Circumnavigate

Richard Humbleback the 7th would one day be an extraordinary pirate, just like his father; Richard Humbleback the 6th, who was a superb pirate like his father before him. But for now, Junior only paled in comparison to the lumbering man who gave the palm trees around him a run for their money.

The day was hot enough to set his old man's beard ablaze and Junior soaked the sand in sweat. Junior's father stood proudly beside him, his attention on a decorated arrangement of portraits. Each portrait hung from a different palm tree on the island. "That's me right there, son", his father said pointing to the most recent portrait. He was much younger, with a dashing smile and a long colorful feather that stuck out of his pirate cap - he still wore it to this day but it had become much more dull. Engrained below the portrait read, Richard Humbleback the 6th, the man of the hour, every hour. His father led him from tree to tree, introducing him to every pirate in his lineage:

Richard Humbleback the 5th, some say he kept a mistress, we called her rum.

Richard Humbleback the 4th, so large, that an extra ship need be built for his bed.

Richard Humbleback the 3rd, a lover of mermaids.

Richard Humbleback the 2nd, cartographer of the Great Noble Sea.

Richard Humbleback the 1st, rider of the great sky beast.

As Richard Humbleback the 6th reached the last palm tree, a tear fell from his eye. "One day, ye will have yer very own portrait right there me boy." his father said, pointing at a small sapling just beginning to sprout through the sand. "Come now, I'm so hungry I could eat aye sky beast myself", his father said as they walked to a paddle boat marooned in the shallow waters.

The island was incredibly tiny and sat in the middle of nowhere. Floating offshore was a massive ship, gold lined its rims, and silver grew from its wooden base. His father's ship, The Whale Hopper, had been in the family for generations, having never been sunk. They paddled back to the ship over dense foamy waters, colorful fish splashed around them. "What"s a sky beast?" Junior asked nervously. His father's thunderous laugh echoed over the rippling waters. "Don't be afraid me boy, yer a Humblebach, thy beast shivers at thy'mention of yer name". They reached the ship and its crew tossed a long rope overboard. Junior hopped on his father's back as he climbed up the high rope with the strength of an experienced pirate.

At the top of the ship, Junior was hit by a waft of the most delightful smell. A large wooden table lay in front of him, it overflowed with roasted pig and cups filled to the brim with rum. Pirates danced around cheerily, singing tales of old as they drank their rum. "Little captain has arrived!" Jolly Rodger shouted, raising his cup in a toast. Jolly Rodger was his father's first mate, a tall scrawny-looking man, with half a body made of wood. He and the other pirates had prepared a feast in Junior's honor. Everyone took a seat and dug into the roasted pig with bare hands, breathing was an afterthought. "So, little captain, will ye be thy new rider of thy sky beast?" Jolly Rodger asked, his mouth still stuffed with pork.

Junior's father joined in, "ye have never even seen thy sky beast, Jolly Rodger."

"Aye captain, saw him in me dream once! There I was floating in thy cold waters all by meself."

Jolly Rodger looked around the table to make sure everyone was listening. "When five giant whales appeared in thy sky, scared me shitless, whales belong in water you see."

Jolly Rodger stood up on his chair, waving his hands around wildly. "Their heads were attached to only one neck you see, a neck so large I could not see its end, it rose into the heavens themself."

Jolly Rodger jumped off his chair, making a loud thud as his wooden leg hit the deck. "Thy beast picked me up and hoisted me away to oblivion! I screamed so loud I woke meself up!"

The table erupted into laughter, pirates slammed the table with their fists, and some even choked on their food. "Aye, my friend!" one pirate exclaimed, "I think ye been drinking too much rum there!" Junior's father stood up and gave Jolly Rodger a strong pat on the back, "I can always count on you to make me laugh me friend!" He rose up a toast to Jolly Rodger, and all the men drank until dark.

That night, Junior lay in his hammock. All the other pirates had gone to bed below deck, but Junior much preferred sleeping outside. Every night, the sky above him would explode into an array of vibrance and color that lulled him to sleep with its quiet humming, but tonight his father's passionate voice boomed from the stern to the hull of the ship. Having decided to see what his father was up to, Junior shimmied out of his hammock and ventured below deck. He meandered through the dimly lit rooms, full of snoring pirates and gunpowder. As he approached the captain's quarters, his father's voice boomed behind a large wooden door. Junior mustered up all his strength and shoved the door open, his father was huddled around a large wooden table with Jolly Rodger. Perched on his father's shoulder was a colorful parrot named Tommy. The table had a large map on it which they meticulously inspected with a small lantern that faintly illuminated the room. In the middle of the room sat a large glass container filled with water. A much smaller model of the Whale Hopper bobbed up and down on the water's surface. Below it, colorful fish of all sizes swam around.

"Aye, me boy! Come, lad!" His father shouted. Junior approached the massive table, and his father wrapped his hand around him. "Ye see here, son", his father said, pointing to a large body of water on the map. It stretched continuously throughout the paper, with only small islands scattered around to disrupt it. "This is Thy Great Noble sea. Yer Great Great Great..."

"GREAT", squawked Tommy.

"Aye, Tommy, Great Grandfather, Richard Humblebach the 2nd, mapped out all thy Noble Sea".

