352 CSI — It's an Alternate Life!

"What we got?" the CSI detective asked.

"Crashed right into the house. Lookit," Bert replied.

"Arright, call it in," the detective said.

"320 Sycamore Avenue," Bert spoke into his walkie-talkie. "Right, Bedford Falls. Need a cherry-picker and prolly the jaws of life. I don't know how we're gonna extract the perp up there. Looks pretty twisted."

"I came as fast as I could," huffed George, whose rushed back when he heard there'd been a crash at his house. He'd been atop the town's steel truss bridge, contemplating suicide over a missing $8,000 at the Baily & Bros. Building & Loan. "Bert, wh'happened?"

"A sleigh. Dropped outa the sky. Hit your roof hard. Waitin' on the cherry-picker to see if anyone's alive."

"He is," said Ernie, holding an obese man in a red suit by the collar. "Go on wit'ya, Fatso," he said, pushing him forward, adding, "caught him stuck in the chimney. Wit' a bag-o'loot."

"Arright, big fellah," Bert told him. Then he turned to George. "Skipped the chimney sweep this year, George? He's all sooty."

"Whatcha doin' with that big bag of loot?" the detective asked. He looked the man over. "How'd ya figure to fit through the chimney, anyways?"

The man simply answered, "Magic."

"Ah, magic," the detective laughed. "Bert, run him in." Then he laughed, adding, "And his big, invisible rabbit, Harvey."

"That's a 10-4, detective."

"Mary!" George suddenly remembered. "Bert, is she alright?"

"Who's Mary?" Bert asked.

"Mary Hatch Bailey! My wife!" George said. Bert looked at Ernie.

"She's an ol' maid," Ernie said. "Never got married after all those men died in the war."

"No, Harry saved them."

"No," said a soft, pudgy man. "Harry's dead. He couldn't save 'em."

"Who are you?" the detective asked.

"Clarence," the pudgy man responded. "Looking to get my wings."

"Book 'im, too, Bert. Something's fishy."

"And George?"

"Potter ratted him out. He's got eight thousand bucks stashed."

"Look what I found!" shouted Bert, opening the fat man's sack. "I'd say about eight thousand bucks' worth."

"That's for George!" the fat man shouted.

"Sure it is. Ernie, better call the paddywagon. George makes three."

"Triple paperwork," the detective sighed. "And on Christmas Eve, to boot."

____________

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

For Tuesday, December 17, Day 352 of the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge.

366 WORDS (without A/N)

ONLY A FORTNIGHT TO GO! THE STORIES KEEP COMING LIKE BURNING OUT LEDS ON A CHRISTMAS TREE ON IN THIS 2024 STORY-A-DAY VOCAL CHALLENGE.

There are currently 3 holly-jolly Vocal writers in this 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge:

• L.C. (Under the mistletoe) Schäfer

• Rachel (Walking by twinkletoe) Deeming

• Gerard (Under the cameltoe) DiLeo

AMONG THEM,THIS YEAR VOCAL HAS ADDED OVER A THOUSAND(!) UNIQUE, NEW STORIES. NOT TOO SHABBY!