Back in the Game

Huh?” was all Leo could muster after a long silence. He sat on the lumpy mattress. His right elbow pressed into his thigh and his left fist pressed into the other thigh. His right fist was holding up his forehead. Dead weight. His silver cross swayed about his neck.

“You heard me.” Carmella stood with her arms folded while leaning against the door of the motel room. Leo weakly lifted his head. His eyebrows raised and his mouth pursed like he smelled a bag full of cat shit.

“Actually, I don’t think I did.” Blood finally flowed back into Leo’s extremities, and he hoisted himself off the bed with his hands. “Wasn’t the point of everything we’ve been doing to get you off the street?”

“Do you think I want to go back out there?” Carmella retorted. “I’ve spent damn near half my life being used and cheated.”

“For Christ’s sake, don’t you think I know that?” Leo’s voice grew louder, and he started pacing the floor. “Why the fuck do you think I’ve been working so Goddamn hard to get you away from it all?”

Carmella reached her arms out cautiously towards Leo, “You need to calm down.”

“Fuck that!” Leo stopped pacing and quickly turned towards Carmella, causing her to step back towards the door. “I had a job, a new car every month, and a clean conscious before I ran into your ass again.”

“Oh, Mr. Visa-ass-bitch, I’m sorry I ruined your nice little white, middle class life. At least you got to have one.”

Leo held his tongue in place with his teeth. His fists clenched, and his eyes closed tighter and tighter until he saw a sea of static white and his ears rang.

Carmella sighed before continuing, “I’m sorry Leo, but come on. You know I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t have to.”

His muscles relaxed, but his jaw was still clenched when he asked, “Why are you doing this?” He rubbed the bridge of his nose between his eyes and continued, “And don’t give me any of that “I need to” B.S. you keep saying. Give me reasons.”

“You gonna listen this time?” Carmella raised an eyebrow, her arms folded again. Leo shot her a look through furrowed brows. She looked away and cleared her throat. “Well, I need to draw out Jabrill and this is the only way.”

“Can’t we just call him up and set up a meeting?” Leo rubbed his cross to keep himself relaxed and sat back down on the bed.

“He’d be expecting us then. Jabrill may seem like he’s clueless, but there’s a reason he’s still alive with all the people he’s pissed off.” A cockroach scurried up the thick, maroon curtains. Leo watched it with indifference and Carmella continued her explanation, “If I just call him out of the blue and be all ‘Hey Baby, let’s get together and hash everything out. Even though I ran away for a couple weeks without telling you, oh and even though you beat the shit out of my sister and damn-near killed my moms, (Her mom had a heart attack seeing Jabrill beat up Carmella’s sister) let’s forget everything and have crazy make-up sex,’ he’s gonna know something’s up. In fact, he’s gonna have a few of his boys and a nice seven-foot pine box waiting on us.”

Leo leaned back on his hands, “So, why turn yourself out again?”

Carmella placed her hands on her hips, “I’m not turning myself out dipshit.”

Leo scoffed, “Oh, of course. My mistake.”

“It’s gonna be a one-time deal. I’m going on the street at my usual time, and Jabril will roll around about two in the morning…”

Leo cut her off before she could continue, “How do you know he’ll stick to that schedule? Shit’s gotta be really different with you gone.”

“Not really.” Carmella sat down next to Leo on the mattress. “Jabril’s had girls run away before. He never missed a beat though as he kept his route down to the minute. He always found the girls too. They were either taught a lesson or fired on the spot.” Leo had been around enough hookers in his day to know what it meant to be “fired.”

“Now hold on a sec.” Leo lifted his hand and shook it in unison with his head. “You’re going at your usual time?”

Carmella nodded; her hands were folded in her lap.

“What happens when a customer shows up?” Leo asked and then turned his torso halfway towards Carmella.

“Ain’t gonna be any.”

“How do you know that?”

Carmella shrugged and looked away from Leo, “Because nobody ever comes down Trenton looking to buy on Tuesdays.”

Leo stood up and sliced an X through the air with his arms and shook his head, “No.” Carmella looked up at Leo and he continued, “I don’t care what usually happens. What if this is the one time someone does pull up? What if somebody’s riding through on business, and they’re tired of taking care of themselves on the road, so they need a quickie?”

Carmella raised her eyebrows and tilted her head gently to the side, “Guess I’ll give him a ride.”

Leo started to pace the floor, “You can’t be serious. God knows what sick pervert it could be. What if he wants to tie you to the mattress and shit, what if he’s trashed out of his mind and gets too rough. What if he wants to hook up your tits to a car battery or something?”

“Sounds like you’re speaking from experience, Leo my boy,” she folds her arms and grins like a Cheshire cat.

Leo ignored the quip, even though it was true. “You can’t put yourself through that.” He hesitated for a moment, before speaking quietly, “You can’t put me through that.”

Carmella looked at him with her mouth slightly open, her eyes wide. Leo turned away and walked towards the door. He placed his forearm against the door frame and used his other hand to peel back the curtain and peer outside the window. She laid back on the bed,

“I can’t do it.” She teared up while speaking, “You’re right.” She shook her head and continued talking through gritted teeth, “I’ve been used for twelve fucking years, and I’m this close to being done with it all.” Carmella held out her thumb and index finger an inch apart. She relaxed her jaw, “I’ve been living in this rathole for a solid week, and it’s been the best week of my life.” She closes her eyes and weakly chuckles, “Some life.”

Leo turned his head back to Carmella lying on the mattress. Her arms were outstretched, hanging off either side of the mattress. The legs that had fueled upwards of ten thousand fantasies for Leo, laid feebly down the scratchy, torn up mattress. Ringlets of hair hung down her face like thin streams of blood. Leo walked towards the mattress and sat down next to Carmella. His silver cross gently swayed about his neck. Carmella sat up and placed her hand on her forehead, almost like she was shielding her eyes from the sun. Leo placed his arm around Carmella and she looked away. However, she didn’t shrink away from his touch this time.

“You don’t have to do this,” he said. He rubbed his arm across her back.

“Yes, I do.” She wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “This is the only way we can get rid of him for good.”

Leo shook his head, “At least go closer to when Jabrill is gonna show up, like 1:45 or something.”

“What if he shows up early?”

“I don’t care.” He tilted his head down and looked up at her, “Plus, aren’t you the one who said he keeps a normal schedule?”

“Yeah, but.” She trailed off and looked out of the bottom corners of her eyes.

“You sure you’re ready? You sound like you might need to plan this out more.”

“No.” The stern bass in her voice caused Leo’s eyebrows to raise and his shoulders to lean back a bit. “I have to do this, and I have to do this now.” She looked into his eyes, “We need to do this now.”

“This can get pretty serious, really quickly.” Leo rubbed his hands on his jeans. “I mean, what if he tries to fire you?”

“I’ve got to take this chance now. If he finds out that I’ve been living here with you, I’m ending up a gold dog tag around his neck anyway.” Carmella shook her head, “I can’t keep having others protect me for the rest of my life. And you gotta do what you gotta do.”

Leo sat on the bed, stroking his chin, for what felt like an eternity. He then looked down at his cross and raised his hand to it but stopped before grabbing it. After a few moments, Leo echoed Carmella’s words, “You gotta do what you gotta do.” Leo stood up and took off his cross necklace and placed it on the bed where he once sat. He then walked towards and out the door, leaving behind Carmella, staring wide-eyed with her hand over her mouth at the left behind jewelry.