"Aye, but he missed a spot!" Jolly Rodger exclaimed, pointing to an area they had scribbled over.

"Aye, Jolly Rodger!" Junior's father grew in excitement as he spoke, "They thought it was a mountain range at thy edge of thy world me boy." He paused and knelt down to Junior's level, "but a vast sea lies beyond it, one that no man nor woman has ever set foot in. I want you to be thy first son." Junior grew in excitement, staring up at his father. "I can see it now me boy! Richard Humblebach the 7th, discoverer of thy new world." His father hoisted him on his shoulders and began dancing around the room merrily. Jolly Rodger joined in and soon all three were frolicking around chanting Junior's name. This went on for quite some time until a sudden shaking of the ship interrupted their celebration. "Father what"s that?" "Don't ye worry son", his father replied approaching the glass container in the middle of the room, "ye see that?" He asked, pointing to a massive snake-like beast swimming under the miniature ship. "That there's a sea worm, a massive creature, but harmless me boy." They watched as the creature passed under the miniature ship and disappeared, with it, the rumbling of the ship also ceased. "Go get some sleep," his father muttered, lifting Junior off his shoulders. "Tomorrow we set sail for thy edge of thy world!"

The following day, Junior was woken up by the splashing waters that rose out from the sea into the ship. His father stood atop the bow strip, peering into his spyglass. Jolly Rodger sat at the helm, steering the massive ship through the jumping waves. "Aye Captain, look!" He shouted. They glided past a small rocky island where two giant crabs bathed in the sun. Behind them, a mountain stretched as high as the clouds, so large that it cast a shadow upon the ship from leagues away. "Aye, we're close, just another day's journey!" Junior's father shouted back from the bow strip.

A full day passed, and as night approached, the dark silhouette of the mountain range loomed over their ship, they were getting close. The pirates trudged on under the neon sky. They anchored the ship offshore and paddled in through the rocky waters. Junior and his father sat in one boat, Jolly Rodger rode luxuriously in another by himself, and five other pirates; having lost a game of blackjack earlier that night, stuffed into the smallest boat. Jolly Rodger paddled in front. His lantern faintly illuminated the neon waters in front of them. As they approached the face of the mountain, Junior noticed that the humming sound in the sky began to grow louder. Junior heard a loud thud and turned around just in time to catch a glimpse of a large crab claw lurching out from the darkness, dragging the crammed paddleboat under the water. A moment of awkward silence passed as Junior's father and Jolly Rodger glared at the bubbling surface...

"...Well me boy, let this be a lesson to never go all in on a weak hand."

"Aye, horrible at blackjack, but good lads. Bless their soul." Jolly Rodger chimed in.

"Well, Jolly Roder, what do ya say we get moving before we become crab food ourselves?"

"Aye captain, I'd say that's a marvelous idea!"

"Father, look!" Junior interrupted, pointing at the whale hopper that was now suspended in the sky. A large creature had extended from the heavens and latched onto the boat. "It's thy sky beast", muttered Jolly Rodger in shock."Put me ship down yer wretched beast!" Junior's father yelled, his voice echoed over the water, catching the creature's attention. All five heads turned toward the men. They were motionless, hoping to blend into the night, but the beast darted toward them at an alarming pace.

"Crab food it is", Jolly Rodger dove into the waters. Junior decided to join him but was caught by his father, "a true Humblebach always goes down with his ship." Junior sighed and puffed out his chest, mimicking his father, ready to face the beast. It stopped only inches from their faces before diving into the water and emerging with Jolly Rodger in its grasp. One of the other heads grabbed Junior and his father. The beast lurched back into the vibrant sky, rising over the mountaintops and into the clouds above. As they got higher and higher, the colorful sky grew more intense and its humming became even louder. As they peaked over the last few clouds, the sky around them disappeared and was replaced by a ceiling. Massive light fixtures of all colors hung from the ceiling and the loud humming sound became even more clear, it sounded as if someone was singing. They rose higher and noticed that the sky beast's neverending neck was attached to the body of a giant pirate. He stood larger than the mountains themselves and had the word, Maintenance, engraved on his clothes. He set them down on a table and returned to the glass container which he had lifted them from. Inside, ships sailed on the water's surface and colorful fish of all kinds swam underneath them. The colorful lights outside the glass tank lit it up in an array of colors. The pirate reached in periodically lifting out ships and other creatures and transferring them to a different tank across the room. Once he had emptied out the entire sea, he reached for the three miniature men. "Run, me boy!" Junior's father shouted as he turned to run, but they were trapped. A mountain-sized bottle of rum stood in their way of escape. The pirate picked them up and carried them to the other tank. All around them, giant pirates danced to loud music. Once over the new tank, Junior's father slashed the pirate's hand with his sword causing him to let go, sending them into free fall toward the waters below.

The next morning, they awoke on the shores of a small island, dazed and confused.

"Is this thy edge of thy world captain?" Jolly Rodger asked.

"Aye, I think so, I had a dream that the sky beast brought us here".

"Aye captain, I had the same one!"

"Me too, father!" Junior exclaimed.

The three stood on the island, staring off into the vast sea around them.

"Well...where's me ship?"

Far above the men, through the clouds, a large neon sign hummed:

Johny's aquarium and disco bar, come in for our pirate-themed karaoke night, every Saturday.