Chocolate Milk Comes From Brown Cows

"So, tell me, what are we doing here?"

"The boss says we wait here, so we wait here."

Michael, a tall slender man of definite southern European descent took a deep breath and adjusted the collars on his dark jacket. "So, where is here? What is this? It's the middle of nowhere and we're staring at a cow."

"It's a bull."

"A bull?"

"A bull?"

"How do you know it's a bull?"

"You can see the balls."

"The ba---what do you know about cow balls?"

"I don't know nothing about cow balls. But, I do know enough that if the cow has balls, it's a bull" replied Danny. A short stocky man who always gave the appearance of being uncomfortable. From the permanent frown on his face to the agitated way he occasionally flexed his neck from side to side while rolling his shoulders backward. He too was of southern European decent, but seemed less so than Michael.

"So, how long we gonna be here?"

"Until they come for us?"

"So when is that gonna be?"

Danny turned too Michael and stared at him with thin lips and squinted eyes. The two of them had been working together for five years and up until this time Danny could not figure out if he really like Michael. Sometimes, he thought he was a good guy and then there were other times Michael was just a pain. This was one of those times.

"Mike, I don't know anymore than you. They told us to come wait here, so here we are. You want answers to questions you gotta go higher up."

Michael grimaced and then sighed a little. He stared out at the bull that stood lonely and silent in the corral. He then turned to look around him in all directions, taking in the strange new world in which he found himself.

"You know, this is crazy. We're in the middle of nowhere. We're in Oklahoma! You know what Oklahoma stands for?"

"No," Danny replied blandly.

"The middle of nowhere" Michael exclaimed. "I can't believe this. The boss says he's sending us out to the Midwest, I'm thinking Chicago, Kansas City or Detroit even. But, here we are in The Middle of Nowhere, Oklahoma."

"It's not for nothing."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, obviously, there is a a reason that we are here. It's not for nothing. We just have to wait."

"Wait for what?"

"Wait to find out why we are here."

"You think it's a good thing or a bad thing?"

"I don't know."

Michael's mind retreated backwards through the last few weeks of his life, trying to pinpoint a wrong m0ve or indiscretion. He tried to remember if he had said the wrong thing or given someone the wrong impression. He knew he was in a business where one careless word or misconstrued move could mean the end of his life. He could not think of a thing. Not a thing! But, for the last few weeks he had been preoccupied with chasing a woman. A twenty three year old brunette who had a figure that could melt ice. He considered himself a real lady's man but this young woman was proving to be a task. He was getting nowhere but he was determined to keep trying.

"I ain't been doing nothing, you know. I been keeping my nose clean, minding my own business."

"You been chasing a skirt." Danny turned to see Michael staring at him with mouth open in surprise. "That hasn't been much of a secret. Tony Z's sister."

That bit of information was a total surprise to Michael. Tony Z was a boss. He was a man who never seemed to move but at the end of the day he was responsible for things getting done. Michael remembered saying hello to him outside of a club. He stared at him with dead eyes and then flashed the slightest of smiles. He didn't say a word. Michael just nodded and turned and walked away; feeling Tony Z's eyes digging into his back as he left.

"I didn't know she was Tony Z's sister. She didn't mention that."

"Well, you know, you fall in love with a chick's ass and your not asking too many questions about her background."

"Hey, it's not like that."

"It's not?"

"I'm legitimately interested in this girl."

"Oh, so you think she's the one?"

"Why not?"

"Because she's Tony Z's sister" Danny replied firmly. "One wrong move and I'm trying to explain what happened to you to your mother."

"Okay, maybe it's not that serious."

"It could get that serious. You wanna fool around, there's plenty a neighborhood girls to fool around with. Girls that won't get you disappeared."

Michael frowned and stared straight ahead, looking out at the bull. The bull stirred for a moment and then lifted its head and seemed to stare directly at Michael. Michael lowered his head and rested his arms on the top rung of the corral and lifted one foot onto the lowest wrong. He silently thought and then lifted his eyes towards the bull again.

