All the Things We Almost Made

INTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE

Department of Lost Ideas

Quarterly Report: Q3, Fiscal Year Indeterminate

Filed by: Archivist 82 (Juniper)

Reviewed by: The Council of Almosts

I. General Overview

The Department of Lost Ideas continues to experience record intake this quarter. While expected during periods of social upheaval and mild personal panic, we’ve noted a significant spike in submissions labeled “maybe later,” “when I have time,” and “after I fix my life” in recent months.

Most of these ideas arrive slightly dog-eared at the edges, often damp from rain (or tears, we’re really not sure). Quite a few show up scribbled hastily at the bottoms of old grocery lists or on the backs of bills. Some are even scrawled on receipts from coffee shops that no longer exist.

Contrary to popular belief, we do not discard these items. All ideas, once registered, remain safely stored in our vaults for possible reclamation.

Note: Ideas that hum, pulse, or attempt to escape their folders must be placed immediately in the quarantine wing for containment and encouragement.

II. Divisional Reports

A. Abandoned Novels Division

The Abandoned Novels Division has once again experienced flood damage due to excessive leaking from the ceiling. Entire paragraphs are currently dripping from the rafters, mostly backstory. Staff are advised to wear galoshes and bring buckets if they need to enter the premises for any reason.

We remind personnel that unfinished manuscripts tend to be temperamental. Some whisper their titles at night, while others rewrite themselves in protest. It truly is best not to make eye contact.

One notable case file, Untitled Fantasy Thing with a Girl and a Wolf, recently tried to bite a clerk who attempted to label it “shelved indefinitely.” It has since been relocated to the Dangerous Imaginings Unit, pending rehabilitation.

B. Unsent Messages Bureau

Operations are stable as of last Tuesday. Most specimens remain faintly luminescent, particularly those beginning with “I miss you,” “I shouldn’t say this, but…” and “I forgive you.”

The ones written in anger flare up for several hours, then quietly burn themselves into dust. Personnel are reminded not to breathe in the residue, as prolonged exposure may cause intrusive memories or an uncontrollable urge to text exes.

Our analysts note that messages addressed to deceased relatives consistently appear to have the highest half-life. They are indestructible and occasionally escape the vaults to hover near open windows, desperately searching for delivery routes.

C. Department of Ideas Deferred “Until Things Calm Down”

Still at capacity. This section hums like fluorescent lighting at 3 AM. The air smells perpetually of caffeine and compromise. Many of these ideas remain intact, simply waiting for their creators to remember they exist. They include:

• Novels meant to be written “after the kids grow up”
• Small businesses planned for “after the promotion comes through”
• Paintings scheduled for “next spring”
• Love letters postponed “until it doesn’t feel so awkward”

Technicians attempting to declutter this area report hearing a low, rhythmic thrum, not entirely unlike a heartbeat.

D. Field Notes on Creative Grief

Our field agents confirm a recurring phenomenon. The ghost of a lost idea tends to linger near its originator for several months, sometimes years. It can manifest as:

• Sudden rushes of guilt in the shower
• The faint phantom smell of ink
• An unprovoked urge to reopen an old folder “just to peek”

Most fade gently once their creator manages to forgive himself. Others may reincarnate as new concepts, slightly altered and often cleverly disguised as “something completely different.”

III. Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Can I retrieve an idea I’ve lost?

Yes. Simply say its name aloud three times and make genuine space for it. It will eventually find its way back, though sometimes it returns in an unfamiliar shape — older, quieter, and very likely wearing new clothes.

Q: What if I lost it on purpose?

We understand. Some ideas are too heavy to carry in a single lifetime. When this is the case, they’re kept comfortable here, tucked into soft envelopes carefully labeled “for another version of you.”

Q: Do ideas ever die?

Only if never thought of again by anyone. Most reincarnate somewhere — in someone else’s notebook or perhaps just “out there” in the world itself. The Department strongly discourages total annihilation. We are already woefully understaffed.

Q: What happens to ideas shared online and ignored?

They enter the Limbo for Public Indifference, where they rest beside unread poems, YouTube covers with 12 views, and that one blog post that changed someone’s life but left the algorithm unimpressed.

IV. Current Initiatives

The Department is testing a Reclamation Outreach Program encouraging citizens to adopt neglected ideas. Anyone may visit our lobby and browse shelves by genre or mood. Currently available categories include:

• Unfinished Business (Mildly Haunting)
• Genius Realized Two Weeks Too Late
• Projects Abandoned During Mercury Retrograde
• Half-Written Apologies (Now Open for Rewrite)

Each recovered idea comes with a complimentary notebook and one (1) match to reignite the spark. We strongly encourage retrieval during daylight hours. After sunset, the stacks tend to whisper back, and nobody wants that.

V. Staff Recommendations

Archivists humbly and unanimously suggest the following changes to public policy:

1. Stop calling it procrastination when it’s really incubation. Sometimes ideas just need to marinate in the dark for a while before blooming again.
2. Permit imperfection as proof of effort. The Department of Lost Ideas operates on the belief that unfinished does not automatically mean unworthy.
3. Encourage early adoption of bad ideas. Many masterpieces began as mistakes that someone had the courage to nurture anyway.
4. Lower expectations, not ambitions. Fewer works would be lost if creators weren’t trying to build entire empires out of one spark.
5. Keep a notebook handy. We run a recycling program, but prevention remains the ideal solution.

VI. Closing Statement

At the end of this quarter, we wish to remind all citizens that the Department of Lost Ideas exists for you, not against you.

If you’ve misplaced something once dear to you — a story, a plan, a dream, or any other sundry idea — it is likely still on file. We do not judge, nor do we delete. We simply keep them safe until you’re ready to come back and claim ownership.

And if you never do, that’s all right too. Even forgotten things have a way of continuing to glow faintly in the dark.

Filed respectfully,

Archivist 82

Department of Lost Ideas

Epilogue from the Field (by Shannon, Freelance Human)

Sometimes when I stare too long at my half-finished drafts folder, I really do imagine a weary clerk in some celestial office sighing at the sight of my name. “God dammit, not her again,” they mutter, as I abandon yet another essay halfway through a sentence.

But it’s also occurred to me that maybe that’s the wrong way to think about it. Maybe unfinished things aren’t the failures they feel like at times. Maybe they’re still in the process of becoming whatever it is they want to be. Maybe they just needed to spend some time at the Department for a bit of rest and reorganization first.

I like to think my best ideas are out there somewhere, drinking bad coffee with yours, trading notes, making plans, and waiting for us to one day remember them. And when we do? They’ll already have their bags packed.

* Originally published at The Writer in the Wild.