Anomalies in space-time

In the Scottish use of slang...calling a woman a 'Hen', is considered a term of endearment or respect. Not quite so in our neck of the woods. You can get your lights knocked out for saying that. In this narrative, let us pretend to be of Scottish descent. No offense to Scots everywhere. That being explained, humans or poultry references may become a bit muddled.

The Temporal Chick Paradox

Throttleway sat at his window, contemplating the state of evolution, his need to play god to the rest of humanity and his time travel capabilities.

There was not one single female that Reginald would have smilingly admitted to be openly admiring in the century which he now lived. To be perfectly honest, he kind of looked down on what he considered a dereliction of the duty to which intelligence was being meted out to chicks in modern times.

Once, one lovely specimen had tried to sway his judgement.

She had long ago grown immensely annoyed with him and his creations, taking a most ungracious leave of his company.

Happily, now he would rather concentrate on his wonderful steam mechanisms and finding a way to improve the general female condition.

Dr. Reginald Throttleway was not an ordinary scientist. He was a man of vision--an engineer of time, a master of steam mechanics, and, most importantly, an unwavering believer in the superior intelligence of 18th-century females. Particularly the ones who were satisfied to be not so ladylike, not at all well behaved, and quite bold in their nature. He would gladly invent new age chicks, make them into proper females.

After years of careful observation (and one particularly humiliating encounter with a modern-day chick who refused to acknowledge his existence), Dr. Throttleway came to a radical conclusion: contemporary females had lost their edge. Their once-noble instincts, their tactical precision, their ability to conquer the art of war and strategic diplomacy---all gone, reduced to nothing more than pecking and aimless wandering.

The hypothesis was simple: somewhere along the evolutionary timeline, chicks had devolved, losing the critical thinking skills they once possessed.

The solution?

A temporal extraction mission.

Equipped with his Aether-Powered Chrono-Portal, a Tesla Coil Gauntlet for female persuasion, and a Pocket Watch calibrated to the exact year chicks reached peak intellectual capacity, Dr. Throttleway set off on his grand mission in his chrono-steamship---to retrieve the most brilliant female in history and restore enlightenment to the modern specie.

Phase One: The female Prime Directive

The calculations were precise. The machine whirred. The gears shifted. With a triumphant flick of his steam-engraved monocle, Dr. Throttleway stepped into 1762---a year he determined to be the pinnacle of female intelligence

Some of the Women he hoped to find:

The 18th century saw many powerful and courageous females who shaped history. Some ruled nations, others defied societal norms, and many fought for change.

- Catherine the Great of Russia expanded her empire and implemented major reforms.

- Maria Theresa of Austria was a formidable ruler who strengthened her country.

- Marie Antoinette became a symbol of the French Revolution, though her legacy is complex.

- Anne Stuart, Queen of Great Britain, navigated political challenges and oversaw the Act of Union.

Beyond royalty, women in literature, science, and activism also made their mark.

-Nanny of the Maroons of Jamaica was an outstanding military leader. A symbol of unity, strength and courage for her people.

Many strong female leaders across different regions made a lasting impact in the 18th century, much like Nanny.

-Harriet Tubman - Abolitionist and Suffragist. Engineered her first Underground Railroad mission in 1850.

- Nzinga of Ndongo and Matamba (Angola) – Though she ruled in the 17th century, her influence extended into the 18th. She fiercely resisted Portuguese colonization and maintained her kingdom’s independence.

- Olympe de Gouges (France) – A writer and activist who fought for female rights during the French Revolution, advocating for gender equality.

- Phillis Wheatley (United States) – An enslaved poet who became the first African American female to publish a book of poetry, challenging racial and gender barriers.

- Lakshmi Bai (India) – Though she lived in the 19th century, her leadership in resisting British rule was inspired by earlier female warriors.

.........

Dr. Reginald Throttleway, however, had greatly miscalculated his trajectory...

What he did not expect was to land in the middle of a female-led military strategy meeting somewhere in the immediate present, but not exactly the past.

The Grand Hen-Chick Coalition---a governing body of elite, female tacticians---stood around an intricate war map, their sharp beaks tapping against brass machinery, murmuring in low clucks as they discussed tactical defenses against the encroaching 'wolf' empire.

Throttleway gasped. His theory was incorrect. These females were not only sentient, able to sense and feel...but they were also sapient and possessed wisdom, the ability to act with judgment, and the capacity for abstract thought.

Phase Two: The Unexpected War of Temporal Consequences

“Temporal anomaly detected.”

The chicks turned toward Throttleway, their eyes narrowing.

One particularly commanding Hen, adorned in a shiny brass exosuit, stepped forward.

“Who dares disrupt the Coalition?”****"

Throttleway swallowed. He had three options:

- Pretend to be a god.

- Use his Chrono-Infused Net Launcher to capture the smartest chick.

- Attempt to diplomatically explain the future’s decline in female intelligence.

Throttleway, being a scholar, went with the most rational choice:

He screamed and ran.

Unfortunately, the chicks were faster.

With tactical precision unmatched in modern warfare, the Grand Hen Coalition activated their Steam-Powered Wing Suits, surrounding Throttleway before he could reach the portal.

One of them adjusted his monocle most menacingly.

“You dare claim that we, the descendants of mighty females, are weak"?

Throttleway cleared his throat. “In the interest of academic discourse---well...yes, before today, I did think that".

The room fell silent.

Then...chaos ensued.

Chicks and Hens erupted into heated debate, some declaring that the descendants must be retrained in battle, others believing modern chicks were simply too comfortable in their genetically-engineered food supply systems.

Throttleway sensed an opportunity.

"I can help," he declared. "I will bring knowledge from the future. Tactics. Science. The art of the---fried egg sandwich.”

The Grand Hens Coalition exchanged glances. After a long pause, the General of the female Battalion stepped forward.

“You will teach us everything".

Throttleway’s eyes widened.

This was not the plan.

Phase Three: The Great Chick Rebellion of Pro-1762 had begun.

Phase Three: Temporal Collapse

By the time Throttleway escaped back to his own timeline, it was too late.

History had changed.

The chicks of the past had engineered steam-powered weaponry. By the 21st century, they had overtaken five continents. Economies were controlled by female-driven markets. By the year 2031, world leaders were elected exclusively based on their ability to birth eggs under pressure.

Throttleway stared in horror at the new history books.

He had not saved chick-Hen intelligence---he had doomed male humanity.

And thus, the Temporal female Paradox was born.

Throttleway was left with only one possible solution:

Travel to the future to negotiate peace.

And pray they still had a weakness for cheesecake and breadcrumbs.

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