Bread across barbed wire

The Weight of Sweat

The summer sun scorched the rooftops as Kurt dragged himself home from school, sweating lines down his dust-covered face. upon arriving home, his mother woke up, who was taking a siesta rest break. She woke up and fried yesterday’s cooked beans by adding some tomatoes and served him the meal. After making his lunch, his mother told him to check upon his father, who did not come to the lunch, which was unusual.

Upon listening to his mother Kurt nodded his head in positivity. He picked up a handful of apricots into his pocket and swimwear and went out closing the door behind him with a bang.

Kurt was of the thought that he would tell his father to go home for lunch, and then go to the creek for swimming, in order to beat the summer’s intensity.

As he went to the shop to check on his father, he was met by a shock when he saw the shop empty, and he asked the fellow shopkeepers about his father. They told him that his father had suffered from a heart attack and had been taken to the hospital. Upon hearing this Kurt’s face got pale and his body got hanged like a statue. And his ears were only listening to the whistles that can be heard after an explosion. And Kurt came into senses when an elderly uncle gave him his swimwear which was fallen from his hands. As he got stabilized, he rushed home to inform his family.

Kurt covered the distance towards home at the speed of light and entered the home with a bang on the door. His mother came out of the room and asked if everything was all right. He told her the whole story about his father, she calmed him down and gave him a couple of grands, which his father gave her for his college fees. He took the money and left for the hospital in hurry. As he reached hospital he was met by his relatives and neighbors, they told him that his father had suffered a heart attack, and now he needs immediate heart surgery, and the doctors demand high fees for the operation. Kurt got blank for few moments, and then he dialed a few numbers of his relatives to lend him some money for the surgery. He arranged the fees and his father’s surgery was done and with the help of God the surgery went successful.

The Heartbeat of Debt

Kurt returned home with a rare lightness in his step—his father’s recovery was a miracle—but the weight of unpaid debts still loomed like storm clouds. And as the time passed, the people started asking for their money. And now the debt payment issue has become a permanent table argument in home. One day Kurt suggested his father leave college and go abroad to earn money to pay off the debts, and to support the family because the doctors prohibited his father from engaging in any sort of physical and stressful work and the income from the shop was hardly enough to pay grocery bills and school fees for the children. But his father denied his suggestion and told him to continue his education and it’s not his time to earn money yet. And his father told him that he will sell the shop to pay the debts. Kurt left the dining table and went out for a walk and met with his friend Zahid. They talked for a while and Kurt told the whole story to Zahid. He told him that he has a connection with a travel agent who can get you abroad with a minimum amount. They both agreed upon meeting the travel agent by tomorrow and departed for their homes. Although Kurt was happy to see a light of hope and solution, the next problem was about the persuasion of his family to give him permission and arrange the travel expenses abroad.

A Risky Escape Plan

As the next day started, he met with Zahid, and they went to meet the travel agent he told them that to go legally to Europe it will Coast them millions but if you cannot afford that, I know another cheap way, but that will be illegal and as well as full of risks of death. Kurt told the agent to brief him in detail about the process and expenses, which were way lower than the legal process, and they told him that we will inform you about our decision in a few days.

After going home Kurt discussed the matter with his mother to persuade his father, that if we sold the shop for the payment of debts we wont be able to generate an income and all the four siblings would have to leave the schools as well, but if I reached Europe I will be able to earn enough money to feed the whole family and repay the debt. His mother told the story to his father, and he called him to sit with him, to discuss the matter. His father told him:

“Son you are19 years old and the way, which you want to go through, have laid down thousands of death traps, and have already taken the lives of other ambitious men like you. Therefore, I strongly suggest you stay here and study, and if you are insisting on earning money you can work here in your own country.”

But Kurt convinced him that with the prayers of his family he will accomplish all those hardships in his path and convinced him that with a college degree he cannot find a high salary job, which would not solve their problem. And after a debate of few hours, his father gave him permission in a subdued tone. And said, I will talk with Abbas who told me to inform him if we were to sell the shop, you can go tomorrow and take the money from him. Kurt nodded affirmatively and went to his room.

By next dawn Kurt was present in the office of the travel agent along with Zahid, they gave him the money, and he introduced them to a guide, who guided Kurt about the time of departure and the things needed. The guide told Kurt to enlist himself with an Afghan family, which was done with the help of an Afghan friend of Zahid, and they did all the required paperwork in few weeks. Yet there was time till the beginning of the journey. Their journey was scheduled to begin on the 3rd of the following month; there were a few days left which he utilized for shopping for some journey necessities for himself and spent most of the time with his family.

Into The Shadows of The Border

At last, the day arrived. Kurt hugged his family for what might be the final time and made his way to the rendezvous point, heart thudding like a war drum. From there he along with 32 other people, and the guide rode a bus travelling to Quetta. From Quetta they went to Kandahar and spent their night there.

