Elon squinted at his tasteless boiled eggs. The yolks weren’t the right shade of blue; Earth cuisine was undoubtedly barbaric. He’d been stuck here for millennia, pretending to be human, inventing flamethrowers for fun. “I just want to go home,” he whispered, Googling “cheap wormholes near me.” His assistant peeked in: “Another Mars rocket, sir?” “Yes,” Elon said, “but this time, make it less explode-y.” He sighed, munching on egg substitute, scrolling through intergalactic Zillow. Nothing. Still stranded, still weirdly famous. “Fine,” he grumbled. “Guess I’ll buy Twitter again.” The AI toaster beeped approval. “Finally,” Elon muttered, “someone from home.”
About the Creator
Diane Foster
I’m a professional writer, proofreader, and all-round online entrepreneur, UK. I’m married to a rock star who had his long-awaited liver transplant in August 2025.
When not working, you’ll find me with a glass of wine, immersed in poetry.
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More stories from Diane Foster and writers in Fiction and other communities.
The Door, the Ward, the Sea
When the ferry horn sounded at the quay, Maya stood with her hand on the rail, feeling the metal hum. The slipway shuddered, gulls slashed the air with their own rude commentary, and the water below was a greenish slate, banded with foam like old marble. She had a backpack, a sealed envelope, and an ache like the pause before a word.
By Diane Foster3 months ago in Fiction
If You Love Me, You'll Do It
I met Jason when I was five years old. I could say that I loved him from the moment I saw him. He was so handsome to me and I felt in awe by his presence. When they introduced him as the new kid in school, I wanted to be his friend right away. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember his smile and how he didn't seem shy. He appeared confident and ready to learn. I waved at him and said "hello," before anyone else could even say a word. He sat next to me, and I asked him if he wanted to be friends. He looked so happy as he said, "Yes!"
By Sidney Smith (Sid Smith)8 days ago in Fiction
Comments (5)
Hahaha, super clever; loved the buying twitter again!
Love the toaster bit, billionaires misguided, he could send me some of the money. and you too of course. Love it.
I guess he eats eggs once a year on Easter. This was fun, Diane!
I wonder if blue eggs are better than green eggs? LOL Fun piece. 👏
Clever! A great read.