A Heart Torn Apart

Although she was thwarted, comeuppance was running through her veins. She cupped her hands and filled it with cold water, she submerged her face and the woman deep within resurfaced. This room was to provide solace and privacy, but she felt invaded and torn, dripping over the sink.

As like a prisoner being caught in the midst of an escape, her twin sister came from her room, her mother and her grandmother too. But their probing eyes drew her further within herself. It was Sunday and the family were suppose to be gathering downstairs for rosol. Her grandmother was the most concerned out of them all, and she had a face that looked mean with a nasolabial fold on either side of her nose, long white hair but her eyes spoke of warmth and care. They divulged words that were suppose to hit the centre of Agatas heart, but it went through her like the eidolon of familial bond.

Usually she would stop for conversation with her grandmother, a quick hug from her mom or poke fun at her sister, but today she gave a glance that didn’t fall down the length of their bodies in disappointment in herself, but went across to her door instead. What should’ve been her opening to narnia became something else entirely.

‘Why do you always want to destroy things, I told you I’m sorry’ His tone bounced off the wall and into her ear as he stood up from the floor, his arms loose at his side readying his muscles to stop her from going past him without an answer. He watched her feet and as they seem to be remaining in place, he spoke again.

‘I’m here wifey, I want to prove to you that I don’t want to be like this,’ The sweet calling of her second name softened his tone and she began to realise the cold air coming through the window. (She wondered how someone could do something for her, but then complain about them later; how someone could claim to love her but not afraid to lose her, how their actions could be so careless but yet everything he did without her was well thought out and consistent.)

He rested his hands on her upper arm stopping her from going wherever he thought she was going, bringing warmth to her skin, but with hurt in his eyes his mind began to suggest things that tightened his grip and with a wince Agata angrily wiggled herself out of his grip and the coldness returned to her arms. (Why can’t I love her the way she deserved to be loved, why can’t I do for her what she does for me. Why can’t I run to her the way she runs to me, instead I go into my head and I hide their until I see the castle burning. Can she ever forgive me for leaving her when she needed me, will she ever trust that when I am silent I am looking for ways to be better for her? )

Where was the woman that was on her knees waiting for him to give her his shirt to iron, where was the yearning where was the desire?

‘Go where you said you wanted to go and leave me alone. I’m sure they are all waiting for you,’ Her voice did not deceive her, she cried many days and nothing made him see the pain he caused her but now that her spirit was crushed and replaced with someone they both did not know. Her need to leave the house was met with resistance.

He tried to rip the trousers she was about to put her legs in but her mind was on the driver who was coming to pick her up, she got so tired of his lies and broken promises, he was nothing but a villain trying to get equal footing with her but failing at his very best. His voice and frustration was drowned out by the honking outside. Eventually he grew tired and she went on her way, wearing the lipstick and the jeans he told her he liked seeing her in - but in the back of another man’s car.

Looking at the back of his head she remembered that he liked to wear cornrows, but they were neat as though they were freshly done anticipating seeing her again. This wasn’t the first time they saw each other since he got off the plane, but they were far apart and he was with the mother of his child with the baby in the pram. The mall was packed and there were many people walking inbetween them, but before Agata knew it, they were gone.

‘I can’t believe I get to have you all to myself, you know we spent a long time long distance, you always had these excuses…,’ his voice was deeper than usual even though she hadn’t heard it in a while, but with him facing the staring wheel and paying attention to the road, she felt confident in allowing his voice to undress the frustration she felt for her husband.

When they were finally at the hotel they checked in, they ran to their room, tapped their card and entered. She dropped her bag on the floor and he took his jacket off, she realised how tall he was now that there’s no distraction between them. She recognise that same charm he brings just by existing, just by looking at her and for being przystojny (handsome) - but for her - annoyingly przystojny.

‘I want to have you in every way, but I can’t help thinking about your baby’s mother…’

He heard her accent as though it was for the first time, as if their phone calls wasn’t enough exposure for him, he enjoyed her hopeless roll of the tongue, where her accent was most pronounced. She had followed behind him when they got inside, but she stayed by the door and he had gone over to the bed where he placed his jacket.

‘Does he know where you are?’

Before she could answer, he walked over to her without kissing her but leaving the decision for her to make, she kept her eyes on his chest; creating separation from her lust.

Everything she promised herself : Be faithful to your husband until the day he dies, no matter what he does, stay close to him and work it out. All of those promises transferred between their tongues as they completed the rhythm of the longing that they never thought they could quench, until now.

‘Al…’ she said as she kept her arms rested on and around his shoulder.

‘Do you think I’m stupid for taking him back after he paid those women to sleep with him?’

‘I think you had good reasons. But I think that should be between you and him.’

Of course. She was disappointment, but she knew them being here together - though it may have had a lot to do with their partners - also strictly had everything to do with what they could do to and with each other in this room. She was his escape from the hard times with his other lover, but now that there’s a threat, he found it hard to keep his composure.

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A/N: Thank you for reading