"What the hell are we doing here? Did they tell you how long we're supposed to be here?"

"They just told us to wait for the truck."

"Wait for the truck? What are we gonna do, steal the cow?"

"Bull."

"Bull, cow...whatever! What are we, cattle rustlers?"

Danny considered the possibility and thought it was not too far from the realm of possibility. Obviously, there was money being made. The cattle industry. Cattle Barons. He had read about them in history books. Surely, they still existed. Surely, they were still making money. Maybe all it took was to find a prize bull. Maybe this trip to Oklahoma was not the slap in the face he perceived it to be but the opportunity to get in on the ground floor of something big.

"How much do you think that bull is worth?"

Michael shot a quick look at Danny and frowned. "What? Are you expecting an answer or are you just talking?"

"Take a guess."

Michael bobbed his head and rolled his eyes in agitation. "A million dollars" he half shouted.

"You're right" Danny replied.

"What?" Michael's face contorted and he stared out at the bull. "You kiddin' me?"

"No, I'm not. That's not just a bull. That's a prized bull. A stud. You make herds from a bull like that. Worth his weight in gold."

Michael stared, quizzically, at Danny and then looked at the bull. It was magnificently muscled with a huge head. The bull did have a regal look to it, he thought. A king but all alone in a bland, sterile looking kingdom. No subjects anywhere; just two city slickers gawking at him from across a corral fence.

"So, what do you think. The truck comes with some more guys, we grab the bull and make off?" Danny gave a quick shrug but said nothing. "Then what? Someone knows a guy who knows a guy and we sell the thing or we hold him for ransom?"

"Bull-nappers?"

Michael started to laugh, lifted his foot from the bottom rung and stood up straight. The idea genuinely was funny to him. "Bull-nappers. Cattle rustlers, you mean. Like in the old western movies."

"Yeah, two sons of the boot, cattle rustlers."

They both laughed at the idea as a gentle breeze began to blow and the sun got lower in the sky. Danny looked at his watch. They had been waiting for almost two hours. He turned to look at the dark sedan they had rented to get them to this place and for a second thought to suggest that they wait in the car. But, he thought better of it. Once inside the car they both might be tempted to sleep and he didn't want anyone sneaking up on them. Whatever was coming their way, in the time ahead, he wanted to see it coming.

"You know, when I was a kid, me and mother we took a train down to Florida to visit my aunt. My mother's sister."

"Long ride?"

"Yeah! But it was fun! I'd never been on a train. I remember we were riding through North Carolina and we saw these cows. Now, mind you, I was about five years old and I saw these cows and I guess it was the first time I ever tried to figure something out. I was thinking! I looked at those cows and I turned to my mother and said, 'That's were chocolate milk comes from, brown cows.'"

Danny smiled and starting laughing with Michael. "Chocolate milk from brown cows. Makes perfect sense."

With a big smile on his face Michael continued. "She looked at me for a second and then laughed liked crazy. Then she hugged me and held me close for a while. She never said whether I was right or if I was wrong but I felt very confident."

"You were a kid. That made perfect sense. You were lucky to see a cow. The only animals I saw as a kid were dogs and cats. Maybe the occasional squirrel. My folks never even took me to the zoo."

"You never went to the zoo? Not even on a school trip?"

"I was always punished on every school trip. I could never figure out if it was a coincidence or I just didn't want to go on a school trip." Danny stared out at the bull and pondered the slow tiny steps it made as it looked for fresh grass. "Doesn't matter. I was a city kid."

"That's the one thing about being a kid" Michael said, approaching profundity. "Sometimes you don't realize if you had it good or bad until you're all grown up."

