Absolve

A symmetrical web of yellow lights strung with brass wires hung high above the open room. Brown vinyl walls, with brims of intricate gold lining. The circumference of the room held thick glass windows placed evenly around, they were chiseled with square layers and floral details. Loud walking echoes as hard heels strike the hard wood floor, a man makes a swift stride towards a door. Bloody footprints trailed behind him. Closing it behind him, leaving behind a young boy and a dead woman. The child stood upright, teetering, nonetheless standing on his own. The boy had on a white robe, stained with blood. The source of this mess made a path to the woman far behind him. He looked out to the door, which began to become lost in the vast array of doors surrounding him. The small boy came to realize the floor beneath him was rattling, the lights wiggled all delayed from one another, the train was moving.

The doors all around busted open, men in black suits flooded the room; surrounding the young boy. They trampled over the woman as though she wasn’t there. It was loud, the room filled with countless voices; All of it unclear, and overwhelming for the young boy. It seemed that the men did not look at the small boy either, as they didn’t care to look down at him. The cluster of men began to leave the room, funneling through the broken open doors; like bees entering a hive. Soon the room was empty, all of the doors left open, and the young boy alone again. The mess behind him was spread in foot prints that faded, the woman had been swept away along with the men. Alone again, he takes his first steps towards the closed door. He followed the bloody foot prints the first man left behind. All around the room began to shrink. walls folded into themselves; the floor became narrow, made parallel with the red footprints. The boy grabbed onto the only door in the room now, except it was a sort of hall now, taking shape of a box cart within a train. His eyes were fixed straight, lifeless and porcelain, following the trail through the door.

Rays of warm morning light poured into the room, breaking at the lines through the wall of windows on the right. Teenage boys and girls filled the seats in packs. They wore different combinations of grey plaid skirts and pants, white tops, and green blazers with black accessories. Some groups seemed posh, wearing every article of clothing to its full length. Some groups wore the bare minimum of what seemed available, hiking up their skirts, and unbuttoned tops. “Mr. Conner's!” a man shouted from the front. “I will not have you stand around on this train… find your seat!” the boy found himself to be the only one standing. “Me…? Where?” the students around him began to laugh, this led the man to feel he was being teased. Though it had only been seconds since Mr. Conner's entered, the man up front seemed to have had enough “why I oughta—". Connors was pulled down quickly to a seat at his back left, the tension from the man died down and the students around him minded their own loud business again. “Are you trying to get a beating” the girl that pulled him down began to scold him for his second time. “Peter you are utterly stupid if you think you can take on an adult” she humored herself with that comment, but it made him take a look at himself. He saw he was dressed up the same as everyone else was in the box cart. Peter heard his name, he finally looked over to the girl he was sat next to. she wore the plaid skirt with black leggings, her shirt was tucked neatly and her blazer sat on her shoulders like a cape. Her hair was dressed like a gothic Christmas tree, black ribbons and metal pins held her long hair behind the ears. She slouched into the window and bobbed her forehead at peter like she was expecting a response. But peter stared, seconds to long. She straightened up and opened her book from where her thumb had been wedged, now pretending to mind her own business. Peter felt responsible now and felt he needed to pipe up. “Sorry… how did you know my name?” peter sat himself upright, facing his head forward. “attendance” she was short, now with her head bowed into her book. Peter felt he had to pry now “what’s your name?”

“Interested in talking now” she barked at him,

“Sophia” she felt what she said before was undeserved, bringing her book up to her nose.

“Sophia, seems you’re the only one I know here” he was being honest

“Every one here is a stranger to me, I’ve never met any of them…” peter finally analyzed his surroundings. He could begin to feel the trains vibrations. He looked out the window, trying to concentrate on something outside, but the light was too harsh. “You’re not suppose to know everyone” she gave her opinion. “You know… One person is all you need on this train, otherwise you’ll get bored”

She gave him an idea “can I stay with you then” peter blurted out. They met eyes, she turned away to hide her face, peter caught on after then turned his head as well. Sophia began mumbling and rolling her shoulders. But peter couldn’t hear her. He saw on the floor, bloody footsteps headed up the aisle through to the next cart. The train became loud and so did the voices all around. He stood up again and went to the window past Sophia, opening it to put his head out. Peter saw darkness, light reaching out until its swallowed by the vast black far beyond what was above and below the moving train. They were headed toward nothing, but the train still operated just fine. Before going back inside, Peter saw a silhouette of another person looking back at him many segments forward. Peter panicked, he pushed himself to his feet, standing back in the middle of the aisle. The man up front stood and began to yell, but peter couldn’t distinguish it. everything was loud, all he felt that he wanted to do was to follow the bloody footprints to the next cart. To peter, that was they only way to the truth he was looking for. Peter shoved past the man throwing a tantrum and forced himself into the door.

