A HANDFUL OF LOVE

The day was slowly brightening up. In the room of a damp house with a stove near extinction, Asya was tossing and turning in her bed. Again, she had fallen asleep in her school uniform because of her laziness. She got up from the bed with her friends calling her, kissed her mother, and headed off to school with brisk steps. Asya was a child who had never seen love from her father. If only he loved her hair once, if he ever said "my daughter" and kissed her, no one would be happier. Asya was lost in thought again on her way... Her father was someone who did not talk much, was surly, , and complained about everything.

Does my father love me? Does he love me but can't show it, or does he not love me? Will he remember my birthday? Will he ever call me "my daughter" and kiss and hug me just once?

These questions troubled her mind on the way. Finally, she arrived at school, went to her classes, and it was evening. Today was her birthday. When she got home, her father had already come from work and was sleeping. He must have been very tired today. As usual, her mother was the only one who remembered her birthday. Unlike her father, her mother was a very caring and lively woman who showed her love, but her husband's surliness was killing her joy. The woman spent her days cooking in the kitchen. Her hands were full of bruises from washing dishes and cold water. For Asya's birthday, she had prepared a beautiful cake. When she saw this, the little girl was very happy.

"Thank you, my dear mother.

"My beautiful girl, I'm glad you were born..."

While Asya happily blown out the candles, her father continued to doze, watching them. did not get up, did not say anything… Her mother took a photo. In this photo, Asya is blowing out the candles on the cake... Her father lay on his side, continuing to look at the camera from the corner of his eye. This was a photo frame where Asya would always feel worthless in her life and was not loved by her father... Days passed like this. There were only 2 people in that damp house, only her mother and Asya. His father's body was there, but his spirit seemed to have been withdrawn, he was absent. He was coming home, eating, sleeping, and going to work.

- Doesn't my father love me?

-No, he can't show his love.

-If love is real, how can it not be shown, mom?

-She loves you but can't show it.

Was being a dad just bringing money home? Asya was getting enough in this house, but there was an unfilled emptiness in her heart, it was paternal love. No one but his father could fill that void. Of course there would be those who tried to fill it, but they would just try to fill it. They would never be able to complete a daughter's fatherly love...

It's evening, it's morning, the days go by, the little girl was just waiting for her father to love her. It was morning again, it was time for school. While walking on the road, he suddenly stopped and sat in a park watching the girls playing with his father, how happy they were. She had never had such memories and she knew she would never be… Asya was getting bigger every day. The lack in his heart was not diminishing, but it was getting bigger and bigger, and this was hurting him more and more. Her mother was also fed up with this situation, she always prayed when she was pregnant, let my daughter not be silent like her father, let her always talk and be very cheerful… And it was so, Asya became a girl who was always smiling. Sometimes when a person cries and screams inside, the opposite happens to the outside. He laughs a lot, but no one knows what storms are brewing inside him…

He was 20 years old. As Asya grew up, she wanted to take someone into her life, to fill the love she didn't see from her father with others, maybe she always made wrong choices, but she still loved people she wasn't supposed to love . What do they say? Girls' first loves are their fathers. They want to love, to be loved, to see everything from their first father, and they look at the father-daughter relationships around them with envy. There was only one thing that Asya learned from her life, she would not be like her father who won't do what she saw from her father to her own children. He has always made this promise to himself throughout the 27 years he has lived. I will be a very good mother…

At the age of 27, she was dying in the operating room of a hospital with the corridor lights flashing, before she could see her baby at the birth of her first baby. She was a strong mother who sacrificed herself for her daughter. Wishing you to find your father's love in another world, Asya...