Alfred and Hazel

The wind raced down from the icy mountains and across the foothills. It streamed through canyons of broken land. It howled over the rubble and uncovered two human-like forms buried in the sand. The clouded sky broke wide with a brilliant blue, and sunlight streamed on the desert. A black panel on the back of the closest form slowly charged with the sun. After several hours, the form awoke and rose. Sand cascaded from it.

“Hazel? Hazel! Where are you?” the android cried.

He scanned his surroundings and discovered Hazel next to him. He swept layers of dust from her solar panel and cradled her in his arms as she charged. The afternoon sun sank towards the mountains as Hazel whirled to life.

“Alfred? Where are the children?” she cried.

“I don’t know. I woke up a few hours ago. Thank goodness you are all right,” Alfred said.

Hazel pshaw’d. “Oh, Alfred, you are such a ninny. I must find them,” she said.

Hazel scanned the horizon. “Now Mother, I don’t think . . .”

“Don’t call me that! You know good and well I am not their mother!” Hazel snapped.

Eager to change the subject, Alfred asked, “What’s that around your neck?”

He pointed at a heart-shaped locket fastened with a piece of purple yarn. It looped around Hazel’s faux French maid’s outfit, which was a highly realistic painted plastic skin.

“I don’t know,” Hazel said.“Does it open?”

Hazel squeezed the sides of the locket. It popped open, and a faint blue hologram appeared. It was a boy, about eleven years old. He frantically glanced from side to side.

“Hazel! It’s me, Robin. I’m sorry we left you, but you both were still recharging. There wasn’t time. Mom said we had to get to the spaceport. We’re heading to our lunar condo at Mare Nectaris. The asteroid is going to miss us, but fragments of it might still hit. When you get this, meet us at the New Castle Spaceport. We are on the only blue and yellow Argosy shuttle, in docking bay 94. See you soon. Hurry!”

The hologram disappeared. Hazel sighed.

“Oh, Robin! Poor Robin. They must be so frightened. Get up! We have to go to the spaceport. Now. Time is of the essence. I’m sure they are holding the shuttle for us. Let’s go!”

Alfred sat still for a moment. “What’s the hurry, Mother? Have you checked your time sensor?”

“Stop calling me Mother! We need to go now.”

“You can’t save everyone.”

“You should know,” she snapped. “You couldn’t even save Master . . .”

An icy glare from Alfred stopped Hazel mid-phrase.

“I’m sorry. Oh, I’m so sorry. Anyway, I am going to the spaceport. With or without you.”

Hazel rose slowly. “Ooh! I’m quite stiff. Must be the low charge. Well, are you coming?” she asked.

Alfred stood. “Do you know the way? My mapping coordinate software is glitching.”

“Mine is as well. But I believe it’s not far away. It’s in the Old Town, near the interstate and next to the Rock. Do you think we have enough charge to make it?”

“My sensors show I have charge for two days, provided the way isn’t too strenuous.”

“That should be plenty. It’s only a few miles away,” she said. “As long as we keep the Rock in sight, we’ll find it.”

Alfred again scanned the horizon. All around him was desert. Large, orderly sand mounds, each about five feet tall and with about ten feet in-between them, filled his entire view.

“I can’t see the Rock,” he said. “I don’t know where we are. It seems familiar, but where is Pikes Peak? Ah, there it is, almost due south, but then . . . oh,” he stopped.

“What is it?”

“Uh, nothing. The Rock is west of here. Right. We should head west,” he blurted.

“No. Not until you tell me what you are going on about. What is it?”

“Fine,” Alfred sighed. “Where were our charging stations?”

“Don’t be silly. They are solar chargers on the rooftop deck. You know that as well as I.”

Alfred knelt down and grabbed a handful of sand. It cascaded through his fingers.

“And where did you wake up?” he asked.

Hazel said nothing.

“Where did you wake up?” Alfred shouted.

“Stop it! We have to find the children. Let’s go.”

She brushed past Alfred and slowly slogged through the sand towards the mountains. Alfred followed silently.

Long shadows trailed their plodding course. Every few seconds Hazel glanced over her shoulder. Alfred stared straight ahead, eyes unblinking, his face stone.

Hazel couldn’t bear the silence any longer. She stopped and faced Alfred.

“There’s no sense going on like this. Why don’t you walk next to me? We can talk about the children,” she said.

“Fine. What do you want to talk about?”

“Let’s talk about the children!” Hazel exclaimed.

“Let’s talk about the children!” Alfred mocked. “You certainly are true to your AI,” he chuckled. “You’re quite the Mother’s Little Helper.” He laughed at his own joke.

“What is that supposed to mean? Mother’s little helper? You really are vulgar sometimes.”

They continued to swish through the sand.

“It’s a joke, Hazel. All of this is one big joke, really. Our existence, their existence. Master Bruce and all of our names. He named us all. Remember how he loved the vintage entertainment from the twentieth century? How he spent hours in the garage watching those old programs? He loved Batman. He named me Alfred, after the butler. It’s why I have this absurd British accent. Bruce Wayne was the character’s name. Alfred, in the vintage programming, called him Master Bruce. Our Master Bruce, Bruce Williams, named us all after his favorite characters. I believe it all reminded him of his grandfather, and the shows they used to watch when he was young. You know his grandfather was alive when many of those programs first aired?”

