Clinging

I didn’t know her. I find it hard to fully remember her. But, I could feel her. The warmth of her skin on mine as she held me close, whispering her undying love for me. The smell of strawberries surrounded her. Her smile was so big I can recognize it in the mirror. I stare at my dark hair, emerald eyes, and pale skin as I begin to wonder what life was like before the Cling. Pop says I shouldn’t; that it will just make me hold on to something that is no longer there. As I clench the locket dangling from my neck, I forget his warnings and submerge myself in what-could-have-beens. I snap out of it at the sound of my fathers heavy footsteps. The closer they come, the less I hold the metal heart that encapsulates the only photo I have of her. As the door snaps open, I look at him in the mirror. He always looks both sad and happy at the same time. Ever since I was a child, his eyes have been cold, though his heart is undoubtedly warm.

About 12 years ago, life was normal. I was on my school bus with my friends when we passed the woods. There was a silhouette of a deer that seemed to be keeping up with bus. It didn't seem like much until we noticed the deer getting closer...and bigger. By the time the deer had gotten to the side of us, it was taller and longer than our 80 passenger bus. Its eyes were purple and it had teeth protruding in different directions. I will never forget the moan that erupted from it as it smashed into us. Kids went flying. Only three of us survived. The cops found us and returned us to our parents. By that point, word had gotten around and more of these creatures began to emerge. One died after being shot by cops, allowing scientist to test it.

It's called the Cling because a mutant gene had gotten into every animal and it clung to their predatory genes, no matter how benign, causing them to rapidly multiply. No one knows how it happened. Humans weren't effected, though it changed our world. They were everywhere: on land, in the sea, and in our homes. So, most humans went underground. My father, mother, younger sister Abby, and I hid in a bomb shelter with one other family. Unfortunately, their youngest son couldn't say goodbye to his hamster and smuggled it into the bunker with us. I woke up to my father running away with me in his arms, both of us covered in blood.

"Are you ready Nadia?". I clear my throat and my thoughts. "Yes, Pop. Where are they?"

He looks down at the floor. "South, beyond the Crater." We look at each other for what would be have been too long under different circumstances. I take in his wrinkled skin, caked with dirt and sweat. It's exactly how I want to remember him. His gritty voice keeps the tears from reaching my cheeks. "Please don't stay out past curfew. You know they can get you if you aren't fast enough." These warnings have become a part of our daily routine. While most of me hates it, there is a part of me that craves it. Knowing he still worries for me strikes a nerve against my already breaking heart. Will he forgive me?

He takes a step forward and lightly touches my locket. "You're going to be fine Nadi. You are going to make it back." I smile faintly at him, my heart sinking into the soles of my feet. It's now or never.

We head towards the hatch, each step becoming permanent. Pop lifts me to the circular door and wishes me luck. As I take hold of the latter, he grabs my hand. "Promise me you will be careful Nadia. Promise me." I turn to face him, aching with predetermined grief. I take my hand from his, placing it on his cheek. I pull him in and touch my nose to his. "From the first to the last, all of my days are yours." For the first time in a long time, I can hear my fathers voice break. This was a tradition my mother started when I was born. He looks at me and responds, "And everyday after that."

I smile at him and begin my ascent towards my future. With what strength I can muster, I twist the iron handle and push upward. The sound of rain grows louder, paired with the breeze that carries the stale sent of death on its back. I pull my mask up and step out of the shelter. As I go to close the door, Pop holds a hand over his heart and smiles. It's at this moment that I realize I have begun to cry. The rain couldn't have come at a better time.

I lock the latch and move the metal cover back over it. Today is the day. It is finally happening. I set off southbound, taking in my surroundings. I have been to the Crater before, but never beyond. We received word that there was a family struggling to survive and needed assistance. Our community was comprised of thirty seven people. Most of them were adults that came with one or two children. Though, since the Cling, there had been five births. Each year, we work to expand the bunker. This also comes with taking in more people. Pop used to make the treks to find new "family members". But, he was attacked last year and lost his foot. I told him not to go to the woods, but he was adamant about rescuing that family. They are the ones that brought him back. I guess, in a way, he was lucky. Luck is something we are in short supply of.

It is a three hour trip to Butler, the place where the family is. We always start right as the sun comes up so that we can see everything around us, but the rain has taken that from me. I walk in the gloom of the day, clouds looming over and fog thickening. The silence is unnerving at times, yet peaceful at others. Within the first hour and a half, I had already fought off two pigs and what I assume used to be a goose. I make my way to the Crater, a large hole where a development of homes used to be. In it, you can still see the skeleton of a past life: children's toys, clothes, and some of a foundation. I walk around, ready to reach my destination.

Each step I take is exciting, yet terrifying. I had to leave the bunker, and I can't say I fully know why. Something in me was screaming to get out and be on my own for a bit. Admittedly, I also wanted to find out more about her. Pop wouldn't have understood. Any mention of my mother sent him into a prolonged state of mental absence. He'd lock himself away from me, leaving me to fill the gaps with my imagination.

These thoughts keep me from realizing that I have come to the top of a hill. My next step isn't met with ground, but with air as I tumble down it. It feels like I am hitting every rock and branch on the way down. I land at the edge of a pond. Dirt covers my body while blood pours from my mouth and nose. I cannot take a deep breath in without pain coursing through me. I let out a deep grunt as I pull my arm to my chest. It's definitely out of socket. Taking in my injuries becomes overwhelming. Tears begin streaming down my face. I miss my father more than I ever though possible in this moment. Breathing through the pain, I reset my shoulder like Pop taught me. The sound of my shoulder returning to its home is enough to keep me from passing out. It also gives me a chance to notice the tall grass moving in the distance. I sling my arm with my rain coat and get to my feet. Walking is hard, but it sure as hell beats dying. I struggle towards a small bridge that will get me across the pond. I have never felt pain like this. The fear swelling through me is worse. I can hear the rustling of a quick moving object approaching me, closing the gap between us. I trip, cursing at myself to keep going. I don't want it to end like this. It can't end like this. Crawling is my only option now. With one good arm and somewhat okay knees, I pull myself towards the bridge. Whatever is chasing me is close enough that I can hear its breathing behind me. In a last ditch effort of self preservation, I flip onto my back to see what is coming for me. My eyes go wide at the sight of it. What once was a mouse is now a giant monster with bulging eyes and a sharp tail. Slowly, it takes a step towards me and lets out a deafening screech. I would do the same, but shock won't let me. As it begins rushing towards me, I close my eyes, clasp my locket and say "And everyday after that."

A warm liquid covers my face in an instant. I open my eyes, realizing I am covered in blood. The mouse lands less than a yard away from me. There's a large spear that sticks out of the side of its neck. Unsure of what just happened, I scramble to my feet to run. A figure steps out in front of me, causing me to fall once again. "Hey, hey, calm down. Oh god, you're really hurt. Cam, Cam! Get some bandages over here now! Take a breath, we've got you." While I wish it was the pain or loss of blood that made me hear things, that voice sounds so familiar. It's so soothing and comfortable. I lay on my back with this strangers hands steadying my head. I open my eyes, just for a moment, unable to process what I'm seeing.

"Mom?!"