Can't Stop the Train

Amelia took a deep breath and slowly stretched her neck from side to side. Click click click Clack. Click click click Clack. The lulling rhythm and slight swaying motion relaxed her. Wait, where am I? She thought to herself. The uncertainty of the situation forced her to open her eyes. Like coming out of a trance, she rapidly blinked her eyes to focus.

She sat alone on a red cushioned bench seat and took in her surroundings. Amelia knew she was in some sort of railcar. She verified she was on a train through the window as first a mountain came into view and then a row of trees passed by. Click click click Clack. Click click click clack. Her heart beat faster. A panicked search of her pockets produced no clues… and no ticket. This can’t be good. Will they kick me off at the next stop? Where IS the next stop? WHERE AM I?

Amelia took a deep breath and slowly exhaled to calm her short, rapid breathing as she looked ahead and saw another person in her railcar. Taking a moment to get it together, she got up and walked towards the woman.

“Excuse me, but where are we?” Amelia asked her as she slowly sat in the seat across the aisle, doing her best not to look and sound as panicked as she was. Her heartbeat must have been audible to the woman, as it was thudding in her ears. Calm. Be calm. Breathe.

The woman did not respond, only turned her head to look at her questioningly. Then, ever so slowly turned her head back to facing forward.

“Okay, thanks?” Amelia muttered, and she got up and walked to the next railcar. “That was weird.”

There were a few people in this car, all seated straight forward in silence. Click clickclick clack… click clickclick clack. Is the train speeding up? Odd, since we are not on a hill. I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.

“Excuse me sir, but where are we?” she asked the gentleman in the back row. He turned to her with a confused look, then faced forward.

Rude? she thought to herself as she moved to the next person. As she knelt to ask where they were, the first woman she had asked came through the door. She gazed at Amelia with a strange blank look, almost as if she was looking through her. The man she had just asked now looked at her with that same blank stare. The hairs on her arms and neck bristled upward with goosebumps as a heavy weight sank in her stomach. Amelia stood and walked to the next railcar.

“These people have some serious issues!” she said out-loud, as she closed the door behind her. Clickity clickclick clack, clickity clickclick clack… they were getting closer together. The train was definitely speeding up, much like her heart beating in her chest. She looked out the window, and a snow-capped mountain came into view, then multiple trees were whooshing past the window, just as before. In-fact… exactly as before, only faster.

Six people sat scattered throughout the car. All of them slowly turned to look at her with the same creepy blank stare as the other two.

“What the Hell?…” she muttered as she slowly walked forward. Amelia gathered all of her courage, inhaled and asked, “Can anyone please tell me where we are and where we are going?” She waited for an answer she knew she would not get.

None replied. Instead, all six of them stared at her without blinking, then stood up in unison and started to move towards her.

“N-no need to get up….” Amelia stuttered as she stumbled backwards towards the door she had just entered through. She steadied herself by grabbing the back of each booth seat as she went. They continued to walk slowly towards her as a group.

“Yeah, screw this…” she said as she turned and ran straight into the older woman and gentleman from before. A few others stood behind them as well. Panic-stricken, her fight-or-flight instinct kicked in as she ducked low and pushed through them to the door to the other car. She slammed the door shut and ran through the railcar, and again to the next railcar.

Amelia tried to calm her explosive heart rate and panicked breathing as she crouched down behind the first seat. Maybe they didn’t follow me, maybe they lost interest. She took a chance and stretched up to look through the door window to see if they had followed. Of course, they had. They were no longer people, but dark shadowy beings moving as one towards the door. They still had that same creepy stare, but now had a hint of menacing intentions, giving her shivers once again.

What is HAPPENING? Amelia ran to the back of the railcar and flung the door open, only to run into the handrails on the back platform of the train. The wind coming off the train almost knocked her off onto the tracks. The train was going much faster than it had been when she woke up just a little while before and showed no signs of slowing down. Clickity Clickity CLACK, Clickity Clickity CLACK. A snow-topped mountain appeared and several trees began passing by.

This cannot be a coincidence. It’s the EXACT mountain and trees I saw before! This time, however, it was snowing. Not just any snow, but strangely balled up snow mixed with what appeared to be glitter. Seriously, WHERE AM I? She thought as she looked around for a way out. Same scene… strange snow… GLITTER… Am I in a freaking SNOW GLOBE? Her mind was spinning as she turned back into the railcar, as there was absolutely NO WAY she was jumping off at this ridiculous speed.

She pulled the door shut against the wind and leaned back against it, panting as she tried to get herself together. Think Amelia, think. How do you get off this TRAIN? The dark shadow creatures walked towards her from the other end of the railcar. Several of them smirking as they were closing in on her.

Clickity Clickity Clickity CLACK. Clickity Clickity Clickity CLACK. Faster and faster, the train continued to pick up speed, rocking back and forth, no longer in a comforting lull. She steadied herself on the door so she wouldn’t fall or pass out. Amelia looked around frantically. I can’t be here. I need to get out. I NEED to get out!

As the menacing creatures came slowly closer, their dark sick energy caused a hot/cold sweat to cover her body. She looked around and noticed a coffee cup on the tray in the seating area next to her. Looking at the cup, her mind desperately screamed again, I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE! I NEED TO GET OUT!

Multiple octopus-like coffee strands came out of the coffee cup, expanding like an umbrella and just as suddenly as they appeared, pulled her in.

