Ava

“Listen, Ava, I am not repeating myself. Be at my office at 9 am sharp on Monday. A driver will come to pick you up and bring you home on Sunday!”

“Daddy please.” Her voice came out as a whisper of desperation. She squeezed the phone against her ear and crossed her legs on the cold wooden floor. The movement caused a flutter of pins and needles to rush down her legs as she sat in the same spot for almost an hour, pleading with her father.

Ava was staying in her family’s holiday home. Hiding from the world.

“I’m scared.” Ava softly admitted. She swallowed a lump in her throat and blinked profusely to clear the tears forming in her eyes.

“I know, baby. It is a scary step after what happened. But you can not lock yourself up, forever. You need to get out and build a life for yourself.”

When the call ended, Ava looked around the room wide-eyed and a shaky hand on her chest. Ava felt a wave of emotions crashing against the wall of her stomach causing her to become nauseous. That night Ava grappled with anxiety. She tossed and turned in bed. Her mind was racing. Her thoughts whirred like a sewing machine and she did not get a sound sleep.

On Sunday afternoon, Ava set off on 3 hours of a bone-stiffening journey, back to her home in London.

On the journey back home, Ava was gasping for air in the back seat of the car. She fidgeted and her mind wrestled with itself. She felt turmoiled by the excessive burst of anxiety that flooded her veins. She was restless.

When Ava arrived, her father’s tender smile greeted her. Before she could say anything he wrapped her into a warm hug.

Ava was further greeted by the condescending smiles of her two older sisters and a blank look from her mother. No sign of love or longing could be found in their eyes. Ava felt a stab in her chest.

Their judging stares caused a flood of memories to surge. Ava remembered the nightmare of the day her glowing honey skin was attacked with acid. Her luminous beauty that strung the cords of jealousy in her sisters, was stripped away. The lower half of her left cheek, down to her neck and her collar bone was shrivelled. She felt beastly ugly. The first time Ava saw her face after waking up in a hospital was the last time she looked at herself in the mirror. She spent months recovering from nerve damage and much more hiding in solitude.

“Get over it! It's been a year.” The insensitive remark of one of her sisters caused Ava to snap back to reality. She fought back the tears that threatened to spill.

Ava rushed past them and her feet carried her to the location of her bedroom. Upon entering, her eyes lit up with surprise. In front of her was a golden cage and in the cage was a small barn owl, as white as snow. As if hearing her gentle approach the owl’s head twisted towards her direction and she was greeted with black pearly eyes.

Her father entered the room, shortly after her. When he walked to where Ava stood, he spoke gently. “This is your gift to a fresh start, I know how obsessed you are with owls. You can both continue to grow together from today. A scar on your face does not take away life’s beauty. I remember you to be strong and feisty and uncaring of anyone’s opinion. That girl is still in there, somewhere. Wake her up, please. The world needs her. I need her.”

Her father’s uplifting words sparked a light of hope. Her heart, which was worn out by the weight of anxiety, yearned to be freed.

Monday Morning -

That morning, everything went by like a blur. At 08:55 am, Ava was outside her father’s company. She peeked up at the building and her feet were glued to the ground. Her mind was begging her to turn around and go home. But a distant voice in her heart told her to keep going. And she listened.

Despite the hurricane of fear flapping in her stomach Ava made it to her father's office without lifting her head.

Upon entering, Ava instantly slammed the door shut. A breath of relief escaped her lips. Needing to catch her breath, she closed her eyes and leaned her head against the door. When her breathing became more steady, she turned around and fluttered her eyes open. They instantly locked with familiar forest green eyes. And they were not her father’s.

Ava backed away from the door and they held each other's gaze for what seemed like an eternity. Boom, Boom, Boom. Her heart began to race. A rush of warmness flushed across her body. Aaron, who was the son of her father’s best friend and a longtime childhood crush of hers, was standing a few feet away from her. She prepared for everything, but she did not prepare to meet him.

Ava finally broke their gaze and bolted out of the room. She almost ran down the hallway and into the toilet. For a moment she forgot everything. Aaron, her one and only crush in all her 22 years of life, was standing in her father’s office. She couldn't think straight. Ava abruptly stopped for a moment, ‘Oh My God, do I look okay?’ she thought. And without thinking, she rushed to the mirror. Her eyes bounced around her face and she froze. Her face dropped. For the first time, in a year she looked at herself in the mirror. Her scar was much smaller than she imagined but repulse consumed her. The temporary warmth of excitement she felt vanished. Her heart turned dark again.

