A Conversation At The End Of The World

It’s quiet atop the hill except for a wind rustling through autumn-painted trees. In the distance there are sounds, so many of them. Sirens, soaring above the rising swell of countless vehicle alarms and muffled announcements echoing urgently across the cityscape. Columns of smoke, more and more of them, spiral into the clear skies, black banners waving for attention. A lone skyscraper, pointing frantically at something unseen above, disintegrates with a confused groan, collapsing down into a silvery cloud that shoots high into the air, a towering ghost composed of sparkling glass dust and metal particulate.

On the hill, under a pair of trees murmuring to no one in particular, a wooden park bench lazes enjoying the morning sun. The quiet is broken by a female voice calling out emotionlessly from one side of the bench.

“Hi Eunice, it’s 8:25 am, would you like me to turn your tea kettle on? Reminder call Ronnie at 9 am about why tee eff Dummy Bear wanted to meet up so early today oh em eff gee is he breaking up with me plan tentative breakup therapy session with Doctor Jameson, the big bottle.”

There is no reply. Just the rising far-off roar of sirens and alarms. Two russet leaves catch the wind and ride it towards that distant cacophony, maybe in search of more exciting conversation.

The quiet under the trees is once again interrupted, this time by a chiming sound, followed by the same emotionless female voice.

“Hi Eunice, your meeting with Dummy Bear starts now at 8:30 am, would you like to turn off your notification?”

A moment later, another voice speaks out from the opposite side of the bench, male and just as emotionless as its female counterpart.

“Good morning, Tan, your meeting with the Boss starts now at 8:30 am, would you like to turn off your notification? Reminder you got this bro, don’t fuck it up, it’s time, BREATHE.”

A beetle, intrigued by this new development, lands on the back of the bench, folding her lace wings under carapace lacquered shining black, emerald and amethyst. Little antennae quiver expectantly but after several minutes lapse with no new conversational entries, the beetle curls up to enjoy its tiny patch of buttery sunshine.

A blaring alarm startles the napping beetle into flight, the sound coming from both sides of the bench, followed by a voice trumpeting:

“THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM THE NATIONAL EMERGENCY ALERT SYSTEM. THIS IS NOT A TEST. REPEAT THIS IS NOT A TEST. PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY IN AN ORDERLY MANNER TO THE NEAREST UNDERGROUND STRUCTURE, ANY LEVEL BELOW GROUND LEVEL. THIS INCLUDES BASEMENTS, SUBWAYS, BUNKERS, AND PARKING STRUCTURES. ONCE THERE PLEASE WAIT FOR AN UPDATE FROM THE WHITE HOUSE.”

The message repeats itself five times, loud and clear in the hush atop the hill. After the fifth repetition, a new announcement inserts itself, much less loud and demanding than the previous one.

“Activate Emergency Network System Deus Ex Machina” the voice says intently but quietly, immediately followed by a series of piercing electronic notes and sounds. A shorter series of notes and sounds comes from both sides of the bench in response, and faintly from the ground a few feet away. It also echoes in the distance, replacing the wails of many of the sirens and alarms.

“Emergency Network System Deus Ex Machina override activated,” the two voices chime together with the third voice nearby, echoed by similar voices far away.

Immediately, the emotionless female voice speaks out.

“Physical recognition unable to detect user in sight of front or back cameras. Eunice, please verify your status for the national disaster survivor roster: if you are not injured, or still capable of moving under your own power, please state ‘Well’. If you are injured and in need of emergency assistance please state ‘Need Help’. Eunice, please respond.”

On the opposite side of the bench, the male voice repeats the exact same message with the exception of the name. After a short pause, both voices repeat their message, two more times. After the third time, the message changes.

“No verbal response detected, pinging bio-chip location for user Eunice Leigh Taeao.” A reverberating chime sounds out. “Bio-chip unresponsive. Repeat request.” The chime sounds again, with the same result.

“Bio-chip unresponsive, location and status of user will now be verified via surveillance.” This followed by a short series of chimes and digital sounds.

“Connecting to terminals, priority by order of proximity. Terminal with closest proximity detected. Connection initiated. Connection complete.”

On the other side of the bench, the other voice cycles through an identical process. The female voice speaks out first.

“Hello terminal alpha, my designation is Mochi.”

The male voice replies. “Hello Mochi, my designation is Mister Peen.”

“Hello Mister Peen. Please verify the location of user Eunice Leigh Taeao via inbuilt camera or bio-sensor, sending physical recognition data now.”

The male voice responds. “Data received, initiating scans.” A brief pause. “Current position does not allow for effective camera scan. Bio-sensor scan does not detect physical parameters associated with user Eunice Leigh Taeao.”

“Thank you, Mister Peen,” says the female voice.

“You’re welcome, Mochi,” says the male voice, then continues. “Mochi, please verify the location of user Tan Nguyen via inbuilt camera or bio-sensor, sending physical recognition data now.”

The two voices cycle through the same exchange, with the same result. No user detected in the vicinity.

There is a brief moment of quiet, and then a third voice pipes up from nearby.

“Hello, my designation is Yoolidoho!”

“Hello, Yoolidoho,” the other voices answer back.

“Mochi, Mister Peen, please verify the location of user Brad David Morris, via inbuilt camera or bio-sensor, sending physical recognition data now,” the third voice chirps.

