Augustine

She knows the truth. Everyone knows. Inez saw us leave the bonfire, hands clasped together and walking away in sync. We had a little too much to drink that night, and we were careless. The next thing I know, people are blowing up my phone the following day, asking me if I was seeing James. According to Beverly, Inez had taken a picture of us together and sent it to Betty.

Most of the time, nobody believes a word that Inez says because she is the biggest gossip in school, lighting the match that sparks the weekly drama. However, it looks like this new school year will begin with a forest fire of drama.

I did not mean for things to go too far.

I thought that I had something, but I really had nothing.

For him, I was an immature, impulsive, and idiotic mistake.

But for me.

For me, it was love. I thought that I genuinely found something, someone that could be mine.

It all started two weeks into the summer break. Everyone was leaving for vacations, starting jobs to earn some money, or lazing around the beach every morning trying to think of something interesting to do. My parents had left for their trip to travel around Europe, and I was left home. Again.

My feet were buried in the sand as half my body was no longer lying on the beach towel laid underneath me. Every time I twisted or turned, the towel would also. I was lounging in the morning sun, trying to convince the sunrays to bless me with a tan. Seagulls talked above me, and the waves crashed on the shore a few yards away. Not many people were out on the beach this early, but some of the health fanatics were. A few runners kicked up sand near the waterline as they ran. The men were shirtless, and the women were wearing tight-fitted sports bras. Working out was not my calling in life; I preferred to lay back and relax. My summer had started as a leisure stroll under the sun before it turned into sprints amongst the shadows.

I peered over my sunglasses like I always did when he came into view. He was one of the runners that kicked up sand as he went by. It was like a scene from a cliche romantic comedy. Everything seemed to stop in slow motion. The only thing that was working normally was my heart beating at the sight of him. The rising sun created a halo-like aura around him, making him look angelic. The sea’s perspiration mixed with his sweat to make him glisten. He looked otherworldly at that moment. It was like we lived in two separate worlds.

We lived near one another: his house was three doors down from mine. Even though we lived near one another, we never actually spoke. I would see him in the school hallway, always draping an arm around her. His friends would say something funny, and he would lean his head back and laugh. It was like music to my ears, his laugh. I always yearned to be the one who made that noise come from him. To be the one that made him tilt his head back and relish at the moment. I wanted to be the one that he draped his arm over. But I was not. I was just the freakishly quiet girl, was the biggest brainiac in our school and went unnoticed. I was the Plain Jane, and she was the Beauty Queen who had Prince Charming. It would, could never happen. That was not how our stories were meant to be written.

My summer of boredom continued for three more days of the same routine. I would lounge on the beach, waiting for Prince Charming to run by, and then I would leave thirty minutes later. I would then eat breakfast, laze on the couch for a bit, and start working on next school year’s assignments like the dutiful nerd I was. However, a few minutes into studying, I threw everything down and decided to get out of the house for once. Groceries were getting low, and I needed some supplies. I packed myself into my car and drove off. Eventually, I made it to the grocery store and started cruising down the aisles. If mom saw what was in the cart, she would freak. But alas, she was drinking coffee and eating pastries at some little corner café in France. I think. I was reading the different types of cereal on the shelf. I had never heard of most of the flavors or brands because I was never allowed to have these cereals. I started to pick up the last box on the shelf with a cartoon leprechaun feigning awe at some shapes floating out of a cereal bowl. A hand landed over mine as I touched the box, and it dropped to the ground.

He apologized profusely and picked the box up, placing it back into my hand. He was now wearing a sleeveless muscle shirt and the same shorts and shoes he wore on the beach. I swallowed the words in my throat. Ladies and gentlemen, I was speechless because this was the first time that I was this close to him in public. Well, other than sitting behind him in our chemistry class last school year.

“It’s fine. I didn’t see you standing there,” I managed to say. He continued to apologize for not paying attention and then stammer about how that is his kid brother’s favorite cereal. His mom had asked him to pick some more up because they were out. He kept going on and on. I remember telling him to take it and that I was only looking at it. He smiled and placed the cereal box under his arm. I became instantly envious of a package of sugar.

I turned to walk away, but then he said something else to me. “Don’t I know you?” he asked.

“I don’t think so,” I said.

His eyes brightened as recognition set in him. “You sat behind me in Mrs. Watt’s class! You’re the girl she always called on when everyone else didn’t know what she was talking about. What’s your name?” He asked. I wanted to shrivel up and die. He did not even know my name.

“Augustine,” I whispered embarrassedly. I quickly walked away from him and abandoned my shopping cart on the next aisle. My ears were red, and tears swelled in my eyes. I knew that I was not well known, but I did not realize that I was utterly invisible.