Danny looked at Michael, surprise that he could come up with such an idea. He was right. His childhood had not become clear to him until he was far enough away from it to discern what was good and what was bad. Often times he wondered about the zigs and zags, the ups and downs, the events that had put him where he was. He stared out at the bull again and pondered the many things that had led him to this point. Standing outside a corral in the middle of Oklahoma, staring at a bull.

"Hey, you wanna have some fun?"

Danny had become wary of Michael whenever those words left his mouth. Invariably, those words would lead the two of them to be involved in some chicanery that would do neither of them any good. "What kind of fun you talking about?"

"I'll give you fifty bucks if you climb over the railing and slap that bull on it's ass."

Danny stared at Michael and then turned to look at the bull. "Why would I do that?"

"For fifty bucks!"

"I'm not doing that for fifty bucks."

"A hundred."

Danny thought and then took another look at the bull. It's back was turned, giving a clear view of it's enormous rear. It would be easy he thought. The bull looked like it was about to sleep, almost motionless, it's tail flicking away the occasional fly. "You'll give me a hundred bucks if I go out there and slap that bull on the ass?"

"That's what I'm saying."

"Let me see the hundred."

Michael quickly fished his wallet out from his inside jacket pocket and produced two fifty dollar bills. "It's all yours if you can do the deed."

Danny looked at the two fifties in between Michael's fingers and thought that it would be easy money. He would go quietly, get behind the bull and tap the mighty beast on its ass. The bull might not even feel it.

"Come on. I'm not asking you to grab it by the balls or anything. I tell you what. You give me a hundred if I can do it."

"Okay, if I go in there and I don't slap it on the ass, what's in it for you?"

"You give me a hundred. You got it on ya?"

"Yeah, I got it on me." Danny thought for a moment, wondering how this all suddenly occurred. But, Michael was like that. Things happened on a whim. First you are here and suddenly you are there. "Okay, I'll take your hundred" Danny said curtly. Might as well make a buck since I'm out here." Danny quickly peeled off his jacket and in one moment scaled the corral fence. The bull sensed his presence as soon as he hit the ground. The bull did not turn around but he lifted his head as if sensing something in the gentle breeze that blew. Danny stood still for a moment, his eyes glued to the mighty beast. His first step toward the bull was nervous and quiet. The toe of his shiny city boy shoe touched the ground first and long before he lowered the heal. The ground seemed to make a thunderously loud sound as his foot dug firmly into the dirt. The bull did not turn around, It lowered its head, its sudden attentiveness waned. Danny started a slow careful walk toward the bull. He watched for any sudden movement. He was completely ready to turn and flee if the bull turned and came towards him. Losing a hundred bucks was no big thing, but losing your life was. It seemed like forever but Danny finally found himself within an arms length of the bull. He stood for a moment almost at awe of the size of the animal. He felt the power that oozed from the animal. A magnificent beast, worth a million dollars to someone, he thought. Danny stood in back of the bull, almost forgetting the task at hand. He was admiring the animal. He wondered why he and Michael were ordered to the corral. Two sons of the boot ordered to watch over an enormous farm animal in the middle of Oklahoma. It had been a strange day.

"What are you doing?" Michael called out. "I didn't say stare at its ass, I said slap its ass."

Danny quickly remembered his mission and with a quick whip of his arm slapped the beast on its ass. It stung. He felt the firm hot flesh of the beast that did not give an inch as the palm of his hand bounced off. The bull's head rose to glance at Danny, it's right eye seeming surprised to see him still standing behind him. Danny hesitated for a moment and was seemingly in a trance until he heard the loud exultations of Michael behind him.

"Get the hell out of there!"

Danny turned and ran. The bull spun and came running behind him. "Come on, Danny! Run! Run! Don't look back!" Danny could feel the ground behind him rumble as the bull came thundering after him. His eyes were fixed on the corral fence that came closer and closer with each step. He could see Michael's mouth moving but could not hear a word. His thoughts were on survival. What a strange predicament this was he thought. Being chased by a bull. How did this come to be?