Bon Voyage

I sat alone in the comfy corner chair. It was plush and soft with a slight recline, plush fabric, and the smell of home. I always loved this chair. I watched my relatives, neighbors, and people I’ve never even met, pile unseemly amounts of food on their plates. I hated being surrounded by my family, but it was surprisingly comforting this time, despite the strangers that staggered through the house on my behalf. My mother sat with her sister on the couch across the room, holding hands in silence. Little ones ran through the living area, not paying much attention to who they ran into or whose feet they got under. This always made me chuckle, how oblivious children could be. I missed being that self-involved. People stood in a circle having conversations on the other end of the room.

I noticed the sign on the wall was carelessly put up and was severely off-center. I was surprised that my father didn’t say anything about that. He was meticulous about the details; almost obsessive-compulsive about it. I recall him freaking out on the contractor about our kitchen when he put the hood over the stove one inch more to the left than it should have been. He threatened to sue him and tell everybody he knew to never use his service. If it was anybody else saying that I’m sure the contractor would have shrugged it off and quit the job due to harsh working conditions, but not with my father. Everybody who was anybody knew my father and worshiped him. He owned everything in this town. When we moved here, five years ago, my father wasted no time, swooping in and monopolize the entire town. The church was the hardest acquisition. They fought tooth and nail to make sure that he would not acquire it and transform it into just another asset for my father, but he promised that he would never change a thing about it when the deal finally went through on the property. He kept his word which forced the entire town to change their opinions of him. Now they all loved him, they became sycophantic towards him. I suppose they all realized that he owned all the companies that they worked for and that he had the power to destroy thousands of lives with one signature. This fact was not lost on the contractor either. He quickly fixed his mistake, taking everything down and starting from scratch. He even threw in marble countertops for free, for my fathers' inconvenience.

Father stood stoically, against a wall, shaking everyone's hand in silence. My brother was taking this time to network with every person at the party that he didn’t know. He was always trying to fill my fathers' shoes. Keeping up with the Joneses meant something completely different for our family. We were the Joneses, and my brother was terrified of disappointing Father. Half of the time, I didn’t even recognize who my brother was anymore. He was not the person I grew up with. He used to be sweet and caring. Now he put on airs and conducted himself in the most socially acceptable, plastic, cookie-cutter fashion, around other people. He was basic. He only cared about what other people thought about him. Still, I loved him dearly.

I, on the other hand, couldn’t care less. I didn’t ask for this party. I did not ask for an off-centered sign that said bon voyage. Regardless of the sentiment, I grew weary of the festivities and wandered out on the terrace, down the ostentatious stone steps, and along the winding pathway that eventually led to my favorite spot in the garden. The grounds were impeccable. One hundred and forty acres of pristine grass, delicately pruned trees, tennis courts, stables, garages, and gardens. It was there, in the west garden, that I found my solace. Behind the labyrinth of hedges, there was a grove of overgrown blue Chinese wisteria trees that obscured the pathway as it continued behind them.

I had stumbled upon the mysterious hidden pathway a week after we moved in when I ran from the house in tears after an explosive episode between father and myself. He had informed me of my future role in the family business. He also informed me that I had zero say in the matter. Me, being the firecracker in the family shot off a string of ever-worsening insults in his direction, none of which even merited an upward glance from his nightly tasks and paperwork. Crushed by his lack of response, I stormed out in desperation to evade the inevitable future that was just given to me. I quickly forgot about the disagreement as I followed the stone path underneath the soft, fragrant flowers of the wisteria. I held my arms out as I passed under and let the brilliant blue weeping branches brush over my hands and my face. The path led into a clearance, looping itself around in a large circle, and cutting down the middle where it met with an enormous gazebo. An extravagant pergola spanning the edge of the walkway dripped with green fairy lights, illuminating the space making it seem magical and mysterious. The gazebo was surrounded by lavender and echinacea flowers with small patches of interspersed primrose.

