A Home or a Prison?

It’s 4 am and I’m driving along quiet country roads. The dark of night softly covers the world around with me a thick, soft blanket. Sleepy houses pepper the landscape, and I can’t help but wonder - how do you sleep?

Did you curl up together in a safe, warm bed? Kiss each other good night and whisper “I love you?” Is your bedtime kiss passionate - awakening the butterflies in your stomach and have you reaching for more? Or is it a familiar peck on the lips done simply out of habit and courtesy? When you sleep, do you find each other nestled safely in each other’s loving embrace? Or do you turn your backs to each other, putting as much space between yourselves? Do pictures of your wedding day line your walls - a memory of the beginning of this happy fairytale of a marriage you live?

Or does your well manicured lawn and warm, welcoming front porch mask the truth behind closed doors? Is the air in your bedroom cold and sharp? Do hateful words cut through like glass? Does silence echo amongst walls, pictures of a happy couple on their wedding day hiding divots where fist met drywall? Do you share a bed like you used to share the same hopes and dreams for a better future? Or do you rest in separate quarters, the ever expanding distance between you growing more and more each day?

Tell me, sweet girl, I need to know.

Is your pillow streaked with mascara stained tears? Or does the faint smell of him gently guide you to sleep?

Are your sheets a mess from passionate kisses and tangled up legs? Or did you spend the night wrestling with the mess in your head?

When the soft light of dawn finds you, will you be met with a good morning kiss? Or will you quietly begin your day, staying quiet, staying invisible so you don’t wake the beast beside you?

Is your house a home? Or a prison?

As the road continues to carry me closer to my destination, I find myself searching each home for answers to the questions in my head. I come up empty again and again. From the outside looking in, it’s hard to decide. I’ll never know the truth that hides behind closed doors and covered windows.