And by next morning their journey was towards the border city of Afghanistan named Zaranj, and the group members staged as to be religious preachers and reached the town of Zaranj by twelve o clock. They did their lunch there and waited for the darkness to continue their journey towards the border, as the darkness prevailed over the sky, they rode a truck which got them near the border through unpaved roads and they were dropped in a valley from where they had to walk by foot for the rest of the night and crossed the riverine, and by the dawn they had crossed the border, although Iranian Border Guards were patrolling continuously, but the guide was skillful and had the knowledge of territory.

And they reached to the highway near the town of Milak, from where they were loaded into three different trucks which were carrying goods to Zabol city, but that was their front business only, in reality they were collaborating with human trafficking rings and its representative which was the guide of Kurt and his group, to whom they call as Katchakbar.

They reached Zabol after a journey of hours, thirsty and hungry and were dropped by an old warehouse in the suburbs. They had to spend the rest of the day, they were offered that much which was necessary for survival and some members of the group got ill and needed medical attention but the Katchakbar along with his two new fellow members told them that they cannot provide them with a doctor and it may get us caught, although provided them with some painkillers. And by evening they started their journey again towards Tebriz, in a large truck carrying transport goods. Everyone filled their bottles of water and sat down in a secret cabin in the truck. The cabin was so small causing suffocation of the people after a few hours of journey. And one of the immigrants was having Asthma, and was unable to breath properly, and all other people seeing him in this condition got panicked and started to knock the truck walls. Kurt calmed them down and told them that the driver wouldn’t stop the truck at all, but we should get off the clothes of the patient and he made some small holes in the truck panel to allow fresh air to enter and gave the medicines to the patient. And after half an hour the patient got stable, and the people calmed down.

And Kurt kept watching the beautiful landscape in the small holes, while taking a sip of water along with a loaf of bread and thinking “how vast, how achingly beautiful this world must be, skies stretching forever, winds roaming freely over fields and oceans. Yet here I am, caged in the steel belly of a truck, a forgotten soul among crates and shadows, gasping not just for air, but for meaning. Outside, the world moves without chains. Inside, we are ghosts, driven not by will, but by the cruel necessity of survival and the fading echo of dreams”.

Kurt was awakened from his world of daydreaming and imaginations by the halt of the truck engine and the looming voices of few Persian speakers. He peeked through the hole and noticed a few uniforms wearing young lads holding Kalashnikovs in their hands and an officer with a register, and Kurt told fellow immigrants to stay quiet. And after a routine checkup and paperwork the engine of the truck started again, and the journey continued. And a few more checkpoints were crossed, and Kurt could witness the change in the day by the light coming through small holes, and after a journey of 51 hours they were finally dropped into the warehouse of an old factory which was burned in riots against Reza Shah’s monarchy. They rested and stayed there for the next few days, because the border situation was not appropriate for a further journey. And as the days passed, they faced problems, food was not available and there was no healthcare for sick people.

After six days of waiting, guide told them that we will start our journey towards Türkiye this afternoon. They were divided into groups of 11 each and were loaded into two lorries and travelled towards to the town of Khoy and from there they went to a village named Marakami near the Tukey’s border. When they reached there, they were received by a local villager having connection with Kathchakbar, he gave them shelter and food. And once the darkness prevailed, they started their journey by foot towards the border.

Due to recent tensions along the border security was strong and the border forces from both sides were alert and patrolling. As they approached the mountains near the border, guide told them that no one in any case is allowed to create any noise or use any light. All the immigrants nodded their heads as a gesture of understanding and continued the journey. As they covered a few miles some people faced breathing problems and were tired, the guide told them that whoever lagged behind I will not be responsible for him we will not stop until we cross the border, and if anyone was left behind in case of emergency and survived, he must reach to the pointed out poultry house in the village of Bolucek. And after an hour of journey a boy named Mustafa slipped his foot and fell into a ditch, and as he fell down a boulder also slipped behind him and rolled down over his lower abdomen. They all ran over towards him and upon seeing him a few people started vomiting and even one went unconscious after seeing the sparkling blood coming out of his mouth and his flattened abdomen and damaged organs. The sound of boulder was quite loud, and the quietness of night was working as an amplifier maximizing its sound, therefore border forces got alert and, in few moments, search lights from both sides were directed towards that hill. The guide told them to leave Mustafa and run behind the large rocks to avoid security forces. And after an exhausting running of half an hour they relaxed and started a normal downwards journey on the Turkish side of the border. And in that period, they also heard some crossfires on the hill where the incident had happened, but they were lucky enough to get out on time. And due to the incident, the guide changed the path after talking with someone on a satellite phone, and they were now going towards a valley a few miles away from the village. Kurt saw the sun shining on the Turkish and Iranian border mountains. They continued their journey towards the west until reaching a truck on a rough road. After travelling all night, they reached the truck which seemed to be having fault, because the driver was repairing it, but as the immigrants approached the driver packed up the tools and opened the backside of the truck and waved his hand to the guide for coming fast. They all ran towards him and rode the truck in a few minutes. Although the space in the truck was very small, but due to the tiring journey and unfortunate incident of Mustafa’s death, they were all silent and laying over each other like cattle with their thirst and hunger.