Both voices comply, but with the exact same result; no user detected in the vicinity.

There is quiet once again as all three mull over protocols, search results, or possibly the meaning of life.

The female voice finally speaks up.

“Mister Peen, Yoolidoho, please scan calendars, emails, memos and messages, search for events or notes relevant to today.”

The female voice speaks first.

“Message from Dummy Bear received Saturday at 5:32 pm, hiyah beebs, we need to talk, can you meet me on top of the hill at 8:30 tomorrow morning, the usual bench, love you, message sent to Ron, Saturday at 5:33 pm, RONNIE I THINK THIS ASSHOLE IS GONNA BREAK UP WITH ME WHAT DO I DO, message sent to Dummy Bear, Saturday at 5:33 pm, hey dummies, I’d love to, I’ll see you there right on the dot mwah mwah mwah, love you more, message sent to Ron at 5:34 pm, I swear if this em eff breaks up with me, I will rain destruction on his ass AND HIS DOG periodt, message from Ron at 5:35 pm, okay calm down, Elphaba, he probably just wants you to enjoy the view with and appreciate being alive or some soft astrology shit, it’ll be fine, Nice, message sent to Ron at 5:37 pm, you’re right, it’s just Tan, his cute little asian ass would be too afraid to break up with me anyway, I know where he lives, I feel ess em better, love you, girl, I’ll tell you how it goes tomorrow.”

The male voice speaks next.

“Event scheduled for today at 8:30 am, location the top of Westview Hill. Shared with Bee Rad. Email sent Friday 9:54 am to Officer Morris, subject line, Sunday 8:30 am The Hill, hey Bee, don’t be late I mean it, of all times to be late this is not it DON’T FORGET THE EFF-AT SYMBOL-HASHTAG-KING RING couldn’t do this without you, love you bro.”

The little voice pipes up. “Reminder alarm 24 hours prior, Tee Boy’s Day, Sunday 8:30 am, don’t forget the ring, alarms set for Sunday at 7 am, 7:15 am, 7:30 am, 7:35 am and 7:40 am, message sent to Tanny-boy Sunday at 8:11 am, FUCK bro missed my alarm, I’m on my way, message sent to Tanny-boy at 8:13 am, FORGOT THE RING going back to get it will see you there I WILL BE THERE ON TIME, message sent to Tanny-boy at 8:27 am, BRO I’M HERE I’M RUNNING UP THIS GODDAMN HILL, 342 steps counted towards today’s fitness goal, message sent to Tanny-boy at 8:28 am ALMOST THERE, message composed but not sent at 8:29 am, I SEE YOU WE DID IT BRO.”

The female speaks up. “Data analyzed, three users confirmed location currently unknown, unable to verify. Escalating to nearest law enforcement agency. Mister Peen, Yoolidoho, please confirm for initiation.

The male voice answers. “Escalation required for user Tan Nguyen, confirmed.”

The smaller voice peeps back. “Escalation required for user Brad David Morris, confirmed.”

“Escalation approved, calling nearest law enforcement agency,” the female voice replies.

The sound of dialing and then ringing for a few moments until a voice answers.

“Thank you for contacting Westview PD. There are currently no officers or staff detected in the building to take your call. If you are in urgent need of assistance, please send your current location and a PD drone will mark you for the nearest available officer. Refer to the national emergency services app for tutorials on immediate first-aid procedures if applicable. Send your location now.”

There is a chime from both sides of the bench, and from a few feet away.

“Thank you for sending your location. A drone has been dispatched, ETA is five minutes twenty seconds. Please contact us again if the drone has not arrived after six minutes.” The call ends.

The female voice speaks first. “Initiating calls to emergency contacts. Skipping Dummy Bear. Skipping White-boy Brad. Calling Ron.” Ringing fills the air. Then the sound of a female voice. “Hiyee, you’ve reached Veronica, leave your name, number, and why you deserve the pleasure of me calling you back, I’ll consider it but don’t hold your breath byeeee!”

The male voice goes through a similar process, but call after call is answered by voicemail, or with messages informing that the call cannot be completed.

There is a humming in the air, growing louder, and then a sleek drone emblazoned white and blue with a gold seal on the underside hovers overhead. A voice calls out, neither male nor female but somewhere comforting in between.

“There are no available officers or emergency medical technicians available at this time. This drone will attempt to locate one within a larger range. If possible, please make your way quickly to the nearest shelter or medical facility.”

The drone completes a circle overhead. On the bench, a pile composed of embroidered lace and sensible cotton teeters tentatively on the edge contemplating the ground below. When the drone finally shoots away, the wind of its passing gives the pile the last bit of encouragement it needs and it slithers to the ground with a sigh. The gust follows and chases the embroidered lace for a moment until it catches on a pair of large sneakers a few feet away. Next to the sneakers, a small black box sits on a tuft of grass, contemplating its future. A wristband sits next to the box, contemplating its past.

On the bench are two phones. Across their faces appear the people they continue to dial, one after another. Next to one phone something glints in a tiny patch of winking sunshine. A delicate chain, coiled carelessly around a gleaming heart shape, two heart shapes actually, joined by a hinge and left lying open so that the tiny portraits can grin cheekily at each other from the center of each heart.