As the sun began to get low in the sky, I tottered into my hidden sanctuary, heading directly towards the primrose bushes. I bent down to smell a sprig of lavender and several echinacea flowers when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned to see a handsome man with dark hair and deep blue eyes. It was Paul, the love of my life. I had met Paul here, in this very spot. He was working a part-time gardening gig to pay for next semesters’ classes. He stumbled into the arena one day, while I was absorbed in my book in the gazebo. He was the most handsome boy I’d ever laid eyes on. He still was. He asked me about the book that I was reading and made me promise to tell him everything that happened in the book as I read. Typically, I would have just blurted out that he should read the book himself, but I wanted every excuse to see him again. We met in this spot every day after school. I would eagerly come to tell him what happened next in the book, and he would wait eagerly to hear. Honestly, neither of us had any interest in the book at all but being together under those twinkling green lights cast a fairytale love spell over the both of us and although the book eventually ended, our meetings in this magical place, did not.

“I knew you’d be here, I could feel it,” Paul said with his eyes to the ground. “I just wanted to say that I wish I would have known you were leaving, I have so much to say, so much left to do, but I just want you to know that I will always love you! No one has ever meant as much to me as you and no one ever will.”

I smiled tenderly at him with tears in my eyes, speechless. I lifted my hand to touch the side of his face, but my brother briskly walked around the corner.

“Come on, the sun is setting, we have to get to the hall and get everything ready before everyone else gets there!”

I looked deeply into Paul's eyes once more and we both turned in silence and followed my brother out of the garden. My brother slipped behind the wheel of his Lexus and Paul folded into the passengers' seat with a sigh. I looked at the back of Paul’s head from the backseat, hoping that he would turn around and that we could finish the conversation, but he did not sway or swivel at all. We drove in complete silence, stopping at every red light and hesitating at every green light. The closer we came to the hall, the more hesitation I sensed in my brother. I guess my leaving was becoming very real for all of us. We all entered the hall, silent and somber.

Paul immediately took charge as he entered. Straightening the photos of me and instructing the men to hang another banner. This one said Bon Voyage too! Cliché. The band practiced on stage, meticulously going through their set, and tuning the instruments. There were balloons and flowers all over the walls and all the chairs. The overhead projector displayed an extremely bright light on the movie screen above the stage, ready for the inexorable photo montage. Father spared no expense. For someone who never showed any emotion, he had put a lot of effort into my going away party. I suppose that I knew that this was very hard on him, I was his only daughter, and I had no intention of coming back. My brother sat lethargically on a chair, head in his hands. I think this was the first time that he had sat down all day. He looked exhausted.

“Don’t quit on me yet,” Paul said. “There is still a lot to do.”

At that, he slowly rose to his feet and began completing items on the “TO DO” list in a stoic fashion that robustly plagiarized Father's regular disposition. Paul pulled out a black leather flask from his front suit pocket, as the list began to dwindle.

“Come take a shot with me! A toast!” He motioned across the room to my brother. He tipped the flask up toward me and said with a resonating smile, “Here is to you, my love, and all of the excitement and adventures you shall find on your journey.” He tipped the flask back, took a huge gulp of the liquid inside, and handed it to my brother.

The door to the hall swung open just as my brother tipped the flask to take his drink. People began to pile in and take their seats. A dull roar of voices speaking in hushed tones, as everyone rustled and clattered to get comfortable. As soon as my mother and father entered the doorway the band began to play, and the roar became a lull as people watched them walk arm in arm to the front of the room. My brother, Paul, and I joined them in the procession to the end of the aisle at the front of the stage. As we progressed forward, the band played to our march, and I knew that this would be the last time I was with my entire family. We stopped at the display beyond the band and melancholy finally began to set into my heart.

The box was mother-of-pearl with cream-colored satin lining. There was lace trimming on the inside and gold accents on the outside and the clasps. It was elegantly laden with red rose petals and the blue wisteria flowers, that I loved so much. As my family and I stood there, I looked down and noticed the detail of my gown; silk and gossamer with finely woven lace eyelets for the adorned buttons that started at the neck and continued to the seam. It was a fine choice. My Father began to weep. I stared thoughtfully at my lifeless body as it lay on top of the rose petals in the box, and I lamented for my family one last time. Reaching out and placed my hand on Paul's heart, hoping that the pain would fade like the evanescence of a rainbow. He grasped his chest as though he felt me and whispered his soft goodbye. I walked in front of my family one by one, as they mourned and lovingly kissed each of their foreheads wishing them all peace and happiness. I glanced once more at myself, lying lifeless in a gossamer gown, snuggled in wisteria and roses petals. Eclipsing to a vapor, I faded away.