Next stop was the city of Van, where they stayed for a week in Kurdish town. And were accommodated there by a local man who was in touch with Katchakbar (the guide). He provided some medicines to patients as well. After a few days of stay, they were divided into two groups dressed as tourists and started their journey towards Izmir while bypassing larger cities to avoid police to which the guide called as “uncles”.

At The Gates of Europe

As they reached Izmir, they were received by another guide he was responsible for their journey forward. His name was Hassan who was working for a smuggling ring. They stayed in a small dock yard for few days and then were loaded to a small fishing boat, which was sailing across the Aegean Sea towards Greece.

After travelling for hours, the boat reached near the Greek water, and suddenly a violent horn was heard, followed by a voice from a speaker of the Turkish Coast Guards patrolling boat. The captain stopped the boat and Hassan stood up, who was pretending to be fishing. They welcomed the officers and showed their documents to them, but they were not convinced and started a search in the boat, and they checked the boat but found nothing instead of stale fish smell from containers in the boat, although all the people were lying in a modified cabin below that. After the departure of coast guards the boat waited for the dark and then started the journey forward. After travelling for a while, the boat reached to the jurisdiction of Greek Coast Guards and due the absence of any legal documents they had to avoid contact with the Coast Guards at any Coast. But unfortunately, a patrolling boat spotted in the waters and Hassan told the captain to stop the engine of the boat, and as the boat passed, they ignited the engine and moved forward, but this was observed by that patrol boat which returned unexpectedly, and a loud voice from a megaphone broke the silence of the night. And upon hearing this and considering the distance Hassan told the captain to accelerate the boat further, even though the Coast Guards were saying Halt! in Greek and then in English but they ignored it and continued forward. And after a few warnings they started firing on the boat, which damaged fuel tank, yet they made it to the beach and started running and during that few people were injured by the coast guards and they were left behind, and the other immigrants ran behind Hassan and the boat’s captain. And out of 32 people, 26 people were remaining and they were running towards the trees at the beach of Archampoli and there, they all ran away irregularly through bushes and small forests in order to reach the town of Karystos. But unfortunately, Kurt lagged because one of his fellow friends had asthma due to which he couldn’t run fast for a long distance, therefore Kurt took his baggage as well and they both walked for four hours towards the South and finally saw a house, and they walked towards that home. They entered the yard of the house and were welcomed by an old lady, who saw them in very poor and miserable conditions, their shoes were torn apart, and their hair and clothes were full of dirt and mud. Seeing them in this situation, she treated them with great tenderness and care. She told them that her name was Sophia, and she welcomed them to her home and gave them water to drink and served them some food and prepared two beds for them to rest.

Although they were not understanding her language, but she showed them an old album of her family photos, which showed a young Greek man with large mustaches wearing ottoman soldier’s uniform. What they were able to understand from that picture was that her family was beside the Turks during the Greek rebellion against ottomans and she had lost her husband in that wars, and she was telling that story to them and they were nodding their heads as if they were comprehending the story, but in reality the situation was totally different, they had no idea at all.

After staying for a night at the house of old lady (Sophia), she gave them clean clothes and new shoes and got them on a lorry to let them reach the town of Karystos. After travelling for a few hours, they reached the shop, which was shown to them by Hassan, as a meeting point in case of an emergency. As expected, they found Hassan over there working in that shop and he led towards the storehouse of the shop where other members were waiting.

