A Flight

"Do you like the female British voice or the male Aussie? I can click this button and change it."

"It will confuse the passengers and make them anxious. Choose ONE and stick to it!" Marsha was co-piloting with Brad and tired of his antics. An error in scheduling had resulted in her being called up for the flight.

"Which one do you prefer?"

"We are in the United States, and most of the passengers are U.S. residents since it is a domestic flight! Please switch to the normal voice!" Brad winked at her and flipped the switch. She detested his winks. A smooth voice reminiscent of Perry Como from her grandparents' records filled the plane.

"Hello from the Flight Deck. We will be taking off in just a few moments. Please ensure that your seatbelts are fastened. The flight crew will be coming through shortly to check the cabin. Please put your phones in airplane mode and prepare for a smooth ride. This will be a pleasant flight, and we expect to land in two hours."

Brad seemed pleased with himself. Such a child; I don't know how he became captain of any airline. Constantly seeking attention and praise.

The skies were clear, and the ride was smooth as they cruised at altitude.

Angela, the passenger in seat 14B, was annoyed by the large man beside her in the aisle seat. He wore beige pants and a dark sweatshirt. Feet widened by the extra weight they had to carry, the passenger wore sloppy, ragged loafers. He had raised the armrest for extra room and sat with his legs spread wide, his foot continually touching hers. His extra-large hips extended over his seat into her space, his belly was huge, and he breathed open-mouthed. She asked to get out, and he groaned with the effort of standing. She hung out in the galley area as long as she could but was in the way, so she returned to her seat.

The man had removed his loafers, and a pungent odor hit her nostrils. "Sir, put your shoes on. You are not the only one in this row. I'd like to get to my seat."

Suddenly, a female British voice came loudly over the intercom, startling everyone. "We are losing altitude; everyone sit down!"

Next came a male southern drawl. "It's all right; take your time, folks."

"Sit down, sit down!" screamed the Brit.

Carrie, the first-class lead flight attendant, knocked on the cockpit door.

Perry Como announced: "We must do an emergency landing. Buckle up; place your seat trays in the upright position. Stay in your seats!"

A somewhat bumpy landing was next, all passengers holding on to the seat before them.

Angela deplaned last and, passing the cockpit area, her eyes widened as Carrie pulled a plug attached to the male pilot. He slumped in his pilot seat, eyes closing, head lolling sideways.

Marsha winked and explained, "He's a test pilot - robot Pilot Brad. You have a nice day."

Copyright © 4/7/2025 by Andrea O. Corwin

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