A Risk Worth Taking

I’ve always considered myself an adventurous learner. The nagging need deep inside me for knowledge and to learn more about the world around me has always been strong. The word strong may be an understatement actually. The hunger to learn inside me is incredibly ravenous and vengeful like a starving shark. In my youth, I was constantly lectured about how curiosity was dangerous and straying too far off the path can get you killed. I listened to these lectures intently, then would ardently disagree. I was always the first to ask more questions and would often stump my teachers to the point of frustration. My family would tell me I was being too nosey and needed to stay in my lane. I was told I was aloof and needed to appreciate the present moment more. I was never content with the present moment though, and was definitely not content to follow along with what I was being told.

As I grew older, the questions I needed answers to grew more intense as well. Was this existence all there was to the world? Are we alone out here? Was there more to find out just above the surface? Why wasn’t anyone else looking for these answers? The intensity of these new questions were met with blank stares and shrugs. My annoyance grew. The need for answers had me surrounded and cornered. I was isolated and drowning in existential angst.

While I am not unwise to the risks of swimming out into the unknown, I knew that not taking any risks would lead to an unfulfilled life. A cycle that has been done countless times before, and I had no desire to repeat it. I had to leave behind everything I knew to get to the answers my soul needed. This was something my family did not understand. Maybe they were unable to understand. I’m sure they would tell you now that my dissatisfaction made me unbearable to be around. I’m sure my disappearance was a great source of relief and I hope they are happy.

When I first arrived at the aquarium to study, I was excited but there was still some apprehension. I did not know if I would ever go back my old life or if I would see my family again. Despite my anxieties about this new venture, deep down I knew this was my chance. My once in a lifetime opportunity to get the answers I was yearning for. My worries quickly evaporated and I soon realized that the risk I took to get here was worth it! This aquarium was a rare chance to observe an aspect of this world that was entirely foreign to me. A world I didn’t even have the vocabulary for and I had a front row seat! The creatures I’ve encountered since coming here look like nothing like my friends and family back home. I’ve spent countless hours gazing at these magnificent creatures. I haven’t figured out a way to communicate with them yet ,but something in their eyes tells me they are alive! I can feel their souls and intuitively know that the same life that propels me propels them as well! In some ways, my search for answers in this aquarium has only brought on more questions. However, the awe I’ve experience here outweighs any frustration that bubbles up from these new questions. I no longer feel stuck or alone because I am learning something new everyday. I now know that there are beings that only live on the land, and while some can swim, they mostly walk! I also know that the risk I took swimming into that net was worth it, and I would do it again.