Camp Granada

Dear Mom: Day 1 - I'm not sure this is the best place for me to "toughen up," as Dear Old Dad says. So what if I am a bit plump? I'm also short, are you going to put me on a rack to "straighten out" quite literally? So what if I prefer reading to playing sports? I think you're barking up the wrong tree. Speaking of trees, these are pretty creepy around here. Half are dead, and the other half have all kinds of vines hanging from them, like they're snakes or something waiting for you to look away before they strike. The first day of summer camp isn't the best time to pull out the word "ominous." I'm going to tell my camp mates stories tonight to keep them awake listening for those vines to slither down and strangle them. At least then their snoring won't keep me awake!

Dear Mom: Day 2 - Well, we can't go swimming any more. Some of the older boys were horse playing before we got in, and one went under and never came up. I think he's hiding on the far side of the pier, really, to give us a fright, but some are already whispering. I may have started that whispering. It's fun telling stories! Dear Old Dad took out the books I packed to bring along, so I'm making them up from what I remember. I ate the dessert of the one who's "missing."

Dear Mom: Day 3 - Arts and Crafts is a joke. God's-eyes? Sand candles? Really? Boring! So I swiped the old radio they had playing, and rigged it up to the light switch. Our counselor got quite a shock at lights out! They took him away in an ambulance, the softy. That's what Dear OLD Dad calls me, right? A softy? I'll bet I can get his dessert tomorrow too. I know a lot more about electronics, and chemistry, than I let on. I've read a lot of books.

Dear Mom: Day 4 - No more Archery. It was a fair shot! Not my fault little Jimmy Spitz was in front of the target! Yeah, I know, I know, always look down range before shooting, blah blah. So fine, they said I can't go horse back riding either. Well, they cancelled that too, because someone didn't latch the gate properly. The wasps are pretty bad around here, especially since it looks like someone smeared honey all over the top of the water trough. A few of the counselors went out to look for them. Horses can run fast. I ate a few of the extra meals, since you wouldn't really want them to go to waste. They don't expect the counselors to come back till morning.

Dear Mom: Day 5 - Hike went pretty well, though we lost a couple of camp mates. Looks like someone told them the wrong route, sent them down the wrong valley, something like that. Other counselors went to look for them, muttering that this group was cursed and they wanted nothing to do with the camp anymore. At least the food's pretty good, since I got five plates' worth.

Dear Mom: Day 6 - Tying knots is pretty fun! Of course I went for a difficult one, but I got the hangman's noose working perfectly. One of the other guys stole it to try it out. That didn't end well. But my rope works perfectly! They took it away as evidence. I really wanted to keep it. Can you buy me some rope? I'd like to practice after camp's over.

Dear Mom: Day 7 - What do you mean you're sending me to boarding school as soon as camp ends?? What are you saying, that you don't want me around my little brother with these new ideas? Is this Dear OLD Dad's idea?? I have feelings too, you know! I was so upset that I didn't eat, and it looks like it was a good thing. A small outbreak of food poisoning, nothing to worry about. I think.

Dear Mom: Day 8 - A bunch of the counselors tried to quit, they were forced to stay because of us kids. Something about a proper ratio of adults to minors. The staff has to sub for the ones that are in the hospital, except that some have already come up with odd excuses for not being able to do it. Like, one says he's allergic to poison ivy, so can't be in the woods. And one says another tick bite will give him rabies or something. So stupid. Ticks don't carry rabies.

Addendum: Well, the one guy's really allergic to poison ivy after all. It was all over his bed sheets somehow. The secretary's calling all the parents to start picking up kids. When are you coming for me? I have lots more stories to tell.

Dear Mom: Day 9 - Rocky mountain spotted fever, that's the right tick disease. I guess we have some cases, unless fever, chills, vomiting, and blinding headaches are normal summer cold symptoms. Lots of ticks in the cabins, they said. Don't they fumigate or something? The kids that are allergic to bee stings have been preemptively evacuated, and it looks like they were right. Some joker messed with the hives they keep at the far end of the field, and they swarmed us in the afternoon. So much for swimming not being allowed! We all went running for the water. Lots of screaming and crying. Softies. I only got stung once. I'm fine. The food's really good, I can have as much as I like now.

Dear Mom: Day 10 - Mom, something's wrong. My letters are coming back Return to Sender. The secretary says the phone's not working, she can't even get a dial tone. What gives?

Dear Mom: Day 11 - Main hall burned down. For such old, spongy wood, it sure went up fast. Fire marshal says accelerant was definitely used. They're watering the outside of the cabins now, and there's talk of taking the rest of us and setting up tents in the meadow. Wonder what the ants that live there will think about that.

Dear Mom - Day 12 - I was right, the ants didn't like it. But they liked the piles of sugar that were in every tent, tucked away in the back. The campers didn't like them at all. I asked one of the counselors, would spiders have been worse? He just gave me the strangest look and walked away. What did I say?

Dear Mom: Day 13 - It looks like our mosquitoes really don't carry any scary diseases around here. That's disappointing. But the knot tying class turned out to be good in another way - traps and deadfalls rely on good rope work. Really good rope work. I didn't know bones were so bright white when exposed like that. Good medical knowledge.

Dear Mom: Day 14 - Mom, I don't like this school master. He arrived today instead of you and Dear Old Dad, got my stuff, and we're on the road to boarding school. Watch me closely? For what? I tried to call you, but it wouldn't even connect. The boarding master says something about you being busy with the move and all. What move? Why didn't you tell me? How am I supposed to come home for the holidays if I don't know where you are? He says the food's good, though, so there's that. Camp food was getting bland there at the end, I was avoiding everything that tasted like bitter almonds. Can't be too careful, not with my tummy. Headmaster says I should have a diary instead of writing to you every day. That's not a bad idea, and they said something about a nice adult to talk to about stuff. How I feel about others, and my family. He said I should share my diary with him, and these letters. And how I know so much about what went wrong at camp, details I shouldn't know.

As long as the food's good, I guess I'll try it for a while.