A Fit of Rage

"Mandy!! Why have you got just a B in your last weeks physics test?"

"Just one of many other days where I am fighting to get love and attention from my own mom, who I thought has forgotten that her child is more than investment of some semen and ovaries, or not just some sorta breathing future asset that needs to be developed."

Mandy spoke to herself what you or I would be imagining no so normal for a 15 year old girl to be thinking in her head, just because her mum scolded her for not getting good grades?

"...and your teacher keeps calling, to complaint one or the other thing, what exactly do you plan to do ahead in your life with this level of carelessness?..."

"She carries on her plethora of rebukes unaware of the child's mind, and what's with this teacher, the bloody lunatic always chasing after me, calling my mom every now and then, but not helping me when I was being bullied in front of him huh?

Or maybe he'd if I ever become regular to his "extra sessions" after school which Betty has joined too. Speaking of which, I don't really feel Betty is alright these days, she doesn't talk much now, seems gloomy and got scared when I touched her from behind yesterday.

I might become a touch me not too after getting in the extra sessions."

*chuckles*

"WHAT IS SO FUNNY ABOUT IT?!! Know what? Your dad should've taken your shameless self to bring milk too, or maybe that was the reason he never returned since the day you were born."

*silence*

Even her mind went silent to shut down all other thoughts as the words echoed in her brain with her soul and heart trying to accept what her brain is telling her in each reverb of her mother's word.

"What? Wait did she— I know I am not the ideal child you'd ask to god for but, mom, CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT I DID FOR YOU?

I killed my childhood, suffocating it at my own hands, trying day and night to just make you feel contented and proud of me, and you are telling me in all these years, that that's what you think of me?"

The next few moments of unsaid words exchanged by her mother's gaze that she watched from her bowed head without even looking at her, were giving her the fits of rage to change the color of white vase of flowers, kept next her on the wooden center table, to a brimming bloody red.

But before that could happen, emotions kicked in driving her sprinting to her room and locking from inside, she thought her mom would knock and shout at the door, but she didn't it was all silent, except for her mind that said,

"Where did I fail? In all those sufferings I endured alone, trying to not "bother" you with "my issues".

Burning my finger trying to make my own breakfast because you were to busy getting over the hangover from previous night, and still getting lashed at.

Or not even asking once for a vacation/trip/even a simple gift that are showered upon kids as if they are a necessity not leisure."

She scanned through every action of her, as the ones she had scanned through went scrolling down her cheeks encaged in a saline shiny sheet of water. And it went on, till her draining eyes finally, got heavy with sleep.

Waking up an hour later, wiping her swollen eyes, not the first time though, she recalls what had taken place, but this time consoling herself in her head

"It must be because she's alone right? After dad left, and no one visits to even check on us, isn't it just the two of us who are there to take care of each other?

She might be a bit angry though, but she still will love me...I guess."

Wasn't the first time she yelled at Mandy, but was definitely the only time she said about Mandy being the cause of her father leaving them. Mandy was hurt, from something even a 30 year old would cry, but being the kid somewhere she deluded herself, into believing that her mom still loves her, opening the creaky door slowly, of her room, to enter the hall of events again.

"MOOOOOMM!!!"

She yelled, watching her mom's blood on the floor, lying beside her, who wasn't even struggling to make a breath now.

"What happened to you mom?!! How?!!! Who did this?? MOM!!! Wake up na!! Please mom!!"

She cried, probably the loudest she ever spoke or cried, more like the loudest she was allowed to speak or cry, since her last cry as toddler. But the question still was, the same, who did this?

She looks around to find out, the vase on floor dyed red, only to recall her emotions hitting after the fit of rage.