A Mother's Guilt

"When I call you, do not answer, just come outside". That's Kosi on the other end of the line (we have been friends for 5 years now). Her words send a chill down my spine, their urgency leaving no room for hesitation. I agree to her request and let my nanny know I would be stepping out in a few minutes but have no idea when I would be back. I would take my keys incase I come back late so they could lock behind me.

As I wait for Kosi I try to figure out why she was so cryptic on the phone, could it be connected to how quiet she was yesterday during our regular Wednesday catch up sessions with Nala and Hawi. My phone rings and I assume its Kosi so I grab my keys as I rush to the pone determined to go to the door, amidst the fear and uncertainty, there's a flicker of determination burning within me—a determination to stand by my friend's side no matter what, to offer her the support and protection she needs in her time of need.

When I check the caller ID it's not Kosi but Nala. "Hey Nina, have you received a strange call from Kosi today". Relieved that she hadn't called just me I let her know I had. She goes on to ask if I knew Hawi was having an affair with Kosi's son. How could I have possibly known that, my mind races as I try to process the shocking revelation. Hawi, our friend, involved in an affair with Kosi's son? It's a scandalous revelation that sends ripples of disbelief through my thoughts especially because Mali just turned 17.

Apparently Hawi's husband found pictures, texts and videos on her phone and now she was scared that Kosi found out and they knew that she would call me because we were the closest in the group. Nala wanted to make sure that I denied this ever happened if Kosi calls me to verify. Resolving to handle the situation with sensitivity and integrity, I gently express my discomfort with Noel's request. I emphasize the importance of honesty and transparency in our friendships, acknowledging the complexity of the situation but ultimately standing firm in my belief that Kosi deserves to be informed.

As we are talking I can hear my phone beep, it's Kosi. I have to go. I hate that I took that call from Noel because I am now even more confused. As I walk towards the car I can see Kosi talking to someone in her backseat and it's an argument. I honestly feel like going back inside, which in hind site I should've done, but I get in the car and Noel is in the back seat.

She must've been in the car when she called me. Was this some kind of test? Are we not too grown for all this drama? I get in the car and ask Kosi what's going on. She tells me she received a call from Morris (Hawi's husband) and he told her he had evidence that Mali was sleeping with his wife. Kosi is sobbing as she unlocks her phone and shows me the pictures. For a moment I let go of my anger regarding the juvenile phone call to test my loyalty and focus on what's happening.

The pictures are too graphic I cannot even move to viewing the videos. I ask her if she has spoken to Mali about all this and she says she hadn't. Mali had criket practise on Fridays and she didnt want to bring this up before he left for school. "I feel sad and angry that I exposed my child to a pedophile" she continues to sob. Without warning she starts driving off and says she wants to confront Hawi.

We drive the 20 minutes to Hawi's house. It doesn't look like they are home because all the lights are off and it was not that late for us to assume they were asleep. Kosi asks me to call Hawi and ask her to let us in we just want to talk. I call but there's no answer. Kosi decides to get out and go knock on the door. she knocks but no answer. Nala is standing by the window closest to the kitchen where there's a bit of light coming in from the outside lights.

"Nina, come here, what's that on the floor" I run over to her and notice a pool of red liquid that looks like it trickled to the kitchen from the living area. I quickly jerk my brain away from thinking the worst but was that blood? And if it was, could he have killed her? Did Morris kill Hawi? With my eyes fixated on the pool of red liquid sipping into the tiles it takes a while for me to realize that Noel had moved to the kitchen door and found it unlocked.

I call out to Kosi who is now screaming at the front door for Hawi to not be a coward and come face her. I tell her the kitchen door is unlocked and we could walk in, however I needed to warn her about the possibility that the red liquid Nala and I saw could be a sign that something sinister had gone on between Morris and Hawi tonight so she needed to calm down and tread carefully.

As we walked in to try and investigate the source of the spill ( I am hoping, its paint), however the color red, so vivid against the pale tiles, sends a shiver down my spine. "Morris what have you done" Kosi whimpers as she sees the red liquid. We switch on the light and we see a man on the floor. A thousand questions swirl in my head, each one more urgent than the last. Guilt breeezes by with the relief that it wasn't Hawi.

Fear grips me tightly as I realize the gravity of the situation. Someone has harmed, perhaps even killed Morris, in this very room. My heart clenches with sorrow at the thought of discovering Hawi in one of the other rooms in the house in the same position. Despite the stillness of his body, there is an aura of quiet dignity about him, as if even in death he retains a sense of poise and composure. "police, we need to call the police, don't touch anything" Nala's voice is shaky but loud and I nod towards her.

I ask Kosi to follow me to the car so we do not compromise the crime scene, we follow Nala out and we all sit in the car as she talks to the police on the phone. I hear her tell them she wasn't sure if he was dead. My mind goes back to the scene remembering his eyes were closed, his face pale and devoid of color, as if drained of life itself. A trickle of blood trailed from a wound on his temple. His hands lay limp at his sides, fingers curled slightly as if frozen in a moment of silent resignation. Morris was dead! Who had killed him? Was Hawi safe?