How do they keep escaping? How? HOW??
I have no idea by what mechanism or bribed official they keep slipping away in prison, but I will continue to catch them, again and again if I have to! It is what I do that defines me!
I nabbed the kingpin of the local mob syndicate last month. Delivered him to the Police Commissioner on Friday, with all the evidence! Out on bail by Monday, and left town. The top assassin of the mob? Caught with the literal smoking gun still on him! I had painstakingly matched bodies to bullets to gun, and haunted his haunts. Vanished, not even a habeus corpus. Embezzlers, fraudsters, drug dealers, abusers, I’d nail them all, and the cells sit empty. No trials. Gone like they never existed. Maddening!
Well, whatever. I have a new target. I have word that the head of a large crime syndicate is in town, and I will get him! His crimes are many and well-documented, so it’s just a matter of tracking him down…
Hah! Caught him! In. The. Act!! It wasn’t difficult to truss him up and deliver him to the Chief of Police, and I even made them set up a news conference to broadcast the news. Vindication! Proof! Audio and video! I drove off, giddy with triumph.
I am the night! But I also do daytime deliveries!
(And as soon as that ridiculous car turned the corner, I turned to the cameras that were still rolling. I, as acting Chief of Police, un-cuffed the Mayor and apologized. We all know that “The Batman” is just a nutjob with generational wealth, who keeps arresting regular people and proclaiming criminality and manufacturing false evidence. Superheroes don’t exist in this world; neither do supervillains. Eggheads tend to burn themselves out on ketamine or internet fame, rather than re-creating the fantasy world of their favorite comic book. Sad, really, he could have truly made something of himself, but this is what happens when people pay more attention to their video game scores than their wife and kids.)
And on closed-circuit TV, the Riddler laughed hysterically, stuffing popcorn in his face. The Joker sat aside of him, jaw hanging slack, flummoxed that their latest hare-brained idea actually worked. It was such a flimsy idea, kidnapping Batman and sticking him in a virtual reality helmet. They subjected him to more and more ridiculous scenarios, riddled with inconsistencies and plot holes big enough to drive that proverbial Mack truck through, and he bought them! Over and over. Well, strapping him down while unconscious and feeding him psychotropics and nutrients through the line helped. It was their own curated Truman Show, broadcast for the world to see, to destroy his credibility worldwide. Not like sheeple could detect the difference between reality and media fantasy anymore, anyways. And if they ever let him wake up and leave, his burgeoning madness, coupled with bad ratings, would destroy him. Driving him insane was the best idea they’d ever had!
About the Creator
Meredith Harmon
Mix equal parts anthropologist, biologist, geologist, and artisan, stir and heat in the heart of Pennsylvania Dutch country, sprinkle with a heaping pile of odd life experiences. Half-baked.
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By Shannon Hilsonabout 17 hours ago in Fiction
Comments (1)
No need even to send him off to a notorious violation of human rights prison in El Salvador. He'll keep himself entertained within the impotence of his own madness. (Don't let Trump or Musk catch wind of this. They'll entrap us all & act as our proxies to vote for themselves for the rest of time.)