An Awakening

Sunday, August 30, 1964:

Annie sat quietly in the back seat of the 56 Chevy. Teal and white the car feels like a boat to her four year old self. It's Sunday, church is over and headed to Grandma's house.

Her curls are perfect, frilly dress, matching socks. Shiny white shoes. She is staring at the tips of those shoes. Annie loves her Grandma, dreads the house. Over the past few months an awakening has occurred to this small child. She's always been different. Some say she is an old lady in a little girl's body. She thinks about the little friend she will see today, hears the swoosh of grass on the car turning into the driveway. Remembers the feeling of cold pump water running over her hand as she steps onto the lawn from the car, the haze is held at bay.

Sunday, May 17, 1964:

Dad driving, Mom, prim and proper in the front seat, talk of the service. Hell fire and brimstones from the pulpit. Mom says this must be the house. Looking like all the others on this street, tall, grey not painted in years. The edge of town, five acre lots, an old hand pump to the well in the side yard, out house down the path in the back. There's a swoosh of grass on the car as it swings into the driveway.

Stepping from the car a sudden murmur of sound hits Annie. Eyes dart to see if her cousins are here but the yard is empty. There's a haze, like smoke covering the yard. Focusing on the house, she feels a knot form in her stomach. Tension spreads around to her back, a tingle runs up her spine and settles in her tiny shoulders. A weight pressing down. A new experience for this child.

The windows that were shiny, reflecting sunlight from the road, are now blank. Flat, black with no lacy curtains or welcome. The knot worsens. Annie feels sick, starts to drawback. Then her Grandma walks onto the front porch. Apron dusty with flour. Drops her mom's hand and runs up the old steps. Buries her face in the soft fabric breathing in the familiar smell of homemade bread.

Grandma's gentle hand comes to rest on her shoulder, she seems to sense that the little girl is filled with dread. Annie looks up into that much loved face, sees the crinkles at the corners of the bright, blue eyes as a smile lights up her wrinkled face. "Come in everyone, I'll show you around my new home."

Mom is excited, loves new places, she chirps on about how clean the house is and how everything is all in place. Dad nods, he wants to go see the garden and hoe a little to relax. He's always tense after church.

"I really like this house, everything works great and I even have a few toys for Annie to play with while we visit." Out come the little cars. Annie's mom frowns, she wants her to be a girly girl. Pristine in her Sunday best, but Grandma knows Annie to well. The tomboy is winning this race.

"Let her be Mae, she'll grow up soon enough and be prissy."

The knot stays settled in her stomach but she takes the cars, drives them on the patterned carpet like roads. She hears the drone of the adults talking about ordinary things. Out of the corner of her eye, a quick movement. Small, white, shimmery in the gloom of the living room. A pale face, peeks from behind the rocking chair.

Gasping she drops the car to the carpet. "Annie what is wrong with you today?" Her mom seems annoyed that their talk was disturbed, but quickly picks up with the conversation after giving Annie "the look".

The face is still peering at her and now smiles. "They can't see me, but you can? That's wonderful!" Annie looks at the face, the knot grows. Dad stands up and the face shimmers away. Out to the backyard they all go. Grandma holding Annie's hand, squeezing gently.

"Mae, you and Sam go look around. Annie and I will sit here on the porch talking for a bit." As her parents head with purpose to the garden, a sigh escapes her. Once they reach the garden, Grandma's voice breaks the silence.

"Little one, did you see the face?" Annie looks up, tears on her long lashes.

"Yes, who is it? Why is it here, you can see it?"

"Oh, I have seen the little child for many years. But this house has let him blossom. He should have gone to the light years ago but stays for some reason. He won't hurt you, wants someone to know he is still here."

"Why is your yard smoky, what are all the noises I hear. Booms, crashes, laughter, crying all in a rush."

Grandma looks concerned, she hadn't realized that Annie could see everything, maybe even more than she could. She had known since holding Annie as a baby that she had "the gift." Just not how strong it would be, or if it would bring bad or good. She knew that the little girl was an old soul.

"You have a gift or a curse depending on how you let it come into your life. Only some of us have the ability to see what you are seeing. Your mom and dad may have had it once but pushed it so far down, it's gone now."

"Is that why mom is so snappy?"

Grandma chuckles, "Well, maybe but I think she just wants what is best for you."

Annie nods, "I'm not going to tell her what I see. It'll just worry her."

"Annie, you can always talk to her about everything. What do you think the haze is child?"

"No, she won't understand this, I'll talk to her about other things. Dresses, parties, house stuff. The haze I think is the feeling of this house." She frowns, trying to think how to put what she feels together. "Are the noises things from the past?"

"I think you are right, little one. It can be disturbing, hard to deal with sometimes, but you can find your grounding spot. A place or a thought that brings you back to your present time. Do you have something you thing of when your sad or lonely?"

Annie nod's, giggles, "I always think of the feeling of the cold water coming out of the pump!"

Annie could see mom and dad heading back, she glances at grandma and hugs her. Grandma sighs, kisses the top her head, "Oh, child, Grandma is so glad your here to visit!"

"The garden is doing great, as always." Sam smiles for the first time, relaxed after the hoeing, weeding in the garden. Mae shifts from foot to foot, ready to go back in the house and have some coffee.

Annie thinks of the cold water running over her hand and the haze lessens, the noises faded. Into the house everyone goes, photo albums explored. Coffee drank, the sound of Annie playing on the floor, pushing the little cars and making a motor sound. Across from her on the carpet, sits the little boy, giggling with his new friend.

Before long it's time to leave for evening service, hugs all around and grandma waves from the porch. Annie sees the little boy waving and waves back. The haze is not visible to her from the road and the little boy disappears. He's tied to the house, she smiles and drifts off to sleep.