A letter to my friend Heather

Dear Heather,

It’s so good to hear from you! I got quite excited with you letter and I had to respond imediatly, even if I don't know when i'll be able to post it on the mail... These days have being crazy.

Are you sitting? Guess who came back to the town to spend the holidays with his family? Yes, Henry, the one and only. God you should had seen him!

I was buying biscuits on Ms. Gomez grocery store when he came right in laughing at something his sister had said, and I swear to you that when I heard his laugh my heart started to race. We had a small talk, you know, the usual trivialities with all the "hello", "how are you doing?" and "long time no see". His sister left us alone for some minutes with the excuse of going to get some popcorn and I am sure my cheeks were red, I could feel my skin burning and you know that I hate it. The simple fact that someone can know how I am feeling just by looking at me makes me mad and feel invaded. Then he offered me a ride that I accepted, and before we say goodbye he asked me if I was free at Friday night and I said I was (should I have said that I wasn't? I just couldn't, not looking at that brown eyes full of expectations and that insecure smile).

You can imagine how I was when I arrived home, right? My anxiet y hitting the ceilling, the memories of the past coming all at once, our story passing through my mind like a movie. The days of excitment and joy, the months living as in a fairytale, the insecurity and fear that came with the distance and the nights I've spent crying in your bed while you tried to support me.

But you know me and my feelings for him, ten minutes later I was standing in front of my closet choosing the dress for friday night.

He took me to our favorite restaurant, he was SO DAMN HOT. I really don't know how someone can affect another the way he does to me. A little detail that is not even important to mention, but I liked a lot: he was wearing the shirt I gave to him years ago.

I can see you rolling your eyes and saying "Cmon, is just a shirt. He must have used it million times."

I know, I know, sounds silly and probably delusional, but I like to think that he did on purpose. Yes, roll your eyes again, whatever! Let me continue the story.

We talked a lot, he told me about his life in the big city, how he got the job that we wanted and is now working to a big science maganize, lives in an apartment in front of the beach and is thinking to adopt a dog. I was smiling and replying to everything but it was a strange feeling, you know? He was there and he was the same person I knew ages ago, but he was also different, and we both knew that the feeling was there. Old, strong, awaken. One thing led to another and you can imagine the end of the story.

That was last friday and were have been seeing each other every day since then, he is spending the holidays with his family and is going to stay until the end of the month. After that, I guess everything will turn back to the way it was...

I don't blame him Heather, I really don't. Not for leaving and following his dreams, it would be extremely selfish of me. But I can't avoid the tiny part of my heart that feels resentful for the life that we are probably never going to live, for the love that I feel for him, for the way that he comes and goes, for us being so weak...

Those are the things that haunt me in the middle of the night.

Does that make me a bad person? Everything is so confusing in times like this.

I know that you’ve told me a million times that I need to let this go, let HIM go and maybe one day I will, but for now I simply can't... Admitting that is so har!

Oh well, I guess I gave you enough dramma for a letter. Please, send a huge hug to your family! I can’t wait to visit you guys and bring some books that I bought thinking about you. I am sure we will have a lot of fun reading together.

I am so happy for you sharing your writting with the world, I never stopped believing in you!

Anyway, I just wanted to say that i miss you.

Love,

Fernanda.

Challenge link: https://shopping-feedback.today/writers/write-me-a-letter-challenge%3C/a%3E