Ava knew she would not be able to handle the embarrassment and the rejection from the only man that intrigued her heart. So, she concealed her feelings and vowed to avoid Aaron. Deep down, however, all she ever wanted was Aaron to notice her.

- -

Almost four weeks went by. Ava gradually adjusted to her new life. She still walked with her head hanging low and her heart beating frantically at the thought of being ridiculed for her appearance. However, she was learning to block out some judgements.

At work, Ava’s plan to avoid Aaron failed miserably. Her father thought it was the brightest idea for Ava to have a quality candidate to help her ease back into work. And that person was Aaron.

In the beginning, Ava treated Aaron coldly so she could fight off her feelings. Confused by her attitude, Aaron thought it was her way of dealing with everything.

However, Ava struggled to restrain her heart. The way he looked into her eyes and lingered there, sent thousands of butterflies soaring all over her body. His charming smile tugged at the doors of her heart. In Aaron's presence, she was in a constant battle.

Every time, Ava caught herself out of control, dread constricted in her chest. She was falling for a man who wouldn’t fall for her. At least that’s what she thought. Until one night, around 7 pm, Aaron and Ava were working late on a project in one of the meeting rooms of the company. Ava was sitting at the head of the table and deeply engrossed on her laptop. Aaron sat on her left, typing away on his laptop. Paperwork was scattered across the table.

Ava was feeling feverishly hot from the bursts of emotions exploding inside her. She struggled to stay focused. Aaron was similarly battling with his own burst of feelings. His heart danced with triumph. He couldn’t believe he was sitting so close to the most beautiful girl in the world.

Every now and then he attempted to make a conversation but his mouth hung agape. He couldn’t help but steal occasional glances at her alluring beauty. For a moment, however, his gaze lasted longer than he intended and his eyes roamed every inch of her face. From her neatly arched brows to the soft bridge of her nose and down her rosy red lips.

Ava became aware of his intense stare. She began to shift in her seat in discomfort. She felt paranoid. To her, Aaron was gawking at her scar. He was judging her. He was being repulsed by her sight.

“Don’t look at me like that.” She uttered. Her tone was flat and irritable.

Aaron, who was still bewitched, continued to gaze at her.

Sirens went off inside Ava’s head. “Stop looking at me like that, stop judging me. You’re laughing at me. You think I'm the unluckiest person in the world. Stop eyeballing my scar. I know it’s hideous, I don't need you to remind me of it!” Ava blurted out in a rage that was fueled by intense insecurity. She got up and scrambled to gather her belongings.

Aaron, shocked and misunderstood, gaped up at her for a while. “I’m sorry you’ve misunderstood me. I wasn’t looking at your scar.” He stammered. Then a sudden realisation hit him. “I can’t see your scar… your hair is covering most of your face.”

Ava froze. Her breathing was shallow. She realised he was right and a wave of embarrassment took over her. She turned her face away as tears of embarrassment threatened to flow.

Aaron stood up and took a small step so she was directly in front of him. “I was just admiring your beauty.” He finally admitted. Ava’s head snapped back to face him.

Aaron took advantage of the rush of adrenaline that gave him a boost of bravery. He spoke before she could interject. “I like you...I always have, since our fathers introduced us to each other on your 15th birthday”

“What” she whispered in disbelief. She searched his eyes for any signs of dishonesty, but they sparkled with the truth.

“I’ve always liked you, Ava. I never told you because I didn't feel worthy of your love. You are a beautiful, perfect, kind-hearted and strong person. I don’t think I deserve you.”

The words ‘beautiful’ and ‘perfect’ triggered her.

Ava turned her body around towards Aaron and tears began to well up in her eyes. “So you think you deserve me now because I’m not beautiful or perfect.”

Aaron’s voice came out as a shock of whisper. “NO!” his eyebrows scrunched and his face twisted in confusion. He felt misunderstood, in every way, by the girl standing before him. “That’s not what I meant... I still feel like I don’t deserve you but I can’t control it anymore.”

At that moment, Ava’s heart melted and a single tear rolled down her cheek. Aaron stepped closer and his tall built frame hovered over hers. They explored each other’s souls with their eyes. Sparks of passion set off like fireworks. Ava found the words spilling out of her mouth “I like you, too.” It almost came out like a muffled whisper. Aaron's face broke into a breathtaking smile and he relaxed his forehead on hers. They continued to take each other in with a newfound connection.

- -

Over the next couple of weeks, Ava and Aaron became inseparable. During the day they flirtatiously worked together and at night they roamed the city of London with their hands intertwined. Ava grew more radiant with happiness and she was no longer repulsed by her reflection in the mirror. She found her fear of judgement disappearing. Ava felt safe, beautiful and authentic in Aaron’s presence. He accepted all of her without judgement. And Ava was learning to accept his love without fear. She felt like she was healing.

