Billet-doux (A Love Letter)

My love, my heart,

I awoke this morning and you were the first thing that occurred to me, hence I'm writing you this love letter to let you know how badly I miss you. I miss you like blooming flowers in springtime. Like a shower of rain after a terrible heatwave. As the day gives way towards the night, I’ll be missing you even as my eyes come awake to face the new day that’s tomorrow.

That you’re no longer with me makes the longing for you more serious than ever. I can come up with a dozen reasons why you and I weren’t meant for each other. I hurt you just as much as you did similar to me. Perhaps we were truly never meant to be, is what some would say. It was a different time when we met. We were young, reckless, and very naïve to know what we had was special.

We never had a chance to sit and talk about this. Our anger and spite knew no limits. In the end, we had no choice but to end our hurt, knowing we couldn’t go forward anymore. Or maybe we could have and we were just too afraid to look into patching things ever.

Needless to say, you went your way as I did, too, locking our hurt inside. It was only fair that it’s been years since the last time we spoke to each other. I was a simple-minded fool, too scared to admit the truth to myself: that regardless of how far I’ve traveled or the hundreds of faces I’ve met through the years, yours remains a permanent beacon in my mind.

I have loved you through the years that I’ve been away from you.

Is it faith that we are to become friends again? That I can bare myself as I do now and confess to you how indelibly strong lies the love I have for you.

I’m not writing you this letter in an awkward attempt to question whether or not you feel the same—it wouldn’t be fair to ask that of you, even though I wish I could. But whatever your heart tells you, know that mine is true. No longer can I hear from what’s yearning inside my heart. Cut me in half, peel my flesh off my skin, and this is what you’re going to hear me say.

I have loved you through the years that I’ve been away from you. I have loved you so much that the thought of not bearing sweet feelings towards you is equivalent to me falling sick or locked up for committing a grievous crime. It shames me that I never could bear to utter these words to be before. My immaturity of years ago knows no bounds.

I beseech you for forgiveness.

Whatever my sins might be, whether real or imaginary, I choose to worship at your temple once again.

The memories of you in my life have striven towards making a better man of me. Though I continue to be with my range of faults, however, I might stumble and pick myself up, your spirit has stayed with me since. I cannot thank you enough for it.

I hope someday we can meet face to face again. Regardless of whatever season or wherever territory we find ourselves in. I look forward to sitting down and talking to you as a true friend you once were and always have been to me.

I also hope that we can somehow learn to love each other again. And if ever we don’t, you will continue to be my heart. My love.