A world from mine

It was a rainy day when I got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer .

Coming back home from the hospital,I couldn't think of anything except the short time I had to live . Walking home under the heavy rain made me think of my whole life of misery ,how my whole life has been so bitter, but was it for the best ?

I asked myself over and over again if it was for the best that I was sick and given two months to live but I wanted to live, I wanted to right my wrongs , I wanted to live a better life but how ? I asked myself repeatedly .

I finally reached home all soaked in rain water and then I heard my father's soothing voice from the door .

"Elena ! Is that you ?"

And I answered " yes dad "?

"Why are you soaked ? It's raining , why didn't you take a cab ?" He asked so worriedly but I had no answer because I wasn't about to tell my father that his only daughter has stage 4 cancer and she's about to die just the way her mum died " No! Never!" I uttered in my head .

"I'll be in my room " I responded as I walked right into my room without even looking at my father's face

A knock on my door wakes me up from sleep with my eyes about to fall out from all the crying last night .

I hear the soothing voice again .

" El dear, it's time for breakfast, I made your favorite" My dad speaks over the door

Tears roll down my eyes once more as I start thinking of how he's gonna be all alone in the world. * Who did he offend ?" I ask myself

*I'm waiting El" he insisted

Walking down to the kitchen in my beautiful pj's made me hate the world for doing this to me , for making me so sick that I have to die .

Dad made chicken wings and feet but that wasn't breakfast ...

"El dear , what's wrong ?"He asked

I shook my head in response then smiled at him .

"come on! you've got me worried since yesterday, can you at least give me a clue ? I'll sort the rest out " he asked looking all worried but how can I bring my self to tell him this ... No I can't

"I got fired " I whispered

"Elllll" he dragged " what happened? There must be a misunderstanding somewhere , come we'll meet your boss after breakfast, I'll go talk to him . For as long as I can tell you're the best designer in that company so how could he just fire you after two years of commitment. No dear I won't take this . Eat up" He spoke angrily as he approached the bathroom door

"No dad " I responded in tears

" what?" He exclaimed

" I said no I don't want to work there anymore ,I want to stay home . Can't I do that ?. I mean , you make enough money for the both of us so why can't I just stay home , create my own designs, sew them and sell ?" I talked back , for the first time in a very long time I talked back with tears .

"Darling , you said this was your dream job , you said it made you happy sharing your ideas with others , why are you suddenly becoming selfish with it and being a cry baby about it . No you will work , you will continue sharing those beautiful designs of yours to the world " he spoke slamming the bathroom door behind him .

As I stormed into my room without even touching my food, I realized that I had just lied to my dad about my job. I started questioning my whole existence as a whole before I could get out of my thoughts; I heard the sound of dad's car zooming off from a distance. wondering where he had wondered off to I kept on thinking about my situation , my life , my work , all I've achieved in my 26 years of living .

"Will I even live to see my birthday?" I asked myself while crying out my eyes

"I should stop crying already "I uttered while wiping the tears off my face

A few hours passed and my dad was back , fast and loud footsteps approaching my door I got scared if he had come to scold me again about my work .

"Get dressed "he said while heading downstairs to the kitchen

"You didn't touch your food?" he said while smiling

"You need strength to fight this okay?" he said with tears rolling down his face

"What do you mean dad?" I asked, approaching the kitchen.

" Why didn't you tell me El? , I went to your work place this morning just to find out that you collapsed in your office so I asked which hospital you were admitted to and they told me but when I went there they refused to disclose any information to me unless I came with you . I mean, why would you be sick and not tell me, why? Whatever it is we will solve it and you'll be fine" he spoke as he washed the dishes.

"What could be that bad that you can't tell me? Huh!"

"cancer!" I responded vehemently

"Will I be fine, can it be solved? Can I be cured?" I asked with hot tears rolling down my eyes.

" Baby!!!..." he said rushing to hold me in his arms

"we can still be cured okay? You'll be fine "he said as I responded angrily escaping from his warm arms

"No dad! I have barely two months to live.

No one gets to tell my baby when to die. Okay?" he said as he tried to control the tears from coming down his eyes." I can't lose you too! No! Never! Even if it means going to the ends of the earth to find you a cure I will "he continued.