Upon entering the new box cart, peter looked around briefly to find that there was no more light coming into the room. White specks of light peppered the dark beyond the train. The yellow lights were dimmed, music played from a band of brass instruments and drums in the corner. People all around dressed in suits and colorful dresses, these people seemed familiar to peter though. They were the teenagers from before, just grown up quite a bit. Everyone was dancing and partying within their segregated groups. Peter found himself in a suit as well, already used to the new outfit per cart routine. He focused on the footprints again and followed them, pardoning himself through the crowds of people. Peter grabbed onto the handle, only to be stopped by someone. “Excuse me, I need to go” Peter said impatiently, “where are you off to so soon?” Sophia put herself between the door and Peter. He let go of the handle and stepped back to give her space “I got all dressed up for you, and now you’re running off before I’ve seen you” she closed the distance again. “You said you’d like to stay with me” Peter was reminded of that. The room became quiet again, he looked at her, noting that this time she didn’t shy away from eye contact. “I don’t know where I’m going” Peter admitted, “I feel like time is moving so fast, and I never know where I am” Sophia felt his vulnerability and grabbed his hands. “you’re not suppose to know what’s ahead, no one does” she reaffirmed him.

“Were all just trying to find ourselves in this train. But its harder doing it alone” she wrapped herself around him. Peter settled down and came back to his senses, he could fear the music again and the loud yammering of drunk boys and girls. Peter didn’t want to stay any longer, but he knew he couldn’t keep going alone. “Come with me” he pulled on Sophia, “I need you”. They went together through the next door happily, not alone this time.

Peter walked through the narrow aisle still following the footprints, he felt tired, his legs dragging. “Excuse me” a lady behind Peter called. She called again until Peter realized she was calling for him, he turned and found that he was no longer holding Sophia’s hand. He saw Sophia behind him wearing an all-green outfit with black buttons and stripes, with an apron tied around her waste. He wore nearly the same thing as her, just suited to his gender. “I’d like a napkin” the old woman asked

“of course, miss” Sophia catered to the woman as though it was her job. She also reminded Peter that it was his job as well to bring over the snack trolley with a mean look. Peter played the roll once again, collecting himself and reading his surroundings. Heavy rain painted the windows a mess of grey shades, and the cart moved smoothly, the lights were turned off as there was enough light in the room for it to feel neutral. Sophia finished with the old woman and guided Peter to the front where there were no people to hear while she gave him a pep talk.

“Why is it that you keep blanking out” Peter tried to find an answer but she didn’t give him the chance.

“Its not like I want to be here either, ok. But its not fair that you have me watching you like a child” Peter was confused by this,

“But you said that you would stay with me”

“Yes, but you’re not doing anything with your life, I was to go to college a year go… and here I am watching you barely getting through a job” Sophia was pleading for an answer now. “What is going on with you, you’re always distracted” peter couldn’t find the words. He looked to the foot prints below him, trying to come up with a reason that she would be satisfied with. “Your answer isn’t on the floor now is it. I’m up here Peter” Sophia said annoyed. “You don’t see them…?” Peter questioned focusing on the blood footprint. “See what?”

“The bloody footprints” Sophia understood differently than what Peter meant.

“they’re my fathers footprints” Peter couldn’t believe that she couldn’t see the foot prints

“Oh, here we go again about your father, that’s not important anymore” this struck a chord in Peter, the noise of the rain became more intense and thunder began to sound. “I don’t need you to stick around anymore then” they held their silence. Peter turned away from her and went through the next door.

Peter walked through the next cart still following the foot prints. He began to move faster through each box cart until he was running. He began to slow down once the foot prints started to fade away the further, he went. His mind became clear and dull, as there were no more footprints left ahead. Peter walked until he felt his fatigue catch up to him, taking a seat near the back of the cart he was in. The dull light filled the room, shadows with soft edges crept up and down the seats as the train cradled him. Peter breathed and collected himself, he was much older now. Wrapped in layers of coats, he held himself tightly to keep warm. Peter wasn’t lost like he was before, that wasn’t important to him anymore, he just felt empty. Peter looked around to see if there was anyone around him, in front of him a few rows was a woman sitting there. He realized that it was Sophia by the hair and decorations, but just too many years later. Peter felt too distant from her, but he chose to go see her anyways. He stood next to her seat and got a better look. Sophia glanced up at him for a moment “can I help you?” she asked. She wore nice clothes, she’d been a successful woman, seemed that after they parted ways, she got her life together very well. Peter didn’t bother to remind her who he was, he didn’t want to intrude with bitter memories. “No, seems as though I’ve just lost my seat” Peter went and sat at the back left seat of the box cart. He looked out into the vast darkness through the window, thinking back on his life. Peter opened the window to look outside ahead, he saw that the train went forward into the dark. Then he looked back, many carts away he saw a silhouette of a small head looking towards him. Peter laughed to himself, feeling sentimental. He felt that he knew what to do now.

Sophia looked to the back of the box cart as she heard the door open and close. She was alone in the cart now, she began to feel impatient, like she was waiting for someone now. The door in front of her opened, a man wearing a nice suit walked in. “Please don’t leave me for so long next time” Sophia pouted to the man. “You don’t know how much I regret it” Peter said to her endearingly. “Well, you’re here now, come my love” He took his seat next to her. They sat together unbothered by the world around them. The train kept moving, but they were happy together nonetheless.