But little did she know that she had a lot more healing to do.

One evening, at work, Ava heard two colleagues gossiping about her in one of the side rooms. She stopped in her tracks and curiously listened.

“I can’t believe Aaron is entertaining this relationship.” one of the girls remarked.

“I know right, I really believe her father paid him too like he paid all of us to treat her well” the other one chimed.

Ava’s blood ran cold. ‘Could this be true?’ She thought. She was sure her father would not do that. The thought of Aaron being paid to become so emotionally involved with her, was another level of hurt she could not handle.

Ava speed walked to her father’s office. She wrenched the door open with a thunderous bang. The shocked jolts of Aaron and her father filled her vision. Just the two people she needed to see.

“Did you or did you not pay everyone… including Aaron..” She paused to swallow a huge lump in her throat. “..to treat me well?” She finished with jaws clenched. She braced herself for a response that might jab at her heart.

“A.. Ava.. I .. I” Her father stuttered and paused. The panic of confirmation began to palpitate in her chest. Aaron shot up from his seat and stepped towards her. But he froze in place when he earned a sharp glare from her.

“Answer me!” Ava snapped.

Her poor father, whose only intention was to create the most comfortable environment for his daughter, was paralysed with guilt. He did not know what to say.

“Answer me!” Ava was almost roaring at her father. The tears she failed to hold back started to soak her eyes.

Panicked and lost for words, her father stuttered, “I.. I.. Yes.. B.. But…” He choked on his spit and began wheezing.

Everything felt slow motion and soundless. Her feet carried her out. With her vision blurred by droplets of tears, she couldn’t make out where she was going.

The screeching sound of tires and the sudden yank from someone behind her snapped Ava back to reality. A gasp of shock escaped her lips. She came face to face with Aaron’s apprehensive look. “Ava,” He breathed out and pulled her into a tight hug. “Thank God” he sighed with relief.

Once Ava recovered from her shock and her brain registered everything that happened. She ripped herself away from Aaron’s embrace. “You don’t get to act like you care!” She barked at him. “You were paid to fake your feelings for me. How dare you! What kind of a person are you? I.. I opened my heart to you. I trusted you. And I don’t trust anyone.” Ava breathed out with quivering lips. She looked up at him searching for answers.

Aaron took a tentative step towards her and she did not fight him back. He loomed over her small frame, holding her gaze. He diligently cupped her cheeks with both his hands and lightly stroked her tears away with his thumb. When he spoke, his voice was tender.

“I was never paid to love you. My heart did that on its own…thank you for trusting me and believe me, I have done nothing to break your trust. Yes, your father might have paid some colleagues. He did it for your comfort and he did it because he loves you.” Aaron paused for a moment in contemplation. His eyes danced all over Ava’s face before he blurted out, “I love you.”

Ava’s eyes grew wider. She could not believe her ears. His confession of love made her body flutter with butterflies. She placed a shaky hand over Aaron’s heart and her eyes flickered between his lips and eyes. They lured him in. She leaned forward, rising on her tiptoes until she was inches away from his face. Aaron’s toned arms wrapped around her small waist, drawing her closer to his body. Chest to chest, she felt his warm minty breath fan her face. When she could not resist the surging burn of desire, she leaned in further and captured her warm lips with his soft ones. And they drank the potion of true love from each other's lips. That evening Ava had a profound realisation: she could not live a life without Aaron. And she needed to break down all her walls and learn to trust him wholeheartedly.

- -

A week later, Aaron invited Ava to have dinner with his family to announce their relationship. Ava chirped with excitement. When the day finally came and Ava was ready. She gazed at herself, through the mirror, with a new found love for herself. Her scar carried a new representation of growth and strength. She regained her lost confidence by letting go off her flawed ideas of beauty. Ava was grateful to Aaron and her father, who she forgave instantly.

That evening, Ava decided to walk the 10 mins journey to Aaron’s in hopes to calm her excited nerves. However, Ava did not know she would be walking back with smudged mascara and bare feet on the wet streets of London with the echo of Aaron’s broken voice, shouting “I never want to see you again! Do you hear me!” ringing in her ears.

When Ava arrived at the towering frames of Aaron's door, it wedged open before she could knock. A soft laugh escaped her red painted lips when she saw the infectious beam of Aaron’s smile. With a toothy grin and eyes full of affection, he snaked one arm around her tiny waist and pulled her in for a kiss. Ava closed her eyes to feel the warmth of his lips on hers.Instead Aaron lowered his head further and pressed a long, soft kiss on the scar on her collar bone that was left exposed in the almost off-shoulder, dress Ava daringly wore. His kiss sent elephants trampling in her stomach. Aaron grabbed her small hand and escorted Ava into his lavish home. He took her through a maze until they reached the dining room.

