Coup the Lou

Chowder Chatter

"There lives a monster.

It's out deep in the swamps.

I tell you to be wary.

This beast's hide is unusual.

Part of it is impenetrable.

The other part's difficult to chop through.

If you go looking for it,

you will stumble into its trap.

The beast is part of the swamp.

Hiding its snake-like traps,

you will be reeled in."

...

"What

is this

beast that you

speak of? I beg

of you to tell me.

What demon lives

in our swamp,

we call

home?"

...

"In Asia they tell

stories of a creature

that lives for millennia

in the sea, fields, and the mountains.

Upon achieving this it ascends

to the sky and it becomes royalty.

I'll say ours is a royal all right.

It's a royal pain in our ass.

It's taken our own livestock.

It's taken our own lives

with its sticky traps."

...

"What's

its name?

This beast must

certainly be

world renowned by now?

How big is this

creature you

speak of,

friend?

...

"How big is its hide?"

"It stretches on for miles."

"How sharp are its biting teeth?"

"It'll skin off a man's armor."

"How does it trap us, livestock, and game?"

"It uses giant worms and faceless snakes."

"What does its slithery servants do?"

"They lie in wait until stepped on."

"Are they always stepped upon?"

"No, they can sense voices."

"Please, tell me its name."

...

"Lou

Carcolh,

demonic

snail of the bog,

consumer of men.

I'll serve it as

escargot,

dreadful

beast."

***

Baby Bait

A house was emptied.

A slimy crime scene occurred.

People were dragged out.

...

A cradle was found

missing its bundle of joy.

A sad sight to see.

...

The grass blades relay

a horror story to tell.

Their blades have been bent.

...

They were dragged through mud,

even through branches and roots,

then into a lair.

...

One night while talking

something had felt their voices.

It crept through the door.

...

They were invaded

and assaulted by large worms.

Their knives proved useless.

...

The dad stabbed away,

and the mom grabbed her skillet.

Nothing seemed to work.

...

Then the table rocked.

The saltshaker had fallen.

A worm was injured.

...

The boneless arm writhed

in pain as the parents were

shocked and enlightened.

...

They had a weapon,

though not enough to save them.

Still, they had to try.

...

The salt had been thrown,

injuring the faceless snakes.

Then, they healed themselves.

...

Succumbing to rage,

they lashed out in a fury,

taking the parents.

...

Crying too loudly,

a baby in its cradle

had been discovered.

...

Hovering over,

the arm wrapped around the babe,

taking it with them.

...

Dragged from their cabin,

they went over the rivers

going through the woods.

...

To Lou's lair they went.

Having met the swamp demon,

they said their prayers.

...

The parents tried to

escape by squirming away.

They were horrified.

...

Upon hearing their

babe cry, they started to fight

back against the beast.

...

They bit, kicked, and scratched.

If they had a dying wish,

it would be to live.

...

They wanted to live

only so they can save their

baby from death's jaws.

...

The Lou's whiskers fought

back by swinging them around.

The beast was angry.

...

Slamming the parents

on the ground, he consumed them,

swallowing them whole.

...

Now satiated,

Lou saved the babe for later.

A pack of wolves came.

...

Attracted by the

babe's crying for an easy

meal, Lou ate the wolves.

...

Coyotes, foxes,

wolves and, yes, mountain lions;

all fell for the trap.

...

Lou Carcolh ate well,

and even lured in people.

Then something went wrong.

...

The babe's life force was

slowly draining over time.

What would the Lou do?

***

Whelk's Whelp

Lou Carcolh had a problem with its bait.

As the snail grew hungry, it could not wait.

Lou Carcolh dared not to eat the baby.

Eating its bait source would be too crazy.

Lou sent his whiskers out past the swamp's woods.

In a pasture, Lou found prey that was good.

Lou roped a cow back to its cave, its lair.

Lou lifted the cow up into the air.

The cow was now hanging over the babe.

Squeezed too tightly, the cow's milk that it gave

spilled out overtop the babe's mouth and face.

The milk was so good, Lou gave it a taste.

The babe was now nourished Lou understood.

Squeezing the cow, feeding the babe, it would

grow smarter, keeping both alive as bait.

All Lou had to do was just sit and wait.

***

Seasoned Sluggers

The town had grown tired of the mountainous snail.

Using its conch to echo the wails

of the babe it kept captive, feeding it milk.

One woman was in anger, "That babe's of our ilk!

We should rescue it, the poor thing is maltreated."

A soldier spoke up, "Ma'am, we've had many defeated.

My men have charged in, only death did they meet.

That snail peeled off their armor with razor sharp teeth."

One man stood up, in the back did he yell,

"You don't fight a snail with steel! That's a demon from hell!

Salt. Kills. Demons!"

From the top of his lungs he was screamin'.

"If we use salt to banish them and exorcise them to hell,

then we send this beast back where it belongs to dwell

the rest of its life to the depths of the river Styx!"

The town got up proudly, a plan, together, did start to knit.

The royal king also got involved.

He wrote, "I want that beast's shell to be my next royal hall."

He funded them with gold, wine, silver by the spades.

"We must drain the swamp." They dug ditches with their spades.

The fresh water drained, they now formed a new lake.

Drastic actions, did the townspeople start to take.

Steel could not pierce the hide of Carcolh, king Lou.

Allow me to relate what the smiths did, what the townspeople knew.

Iron armor was though good, only delayed the inevitable at their fault.

These people eat escargot, for snails and slugs, they needed salt.

The first quick weapons and armor made was from vapored sea water.

The other weapons melted salt into weapons, smelting it in furnaces, making it hotter.

Salt swords, pikes, spears, chainmail, armor pieces and the like.

Arrows to arrow tips, they even made several throwing knives.

The swamps were drained, and Lou lazed still, a beast of the seven deadly sins.

This was one battle the people aimed for it to not win.

First, they poured salt making a ring.

Lou's faceless snakes touched it. Making them sting.

He withdrew his whiskers, his slimy, wormy, hairs.

Then the brave men and women of town, flooded into his lair.

Though they all weren't entirely brave,

they realized his lair was his shell, he hid not in a cave.

His shell was so big that it took up grass and acted like a hill.

Lou had lazed about for years, sloth and gluttony, letting him be still.

Yet, his pride and envy would push his greed to succeed and eat.

He'd would not know that his sins would bring about his defeat

He had a lust for food, and when hungry in wrath Lou would imbibe.

Violence and sloth, trickery and traps, is how Lou had thrived

The townsfolk fell not for the bait of the cow chewing on grass.

Without hesitation a mother sliced through his whisker, with a blade made of salt glass.

The slime came off in chunks, it dried up and fell of in gobs and drops.

The people with salt swords and axes attacked Lou, chopping parts of him off.

The babe was rescued and saved.

The townsfolk let out a huge, "HOORAY!"

They continued to hack away at the beast, committing the snail's slaughter.

Then they named the babe "Moishe," from the swampy hell, she was delivered from water.

Cleaning out its shell, the people brought out salted butter garlic, they ate well.

The downfall of Lou Carcolh with salted armor, seasoned veterans, the story they tell.

Of Lou's get, we've yet to know if there'll be another batch.

Of demonic snails, hellish whelks, nobody knows if something's hatched.

Though for centuries they haven't seen another beast like Lou in the absence of its wake.

Yet, when they drained the swamps, flooding the land, some say its eggs floated to the bottom of the new lake.