An Ambush He Never Saw Coming

‘Sir, please where are the clothing stores?’ were the words that startled him. He quickly composed himself, straight ahead then take the first turn on your right, he said as politely as possible. But the imprint of his initial reaction was still visible all over the woman's face as she walked away.

Phil Brown had been working as a security in the shopping mall for over 5 months now but still struggled with adjusting to the environmental dynamics. ‘I have to stop drifting off, I can’t lose another job’; he murmured to himself. The manager had even taken note of his occasional mini trips.

At 32, he never dreamt that this would be his life. He had grown up in a small town. His father, Jonathan was an engineer, and his mother, Margaret a school teacher. He had two younger siblings; Timothy and Laura. Laura was the youngest.

They weren’t perfect, but at least they weren’t constantly at each other’s throats.

His only issue was that he’d been falling behind in school. He struggled to keep up for a long time, but soon, conceded defeat. He became the oldest in his class. At a time, he was classmates with Timothy.

To save himself from further embarrassment, he made the decision to drop out. No one was shocked by his actions. As they knew deep down that his chances of graduating before the youngest were slim. The surprise came afterward. He enlisted in the army.

Why do you choose a path filled with death? You are still a kid. You can’t even do your laundry properly. How are you going to survive in such a harsh climate?’ were the wailing words of his mother after he informed her of his decision. His father saw his stance as that of patriotism. Timothy was glad he could finally have a room to himself, while Laura had nothing worth mentioning to say.

He served for 8 years, after which he decided it was time to leave uneven grounds. But the man who returned wasn’t the same as the boy who left years ago. They were too dissimilar, such that it could be argued that an imposter had taken Phil’s place. He flinched at every sound, he just couldn’t keep calm. He never had a moment’s peace and acted like one scared of his own shadow. His existence was troubled.

Soon, this unsettling nature was noticed by his family. They compelled him to get the help needed. But this drove a wedge between them, as the once tightly knit band became estranged. ‘I’m tired of you always trying to fix me’ he said, ‘every family gathering has become an intervention’.

That was 6 years ago. 6 long years of self-isolation and segregation from those he once held dear. He’d occasionally have run-ins with them, but awkward wouldn't do justice to how those encounters felt.

He sometimes wondered if his mother was right all along. As he was a living being, but nothing about him felt alive.

But at least now, Phil wasn’t battling his demons alone. An encounter with an old army buddy had made him see the light. He found a therapist who worked with veterans.

She had suggested he avoided triggers. Rowdy, uncontrollable environments were one of such, of which a mall was a perfect example. But this meant tranquility had to be his companion for most of the day. He would have to interact with the thoughts within. Being more scared of the actualization of those thoughts than any form of stressors, he waged against such an idea. So, took the job at the mall immediately it became available.

Phil wasn’t a stranger to romantic entanglements, as he’d been in several relationships. But their failures were more constant than his paychecks. So, he’d given up on the whole love concept. He chose to be contented with his loneliness.

After hours of entertaining hostiles, his shift was over. On his way home, he stopped at a nearby store to get a pack of beer and some smokes. Got to his apartment building, took out his old-rusty key chain, and proceeded to gain entry into his place of dwelling. Welcomed by its cold empty hands, he took off his shoes and jacket, then began his nightly routine. One of drinking and smoking till he passed out.

Sitting on his tattered, dusty couch he observed his reflection in the mirror in front of him. ‘What sadness’, he thought. His rugged looks; unkempt hair and beard, clothes filled with holes and stains. He even looked older than his actual age.

This was all due to an ambush he never saw coming. One beyond his control. One all his years of training never prepared him for; it was an ambush that had led to ‘his mind being taken as a captured prisoner’.