Throughout the dinner, chatters, laughter and the clicking sounds of knives and forks bounced off the walls. When it was time to announce their relationship, Aaron reached out for Ava’s hand under the thick table and gave it a gentle squeeze. Ava watched as Aaron nervously shared the details of their discovered love, their future and the possibility of marriage in the near future. A soft smile stretched across her lips.

However, they did not notice his mother’s face contouring into a sneer. “Over. My. Dead. Body” she seethed, bringing the room into a mute state.

Ava’s confused face abruptly turned to face her. Aaron paused mid sentence, shocked. He did not expect his mother’s objection. “Mum” he quizzed, puzzled.

His mother could not comprehend how her son was so foolish. Her mouth hung open for a moment and her arms waved around in front of her as if jolting her brain to speak. “H..how could you come here and tell us that you are going to marry this.. This burnt plastic.” Ava’s mouth gaped open. Taken back by his mother’s insult.

“MUM! Stop It” Aaron barked at his mother as he launched to his feet.

His mother was unfazed. She stared at Ava’s scar with a sickened look, not speaking a single word. Ava felt naked and exposed. “How could you look at that for the rest of your life?” She finally uttered in disbelief, pointing her whole hand at Ava in a jabbing motion.

Then, the room erupted into chaos. The clamorous sound of the heated argument filled the air. As the war raged on, Aaron’s father futilely attempted to defuse the situation, but to no avail. “It’s me and this family or HER!” Aaron’s mother bellowed, causing a blanket of silence to coat the thick tension lingering in the air.

Ava felt wounded. She felt rejected. The hate that spewed from his mother’s mouth confirmed the impossibility of their relationship. However, Aaron already made a choice and he chose her. He reached for her hand and held it tightly. His mother grew more furious but Aaron did not care. However, what Ava did next stung him.

She pulled her hand away and stepped back. “It’s over.” She breathed out. Ava’s heart wailed in pain. It hurt her deeply to let go of Aaron, but it hurt her more to be the cause of a broken family. It hurt her more to separate a mother from her son. Ava wanted to be an addition of happiness to Aaron’s family, not the cause of its destruction.

Aaron’s throbbing heart, flared with anger. “You coward” he finally vocalised. He couldn’t fathom how the woman he was fighting for was fighting against him. She was giving up on him when he was willing to risk everything for her. To him she always gave up at the slight touch of pain. She always misunderstood his feelings and actions. He had no energy left to fight her anymore. “I never want to see you again!” He bellowed, pointing a sharp finger at her. Aaron's eyes have always caressed her with love and tenderness, but the damp glare of resentment made her heart quiver and shrink. Ava could not take the sharp pain that made her body limp. So she turned around and disappeared out of the room. “Do you hear me!” his voice echoed behind her.

2 months later -

Two months without Aaron and Ava’s world became bleak and colourless. She drudged through her days and tried to live with the decision she made. Though her heart was bleeding, her love for Aaron continued to radiate and burn inside her. Ava arrived at work every day, praying that she would run into him, but he never came. She stalked his social media, hoping to see a post or anything to satisfy her craving. Aaron vanished. Ava, out of desperation disguised herself as someone else and waited outside of Aaron's house for a whole day longing to catch a glimpse of him. But, there were no traces of him. He simply evaporated from her world. However, one afternoon, her yearning came to an end.

It was a Saturday afternoon when an unexpected knock on her bedroom door pulled her away from the gentle strokes she gave her barn owl, through the cage. When she opened the door, she gaped at her visitor. For a long moment, she froze there. Aaron’s mother stood before her and she looked like death. When Ava took in her lifeless sight, her heart began banging in panic. She grew sick at the thought that something bad might have happened to Aaron. His mother launched at Ava and wrapped her arms tightly around Ava, pinning Ava's arms down her sides. She began sobbing, weeping and she apologised profusely. Ava, consumed by fear and panic, began sobbing with her. Why was she apologising?

After a long moment, Aaron’s mother stepped away from Ava and looked into her eyes. She sincerely apologised for every pain she has caused her and Aaron. She broke down again as she told about the devastating state Aaron was in. His health was deteriorating. He was destroying his livers with the overconsumption of alcohol. He locked himself up in his room and remained there for the past 2 months. He was slowly dying and his mother could not take it anymore. Guilt and shame kept her from coming any sooner.