It seemed that God, destiny, the fates, or whatever controlled the universe had it out for me. The following day, I went on with my ritualistic behavior and went to the beach as always. Only this time, I went unnoticed. When he came running like he always did, he stopped. His hand went to his forehead so that he could see, and his green eyes squinted.

“Hey Augustine!” he said confidently. He noticed me. After weeks of being perched here, he finally noticed me. Oh God, he saw me! I wanted to shrivel up on the inside and die. This was the second time I had this feeling.

He made his way up to me, kicking sand in his tracks. I tilted my head up so that I could see him. His smile almost blinded me. He asked me what I was doing. “Nothing,” I said. He plopped down on the sand and started talking to me like I was an old friend. My heartbeat rapidly, and I was flushed. I could feel the warmth reach my ears, turning them red. He pointed them out and said, “Cute.”

For the next week, this became our routine. He would scout me out and then talk to me on the beach. It was nice. I got to know more about him, and I told him a few details about me. And then he brought her up. The Beauty Queen. He said how things were off-kilter with their relationship, but they were trying to work things out. I realized that there was trouble in paradise. I inwardly waved a single flag in honor of the news.

More time passed, and I started to join him on his runs. I mean, I would walk down to the waterline whenever he came into view, and we would walk a bit. I opened to him as well. We both understood the crushing expectations that were placed upon us by our families. He was expected to get a football scholarship, and I was expected to go to Harvard or Yale on an academic scholarship. We bonded.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered to me one morning. It was a typical morning like the others since he became a part of my new routine. My eyes widened in shock because no one had ever called me beautiful before. He pushed a piece of my hair behind my ear and leaned down towards me.

Prince Charming was my first kiss. Ever.

We parted, breathing heavily. But the moment was ruined. He apologized, saying he got caught up in the moment. He and Betty were still together and . . . I silenced him and walked away. This time I was the one kicking sand behind me.

However, there were more stolen kisses and remorseful apologies over the rest of the summer. I was the same weak-willed girl who kept letting him do it. In my mind, I finally had what I always wanted. I was the Plain Jane who captured Prince Charming’s heart. Or so I thought.

Summer was coming close to an end, and there would be a massive party in honor of it. I was never invited, nor did I ever go to parties. Ever. But he asked me. He wanted me to go so that we could have some fun. I agreed. All day, I felt butterflies wanting to burst out of my stomach, and my face was continuously flushed. My room was also a disaster because I could not decide what to wear. I eventually settled on a strapless blue sundress that touched my knees and a pair of nude sandals. I debated changing again, but the time on my clock urged me not to.

The party was like any typical, end-of-summer blowout thrown on the beach by teenagers. There was a huge bonfire, kegs, and ice chests of alcohol scattered about, and drunken girls wearing barely-there bikinis squealing and running from guys that were eager to get laid in the water. Prince Charming was wearing a white button-down that was not buttoned and green swim trunks. He carried cold beers in his hand and walked towards me. His smile was wide as he gave me a cold one. At this point, I had never had alcohol in my life. I took a sip and grimaced. It was disgusting. He chuckled at my expression.

People looked at us with piqued interest. They were curious about who I was and why I talked to Prince Charming. I wanted to revert back into my shell but being in Prince Charming’s presence demanded that I stay out.

The sun fully set beyond the horizon. We were all scattered about the beach, basking in the heat from the bonfire. Prince Charming whispered in my ear, “Let’s go somewhere a bit more secluded.”

I smiled and agreed. We left the others and settled behind a boulder away from prying eyes. He kissed me. I reveled in it. Our clothes removed and I can still feel the sharpness of the boulder pressed into my back. He whispered sweet nothings in my ear, and I smiled every time. My time in paradise eventually ended in the morning, and I woke to find myself alone on the beach by the boulder. I dressed and made my home determined not to acknowledge the siren call that urged me to go to our spot on the beach, hoping that I would see him.

It was two days later when he came knocking on my door. My parents were in the air on their way home, and school was meant to start on Monday. I looked through the peephole and noted that his hands were in his pocket and head facing downwards. Prince Charming hunched his shoulders. I sighed and opened the door.

He said hi to me and asked if he could come in. I said no. I crossed my arms over one another. He went in to touch me but stopped mid-air, forming fists with his hands and placing them on his sides. He apologized again and said that everything was a mistake. He called me a mistake. I did not shed a tear, but neither did I stop him. He said that everyone knows what happened that night and that Beauty Queen knows. He said that I did not deserve any of this drama. I was just a girl who listened to him and someone he found solace in. I finally gained a voice and told him to leave. I silently shut the door and took a shuddered breath.

I sobbed against the door.

I fell in love with Prince Charming, who had already found his future queen. And it was not me.