Coffee. The smell was overwhelming as it invaded her nostrils and woke her up. A cold metal chair was beneath her and her head was lying on her folded arms on the table. She slowly sat up and looked around the coffee shop she was seated in.

“Oh my god,” she laughed out loud with a slight snort. “WHAT A NIGHTMARE! Maybe I should lay-off the coffee.”

There was a large cream-colored coffee cup on the table with some heavenly smelling scones on a tiny plate with jam next to it. A barista at the counter called out an order and a few customers were sitting at several small quaint café type tables.

“I’m such a spaz,” she said quietly and chuckled at herself. She sighed and looked around at the cute little coffee shop, calming herself down from her dream. This is fine, everything is fine but, how did I get here? I haven’t been here before. Why do I recognize this place? Amelia slowly stood up and looked around, hoping to find anything she could focus on to calm her down.

She noticed a painting on the wall of a snow globe. She looked closer at the details and felt herself relax slightly. Swirling, glittery, snow painted perfectly… and an old-time train. There was the snow-covered mountain she had seen, and the groups of trees laid out perfectly in the same pattern from her dream. The exact pattern. She laughed openly at herself again. “Was I looking at the painting when I fell asleep?” she said aloud.

The two customers at the table directly below the painting stopped mid conversation and slowly turned their heads towards her. Blank stares and all.

“Oh no. No, no, no, no, that’s not funny,” she muttered as she moved away from both her table and the two staring at her. The sudden movement caused her coffee mug to fall with a crack and a splash as coffee covered the café floor. More customers turned to stare at her. “So freaking rude.” She said as she covered her face and stumbled slightly as she turned, and made her way towards the back of the coffee shop. A sob caught in her throat as she tried to control herself.

When she reached the hallway into the back of the shop, she placed one hand on the wall to steady herself, just for a moment. You’re imagining things, Amelia. Get your shit together. She glanced back to prove it to herself. The hair on her arms and neck spiked up again and her jaw dropped as she saw the customers now all dark shadowy creatures making their way towards her. When the shock wore off she ran into the long hallway.

“Come on, open, open, please open!” she whimpered as she twisted and shook the first doorknob. Amelia felt her heart pounding in her ears, her sporadic breathing coming back. Calm down, calm down, breathe, breeeeeathe. She told herself, as one after the other, the doors didn’t open.

“Leave me ALONE!” She screamed desperately as she turned down another hall. Tears fell down her cheeks, from fear or anger she wasn’t completely sure.

The ominous figures continued to get closer. Amelia threw a short bookshelf from the wall to the ground as she ran past it, hoping to slow them. “I said LEAVE ME ALONE!” she yelled again, her face burning. Yes, there was definitely anger. At the end of the hallway, stood a giant mirror.

“No, no, no!” she wailed into the mirror. She banged her hands against it with both open palms, then the bottom of her closed fists. There was nowhere to go, no place that she could hide. These sinister dark beings, or demons, were going to get her, no matter what she did. She put her face in her hands, sobbing into them.

Keep breathing, stay calm, don’t give up. Amelia pulled her hands down and looked in the mirror to face herself. What she saw was an exhausted, tired, beaten down version of herself. What has become of me? How had things gotten this bad?

In the mirror over her shoulder, she could see the creepy, dark creatures. She could feel their darkness surrounding her again as they blocked out the light. It was getting so hard to breathe. These dark creatures, or demons, HER demons? Her fears?

“Well, I’m not going down without a fight!” She screamed into the mirror. “No more running!”

She gathered all the energy she could from her emotional broken self and all the strength from her exhausted body. With tears in her eyes, and determination blaring from within, she turned towards the darkness that came to consume her.

Amelia rose her hands above her head while drawing in a deep, intentional breath. Then she slammed her foot to the ground and dropped her arms straight down as she let out a ragged and emotional scream, as if she was throwing her very soul at the creatures. Energy flew from her body towards the demons in a blast of waves. The walls bowed out slightly and the mirror behind her cracked.

She had no time to brace herself as they ran into her, one after another, inflicting the emotional pain she had run from for so long. One after another, her fear, her sorrow, her guilt, crashed into her, slamming her backwards against the mirror. In slow motion the glass shattered, shards flew, and glistening specks floated around the air in swirls. But she didn’t stop at the mirror. She continued to fall backwards, her feet in the air, into the darkness behind her.

“I’m so sorry, Nicole,” she said into the darkness as she cried tears for her best friend who she’d lost in a car accident. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there with you. It should have been me.”

Sadness overwhelmed her as she fell further, finally letting herself feel the deep loss of her friend, and the survivors’ guilt along with it, as she ran memories through her head like a home movie. As she thought about all the good times they had had together, she cried even more. “I miss you so much,” she whispered.

After what seemed like an eternity, Amelia’s descent slowed, and the darkness faded. As she fell backwards onto a couch, she still felt the intense pain in her heart and tears streamed down her cheeks. “Where the heck am I now?” she said out loud, with a slight sob in the middle. Taking a quick glance around, she realized she was finally back home. Shattered pieces of her mirror lay on the floor.

“Breathe Amelia, you can get through this.” she said as she began getting dressed for the funeral, letting herself cry the entire time.

Facing fears and letting yourself feel your emotions doesn’t take the fear or pain away, but it makes room for growth or to heal.