window.

Tony and Dad take their respective places again, and the only conversation is the start of the engine and the sounds of the asphalt beneath the tires.

Headphones on, and by the light of his favorite show, Tony takes his time drawing himself along with his best renditions of Yaeko-Yak, Preston-Peccary, and Maxine-Margay, roasting marshmallows around a fire.

Tony looks over his completed work while Belly-Badger watches from behind the glass of the tablet's screen as Mom, arms folded and eyes closed, remains leaning against the window, and Dad begins to sporadically nod in agreement with some unspoken conversation.

The car drifts left as 4000 angry lumens blind, and a horn, like some giant limpkin, shrieks and rips through the silence.

The Cozy Animal Friendship Crew holds hands and sings about making a new friend until the sun begins to splash its waking reds over crumpled husks, and the wail of sirens herald the breaking of day.