Aether-Skin Transit Bundle

PLEASE READ ALL INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE BEGINNING!

POR FAVOR, LEA TODAS LAS INSTRUCCIONES ANTES DE COMENZAR!

VEUILLEZ LIRE ATTENTIVEMENT TOUTES LES INSTRUCTIONS AVANT DE COMMENCER!

開始する前に、すべての指示をよくお読みください。

VUI LÒNG ĐỌC KỸ TẤT CẢ HƯỚNG DẪN TRƯỚC KHI BẮT ĐẦU!

Pages 1-6 for English

Páginas 7-12 para español

Pages 13 à 18 pour le français

日本語版は19ページから24ページをご覧ください。

Trang 25-32 dành cho tiếng Việt

1.

Lay out all included materials to ensure they match what is shown in DIAGRAM I. If you are missing anything, please call Customer Support. DO NOT begin until you have received all items. Should you be missing anything, we sincerely apologize. Please have ready the name of the missing item, and the "inspected by" number to give to the customer service representative. We strive to maintain the highest of standards, and the quality control inspector responsible for the oversight will be summarily, and intensely, dealt with. Should all items be present and accounted for, then you are ready to proceed.

2.

While it is recommended that you have a partner present, all steps can be completed solo. Please DO NOT call Customer Support if you are without someone. While we understand the crippling weight and hollow chill of loneliness, our representatives are not here for you in that way.

With the provided chalk (A), draw the following four symbols on the ground, at approximately 6 ft (1.829 meters) apart. (DIAGRAM II) Please note, all given directions (N,S,E,W) are not the literal cardinal directions, but relative directions for the sake of ease. If you wish to align with actual North, etc. you may use a compass (not provided) to do so. Alignment or non-alignment will have no effect either way, though we understand the OCD and aesthetic urges to do so.

Inspect all symbols to ensure they have been drawn correctly before moving to Step 3.

Note: You will more than likely have chalk left over. Feel free to use the remaining chalk for any fun project you wish. Think of it as our gift to you!

3.

Place candles (B) at the NE, SE, SW, and NW positions (DIAGRAM III) in that order. As you place each candle, repeat the phrase “in wax I hold you”. Once all four candles are placed, use the provided matches (C) to light the candles in the same order in which you placed them. As you light each candle, repeat the phrase “with phosphorus I call you” and then properly dispose of all used matchsticks.

Note: During Step 3, you may begin to sense/see Ectomites wiggling and shimmering in the corners of the room. Remember, THEY ARE HARMLESS. They are simply waiting to ingest any left over dimensional residue. They are no different than dermestid beetles that eat the dead skin off your soft, vulnerable body while you sleep.

4.

Carefully empty the contents of the sinch bag (E) into the provided ceremonial bowl (D) then pour the water packet (F) into the bowl. Allow the herbal mix to soak for at least one minute. You should begin to smell the aroma of cloves, coriander, broiled meats, and choose your own adventure books. It is possible you may get a whiff of the saccharine odor of nostalgia and/or the tingling of chlorine and regret. THIS IS NORMAL.

In the rare cases of moth balls or lemonade, immediately stop and call Customer Support for a full refund or replacement kit.

5.

In a seated, or kneeling, position (whichever is more comfortable for you), face the given direction, raise the bowl, and repeat the following phrases in the following order to invoke the Four Guardians:

NORTH : “Gobbleshanks the Greater, I beseech thee”

EAST: “Zylstra the Luxurious, I implore thee”

SOUTH: “Karjel the Imperious, I entreat thee”

WEST: “Wilbert the Unremarkable, I ask thee”

Ensure you are fully facing each direction each time and that you speak with full confidence and belief in your heart. Failure to do so may result in the arrival of Trymstal the Elongated.*

*GVD, and all our affiliates and subsidiaries, are NOT RESPONSIBLE should this occur. Woe be to all who gaze upon his terrible visage or witness his man-footed centipede minions.

6.

After successful completion of Step 5 (repeat as needed) your Guide will manifest. Guides include, but are not limited to, Hydarg the Eyeless, Porla the Onlyeyes, Vlnk of the Shimmering Order Embodied in Full Splendor and Glory in Armor and Weapon with the Spreading of his Fourteen Wings and Bearing of his Five Crowns, or Fenita the Joyous. Listen carefully to the words spoken by your Guide and breathe deep.

You will feel the sensation of the very core of your being start to be pulled from your fleshy husk. DO NOT RESIST as this is perfectly normal.

Please be aware, there is a slim (0.01%) chance that Sytzar the Malfeasant (curses be on you, O Deceiver, we spit on your name) will worm his way into the proceedings. There will be no way of knowing until it is too late, and we will somberly nod knowing your essence is trapped in the spaces between the Fields of Arfax and the Realm of Hypteria and those crystalline castles that float among the hot and noxious obsidian clouds.

7.

You will now see the 23rd House and bear witness to its splendor.

Approach and enter.

If offered the chalice, imbibe with a sip.

If offered the plate, partake of a singular morsel.

They Who Dwell will then greet you.

What They Who Dwell show you is yours and yours alone.

Accept whatever that may be in gratitude.

Be grateful for the knowledge they impart.

At such time as they deem to be the conclusion of your visit, you will be instantaneously cast out.

While it is more likely you will find yourself on some random plane, it is possible you will still be in close proximity to their dwelling. Should this happen, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REENTER THE HOUSE!

Take as much time as you need to wander whichever plane you find yourself in, and contemplate what you have learned.

When you are ready, call out to your Guide, and they will usher you back into your body. You will be again affixed to this fleshly plane, but you will be fundamentally changed.

In one way or another.

8.

After your return, thank your Guide first and foremost. Then, in the reverse order you invoked them, the Four Guardians.

Next, in the following order, blow out the candles: NW, SE, SW, NE.

Finally, carefully dispose of the candles, wax residue, and the bowl and its contents.

DO NOT REUSE ANY OF THOSE MATERIALS FOR ANY PURPOSE.

Clean up the drawings with soap and water (not provided).