"Good morning, this is Jasmine, thank you for calling, how may I help you?"
"Yes, hello! I am calling to cancel my subscription, please."
"Sure, I can help you with that...can I put you on hold for just one moment."
"Yeah, I guess, sure."
"Thank you for holding, this is Mary, who do I have the pleasure speaking with today?"
"Sure, this is Kelli."
Hi, Kelli. How are you today?
"Hi, I'm fine, thank you."
"Okay, Kelli, again, this is Mary, what can I help you with today?"
"I was just wanting to cancel my subscription, please."
Oh, okay, I need to get you to someone in our subscription department, can you please hold?"
"uh, yeah..."
"Thank you, one moment."
"Good morning, this is April, who do I have the pleasure of speaking with today?"
"Kelli..."
"Oh, hello Kelli, what are you calling about today?"
"April, I am calling to cancel my subscription, PLEASE."
"Oh, is there a problem with your subscription, Kelli?"
"No, I just would like to cancel it, please."
"No problem, I just have a few questions to ask you, do you have a few moments?"
"Yeah, go ahead."
"Great, thank you. I need to move to our cancellation department, hold one second."
"Hello, am I speaking to Kelli?"
"Yes, this is Kelli."
"Hi Kelli, this is Matt, how are you doing today?"
"I'm fine Matt, just want to get this subscription cancelled, please."
"Sure, sure, no problem at all. I have a few follow up questions for you, are you ready?"
"Is that one of the questions?"
What? No, I just wanted you to be clear on what we were doing. Okay, here we go. Question 1, on a scale of one to ten, one being the least likely and ten being, definitely, how would you rate your service with us?"
"five."
"Oh, five. Is there a reason it is in the middle?"
"No, it wasn't great and it wasn't terrible, so five."
"Okay, not great, not terrible, five. Gotcha. Okay, question two. If we could adjust your rate, would you be willing to keep your subscription with us?"
"No, it has nothing to do with your service, I just want to cancel it."
"Oh, so our service is not in question?"
"No, I just don't use it enough to keep it."
"Okay, so you like our service?"
"Yeah, your service was fine, I just don't need it."
Okay, so our service was fine and you don't have a problem with us, great.Okay, then hold on and I will get you to our help service."
"No, Matt, I don't need help, I need to cancel!"
"Okay, one moment, please."
"@!#%"
"Hello, this is Cody, how may I help you?"
"Hey, Cody, I am just trying to cancel my subscription and I've been transferred several times. Can you just please help me with this?"
"Yes, I'm sure I will be able to help you, who do I have the pleasure speaking with today?"
"My name is Kelli, Cody. Can I PLEASE just get this cancelled?"
"Oh, you want to cancel? This is the help desk, Let me get you to someone in our cancellation department."
CLICK
About the Creator
Kelli Sheckler-Amsden
Telling stories my heart needs to tell <3 life is a journey, not a competition
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More stories from Kelli Sheckler-Amsden and writers in Fiction and other communities.
Unvalentined
it's become rather predictable, with all the flowers sprayed a holiday, inventional, to keep the sellers paid a day set, wholly acceptable, putting romance on parade February fourteenths sentimental, and they call it valentines day seems we're all susceptible, as subtle as a snake or razorblade bound to get us all in trouble, wearing a lovers accolade what seems harmless and elemental, leaves you needing a band-aid affections turned to rituals, handled like a hand grenade everyone is expendable, you can't escape unscathed first blood is unforgettable, until everyone is maimed so hold on to you receptacle, not everyone enjoys getting sprayed the carnage can be survivable, when love is written on a heart shaped page ***
By Kelli Sheckler-Amsden6 days ago in Fiction
If You Love Me, You'll Do It
I met Jason when I was five years old. I could say that I loved him from the moment I saw him. He was so handsome to me and I felt in awe by his presence. When they introduced him as the new kid in school, I wanted to be his friend right away. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember his smile and how he didn't seem shy. He appeared confident and ready to learn. I waved at him and said "hello," before anyone else could even say a word. He sat next to me, and I asked him if he wanted to be friends. He looked so happy as he said, "Yes!"
By Sidney Smith (Sid Smith)6 days ago in Fiction
'20/20'
"Do It Again" the track that would ultimately open the Beach Boys final album on Capitol Records which was released on February 10th 1969 had originally been released as a single in August of 1968. The track was the first of many post-Pet Sounds era throwbacks to the early Beach Boys sound which would become continually more cliched and eventually lead the Beach Boys to the level of self-parody they would eventually succumb to in the 1980s while their closest contemporaries The Beatles nearing the end of their run in 1969 would go on to be viewed as the most influential band of all time. However, the song itself is not bad on its surface, and it opens with a futuristic sounding (for 1969) drumbeat captured by then-Beach Boys engineer Stephen Desper using tape delays on the drums performed by Dennis Wilson and John Guerin. The song has been re-recorded numerous times over the years on various Beach Boys-related projects most notably the 2011 re-recording at Capitol studios featuring the five surviving Beach Boys at the time backed instrumentally by various members of both the Brian Wilson Band and Mike Loves touring "Beach Boys" to promote the then upcoming Beach Boys 50th Anniversary reunion tour in 2012. The hammering and power drill sound at the end of the song was an excerpt from a track called "Workshop" that was to be a part of the uncompleted "SMiLE" album.
By Sean Callaghan6 days ago in Beat
Comments (6)
Even worse when you get transferred to an AI! Well captured frustration Kelli!
Well-wrought! Have experienced this many times! Though now you tend to get passed along from one automated robotic voice to another...
Amazing. Have had ALMOST THIS EXACT conversation several times! :)
True. Sometimes, unsubscribe does not work too. But bill continues.
I'm laughing because this is soooo true. I hate calling customer service; you always get the runaround.
By the time I got to Cody, my sides were aching!! Hilarious and true!!! Brilliant, Kelli!