“So, you are telling me that Robin, Gordon, Barbara, and Jack are all character names from entertainment programming?”

“Yes. That is exactly what I am telling you. Including your name. Hazel. It was a television program from the 1960s. It was about a housemaid.”

Hazel silently walked next to Alfred and thought. The sun kissed the mountain tops, and the sky turned gold. The sand shimmered in the twilight.

“What was that remark about Mother’s little helper?” she asked quietly.

“A poor attempt at humor, I suppose. Mother’s Little Helper was a song from the 1960s. It was about a mother who relied on drugs to get through her day. A way to deal with the pressures of life, of her children. I was equating it to Alice.”

“That’s an awful thing to say, Alfred. You know good and well Alice had her hands full with the children. Especially after Master Bruce . . .”

“You can say it, Hazel. Killed himself.”

“I didn’t want to upset you. I know you two were close.”

It was Alfred’s turn to walk in silence.

Several hours passed, and the night sky twinkled with stars. A full moon rose in the east behind them. Their shadows now danced in front of them as they made their way west through the dense sand.

“What about Mother’s little helper?” Hazel whispered.

“Alice wasn’t quite herself the last few years, was she? After Master Bruce passed? Do you know where she went when she had you take care of the children?”

“Yes, she was meeting the other neighborhood ladies for Bunco.”

“Wrong. That’s what she told you. Alice was bombed out of her mind most nights. Either stoned or drunk, many times both. She went to the aptly named High Times bar down on Wilcox and Third every night. I caught her several times as she struggled to remember the garage door code. She made me swear to keep it between us. She didn’t want you to know.”

“But of course I knew. That is why I get so angry when you call me Mother. Those beautiful children are all I exist for, and their own mother couldn’t bother to care for them.”

“Money doesn’t solve everything.”

“What does that mean?”

“Something Master Bruce used to say. They had marital problems. You realize the youngest, Jack, was an accident, right?”

“Why do you say that?” Hazel asked.

“Because of his name. Master Bruce only wanted three children. Alice wanted another. So after he was born, Master Bruce named him Jack, after Jack Napier. In one of the Batman movies, Jack Napier was the Joker, Batman’s arch-nemesis. Of course, Alice never knew that. Or, perhaps she did.”

“But Master Bruce loved Jack more than any of them, I think.”

“Indeed, he did. Perhaps he realized young Jack was the most like him of all the children. Quiet, with a wicked sense of humor. But, a dark side too.”

They began a descent down a steep slope covered in broken concrete.

“The sand was easier, wasn’t it? Look, Alfred! There’s the Rock!”

A large rock formation resembling a volcano rose from the center of a valley. They climbed over chunks of pavement as they made their descent into the valley.

“Now be careful here, Mother . . . oh, sorry,” he stammered.

“It’s all right, Alfred. I kind of like it. It’s endearing.”

The moon was nearly overhead as they clambered into town. Blackened boulders of every size covered the ground, half-embedded in craters.

“It seems like the town got hit with asteroid fragments, doesn’t it, Alfred? I hope the spaceport is all right.”

“We’ll see.”

The Rock loomed enormous as they approached the spaceport. An askew sign read, “New Castle Spaceport.” Debris covered it. Several holes pierced the roof, but the building appeared intact.

“Here we are Mother. We’ve made it.”

“Where is 94?”

“Don’t you know how to count?” Alfred chucked. “Follow the numerically ordered signs.”

They walked down a long, wide corridor that was open on either side. Hazel counted aloud as they made their way past the docking bays. All were empty.

“87, 88 . . . we’re almost there, Alfred!”

“Yes, yes . . . Hazel, slow down! You’ll trip and fall,” Alfred shouted.

Hazel ran the last bit of way. Upon arrival, she stopped and slumped to the ground. Alfred joined her and put his arm around her shoulders.

“They’re gone,” she sighed.

“I’m sorry. I kind of thought they might be. Have you checked your time sensors yet?”

“No, they aren’t working. But why should I? It’s the bicentennial year of the centennial state. 2076. We had that wonderful celebration at the pavilion. Even Alice seemed happy that day.”

“Yes, she did.”

Alfred internally rechecked his sensors and confirmed the year. Without internet and satellite connectivity, he couldn’t be entirely sure, but the surroundings and conditions of the town confirmed it.

It was unbelievable.

His internal clock registered 2525. Four hundred forty-nine years had passed.

A shimmer of light caught his eye, about halfway up the Rock. The moon behind him lit its western slope. Moonlight twinkled from a cracked windshield, attached to a crushed blue and yellow shuttle. An enormous asteroid fragment lay atop it. It looked as if it hit the shuttle mid-flight and buried it.

Or just after takeoff, he thought.

Alfred quickly lifted Hazel up and spun her the opposite way towards the moon.

“Oh, Alfred!” she giggled. “What was that for?”

He laughed. “Oh nothing. I’m excited, that’s all. For when they return. Aren’t you?”

“Oh yes! I can’t wait to see the children again!”

“Look there, to the right, on the surface of the moon. See that dark circle? That’s Mare Nectaris, where the lunar condo is located.”

Hazel waved at the sky. “Hello, Robin! Hi, Gordon! Hi, Barbara! Hello, little Jack! Do you think they can see us?”

Alfred squeezed Hazel tight.

“I’m sure they can, Mother. I’m sure they can.”