After a stay of a few days, they started their melancholic journey again, this time they rode a container carrying trailer which was disguised as a transport company vehicle carrying medical equipment. They entered the container, and it was sealed after them, and the trailer headed for its new destination Kozani. Although it was seven hours way but due to stops along the way made it seventeen hours of journey. Even though their number decreased, the space was very small, and they faced difficulty while breathing after a few hours of journey. But they tolerated the hardships and finally reached to a medical complex in Kozani where they got off the trailer in a storehouse and were shifted to an abandoned community center in the suburbs. And by next day they were transported the border town of Niki, where they stayed for few days and waited for their new guide who was responsible for their transporting to Serbia. After a few days of waiting, they were introduced to an Albanian truck driver who told them that they will have to hid in his modified compartment in the truck of ceramic tiles. They acted upon his words and rode the truck, half-heartedly and their journey started towards North Macedonia. And while crossing the borders the routine search was done, and fortunately security forces found nothing suspicious, and they continued their journey towards Skopje. And from there they kept going towards Belgrade. Where they were dropped in a safe house and they stayed there for few days and then started their journey towards the border of Hungary via local routes avoiding main roads because of the strict check and control of highways. Although this time they were able to travel like normal humans but under the fear of being caught by the authorities. And even though they were pulled out for their documents checking, but thanks to the diplomatic skills of the guide who gave some money the police, whom they called as uncles. And they finally reached to the border of Hungary, where they had to cross the border by foot. Before crossing the border, they stayed in a nearby village and took some equipment for cutting fences and a ladder as well. As they reached near the border they hid in a bush and waited for the passing of the border security patrolling party. After a while two military jeeps passed and after they disappeared, two other jeeps appeared in five minutes, and this circle was repeated after every 30 minutes. As they passed away the guide told them to take the ladder with them and run towards the fences. They ran for about 600 meters of distance crossing the road and reached the first fence and used ladder to cross the first fence, they crossed the first fence successfully and ran for a further fifty meters of distance to reach the middle line of fences. This time the guide told them to obey his instructions which he had given them yesterday. He had instructed them to wear dark layered clothes, in order to avoid high voltage current and security forces. They took out three big wire cutters and started cutting the fence with speed because they knew that it would send an alarm to the nearest watch tower and a patrolling squad would be present there in 15 minutes, the guide told them to hurry up and make a hole in the fence. They made a hole in 8 minutes and started crossing. And after two minutes, a patrol vehicle appeared a mile away and they started rushing. And unfortunately, due to panic, one person touched the fence, and he was electrocuted instantly, his body stiffening mid-flight, and the four other people behind him cried out—softly, hopeless chirps, fading like echoes in the wind. They tried to pull away, their body trembling with fear, but the current caught them too. One by one, they fell silent, their tiny forms turning cold and blue. The air, once filled with life, now mourned in silence.

And after seeing this, Kurt became like a statue unable to do anything except stare at them and it looked like a picture from the day of judgment, because everyone was running for their own lives and no one could help them at all. Kurt was seeing their faces which had become an image of helplessness and agony. He stood still until someone shook him back to reality and told him to run forward and they ran towards the last fences and climbed it with the help of the ladder. And in those moments the security forces had arrived and started firing over them and after remaining at last Kurt got shot in his elbow but fortunately, he fell on the other side of the fence and fellow immigrants helped him get up and they ran towards the trees. And they went to the city of Szeged using local transport. During their stay at Szeged, Kurt showed his hand to a veterinary doctor which was affiliated with their guide. And they stayed there for two days and then started their journey towards the city of Mosonmagyarovar through local transport buses. They stayed there for two days and then started their journey towards Vienna, the city of music. They rode a CNG trailer which had a secret compartment. They were divided into a group of three people and each group had to share one compartment. After a few hours of journey, they were dropped in Vienna safely.

Vienna marked the final stop on their shared journey. Some cried, some smiled, but Kurt just stared at the sky—empty of fear, yet hollow of joy. After departing from them Kurt called a friend of his relatives named Ali, who was staying in Germany and had already told him to call him, once Kurt arrives at Austria, he can easily pick him from there. And upon talking with him they agreed to meet by the next day. Kurt spent that night at a bench in a park, staring at the sky all night and thinking about his upcoming plans, but he was not experiencing any happiness that can be felt after an achievement, and it felt like the journey had drained all emotions from him. And he was still awake when the day started he bought a cup of coffee and waited on a bench near the entrance of the park and after few hours a gentleman appeared and waved his hands to Kurt, upon coming near, he told him that he is Ali and they walked together to the taxi stand from where they went railway station by a taxi.

Ali had arranged two tickets earlier after dialing a few numbers and they started their journey towards Frankfurt am Main. Throughout the way Kurt kept looking out of the train and felt like a bird that had got freedom out of its cage. And he talked with Ali and told him the stories of his journey and finally they reached their destination. And after a search for a week, Kurt found a job at a hotel. And after working for a year, he paid off all his family debts but also educated his siblings in standard institutes. And one day when he returned from his duty, he received a call from his brother, who told him that their father had passed away, this shattered his whole world, and he wanted to see his father for the last time but due to lack of legal documentation he could not say farewell to his father.

Although after few years he received nationality of Germany and even went back to his home and met his siblings who were grown up. And although he amassed riches beyond measure, but in the quiet chambers of his heart, not a single emotion stirred he was a hollow man, draped in luxury, yet starved of life.