Ava became overwhelmed by a tornado of emotions but concern and worry constricted her heart. Without thinking, Ava snatched her car keys from the key holder in her room and ran through the maze of her house. She was in her car in a flash and at Aaron’s house just as fast.

When Ava went inside, she stood outside of Aaron’s bedroom for a moment. The memories of their last unpleasant counter came rushing back. Fear of Aaron’s rejection quaked her heart. Did he still love her? The possible rejection of Aaron would destroy her. Regardless, she was ready to risk the pain of rejection and the possibility of incurring more wounds. With one final lung filling breath, she opened the door with a trembling hand. Ava stepped inside Aaron’s dimly lit room.

The stench of alcohol instantly rushed up to her nose. It was 12 pm and the curtain remained closed. Ava walked to the window and she ripped the curtains open. Light instantly illuminated the room. Ava turned around and caught Aaron gaping at her in shock. She gasped in surprise. Aaron did not expect anyone to barge into his room, especially not Ava. He was sitting on his bed with his feet on the ground. The frame of his body looked smaller. He lost weight. His hair was wet as if he came out of the shower. Ava looked around the room and it was spotless. If the lingering smell of alcohol did not hug the air, or the significant weight loss of Aaron was not visible, his mother’s words could have been an expression of exaggeration. However, when Aaron slightly slurred his words, Ava realised she arrived after a thorough clean.

Aaron was hungover. The alcohol he drowned himself in the night before still clouded his mind. The sight of Ava in his room aroused a grudge that sat in his heart for the past 2 months. He barked at her to get out and leave. Ava refused. She attempted to explain her actions, her feelings and her state without him. But, her words just passed through his ears.

Ava reached out and grabbed his face to make him listen but he ripped them off like a plague. He was not going to listen. He was not going to understand. He was burning with the flames of anger and he wanted Ava out of his sight. Aaron did not trust her to stay during tough times and having her in his life meant pain for him.

When Ava continued to stubbornly stay rooted on her spot. He roughly grabbed her left arm and pulled her out of his room. When she called after him and attempted to enter his room again, he slammed the door in her face. The crashing sound of the door rang in her ears. Ava felt like her heart was slammed against the wall. She began to heave as the pang of rejection pierced her heart. She wondered if he stopped loving her. Ava remained facing the door for a while until the haziness of her mind cleared. She was not giving up. She swallowed the pang of rejection away and stormed into Aaron’s room once again. This time she locked the door behind her and put the key in her pocket.

Aaron, who was pacing back and forth, stopped and frowned at the sight of Ava back in his room. He gestured with his hand as if to say, ‘what are you doing?'

Aaron walked towards her with large strides and she met him with her small steps. Once they came face to face, Aaron prepared to unleash his rage on her, and Ava did the one thing that came to her mind. She launched at him and tightly wrapped her arms around his wide torso. Aaron froze mid-sentence. His arms were in the air as if he was surrendering to the police. Ava pressed her body tight against his broad chest and embraced herself for the battle of resistance. Then it began. Aaron attempted to rip her off him but she did not budge. They wrestled and scuffled like two fighters in a ring. They went on like that for what seemed like an eternity. It almost looked like a dance between love and anger. Ava slipped in and out of her hold on but she maintained a tight grip around him.

Eventually, Aaron slowly stopped resisting and Ava accordingly loosened her grip. She felt the muscles of his body flex under her skin. Ava continued to lock him in her embrace and did not let go until all the hurt and anger of the past two months melted away. Aaron's arms fell to his side. The sound of their panting and the distant sound of traffic relaxed the room. The rush of adrenaline began to flow out with their breathing and Ava relaxed further into his body. Once their breathing became slow and steady, the electrons of love began to flicker between them. Ava’s sparks ignited more intensely and she naturally found her hands rubbing his back with soft and gentle caresses. She adjusted her head on his chest and pulled him closer, allowing all her love to flow into him.

Aaron sunk into her embrace and surrendered to the cool healing of her love. When the rage of anger dissipated from his body and his buried desire for Ava, awakened, he couldn’t help but wrap his hesitant strong arms around her small frame. Ava smiled into his chest and tightened her hold. He did the same. They delicately held each other until both their heart’s tingled with the same intensity of love and shivers of desire waved down their spines.

Ava and Aaron continued to hold on to each other through thick and thin. They shortly married young and moved into their own home with Ava’s barn owl, Leo. Ava went back to living life as the girl her father spoke of the day she returned to London. She lived her life fully and authentically. Ava did not know who attacked her with acid or their reasons for doing it but her journey of healing, from the dreadful experience, made her grow wiser and stronger.